What an evil question! Phonograph is about the only format I NEVER heard in my life.

As soon as I outgrew whatever the equivalent of Baby Einstein was in my day, my grandmother presented me with a tiny Pepto-Bismol Pink Barbie record player.

It played 45s, but I only knew that big records were for big people and the tiny records were made just for me(!).

The device had quite a set of lungs and frequently played Chipmunks (Alviiiiiiiiin!) and Kids Incorporated.

Until one glorious day, a paper bag magically appeared among my Carebears and Ponies. Inside the greasy, crumpled paper were dozens of discarded tiny records (made just for me!). That was the day I found and fell in love with…

Billy Joel.

Yes, Billy freaking Joel. The man is 30 years my senior. But while still in my single-digit years, I found Uptown Girl to be the greatest song in history. And HE was the creator!

Over and over and over again, I’d play Uptown Girl during ‘dress-up’, Barbie drama, rabbit tea parties, and while sweating the afternoon away with my EasyBake Oven.

I played Uptown Girl so much and at such high decibels, that one day, the record disappeared completely. Vanished into thin air!

But, granny to the rescue, I soon had a NEW tiny record (made just for me!), and though I wanted to keep it from vanishing, I couldn’t help myself from playing it just as loud as before.

In time, the entire Pepto-Bismol Pink Barbie record player vanished. Into thin air!

Another music-making device did not enter my playroom until the cassette player which came with strict instructions to use only with headphones.

Just in case, though, I was told Billy didn’t sing on tapes. But, I soon found a new love…

Joey McIntire. Sigh.