I would love to have a flamingo as a pet. It would really shake up the neighborhood. Have it live front and center on my front lawn. The neighbor's dog is such a little scaredy cat that maybe he might even be afraid of the flamingo and stop crapping on our lawn every day. If I had a flamingo, then Dale would finally have to install that water feature I've been wanting. I'm allergic to shellfish though, so that could be a problem. I'd have to wear gloves when I feed Pinky the flamingo. She could teach me how to be graceful and balance on one leg. I could teach her how to be okay with being different than all the other pets on the block. My cats would jump up and down and try to attack her through the glass front window. They'd get lots of exercise and won't need a diet any more. We'd be quite the happy family. Of course Mr. Plastic flamingo would then be left in the dust and be forced to live in a landfill, but I'll try not to miss him too much.