The Real Parenting Award
This is simple. If you are a parent who actually does parenting, you get this award. By this, I mean the following:

1. You actually discipline your kid(s) as needed. Example: your kid acts up in a public place, you take them out and discipline then accordingly. This is applicable by age. Obviously, you deal with a baby in a much different way than a bratty toddler, i.e. the baby probably needs a bottle or diaper, the bratty toddler probably needs a good spanking. You get the idea.
2. You place the welfare of your kids first. If you are too stupid to leave your kids at home alone without proper supervision because you want to go out bar hopping, then you are not a real parent.
3. You work to instill values in your children. Things like honesty, courtesy, ethics, helpfulness, kindness.
4. You know that parenting takes work. If you are a man, you "man up" and do what is needed for your child. If you are woman, you act like a good mother who is caring and able to make sure her kids behave well.

The Dumbass Pseudo Parenting Award
This is the exact opposite of the "Real Parenting Award." If you are a sorry dumb ass whose only achievement was to breed (barely), and then you neglect your kids on a regular basis so that they become pretty much feral animals, you are eligible for a Dumb Ass Pseudo Parent Award. Because you just because you gave birth to them or knocked up some female who then gave birth to your spawn does not make you a parent. You may be eligible for this if you do things like this:

1. You allow your little spawn to run freely in the mall, supermarket or other public place where close supervision is needed. You get bonus points if your kid destroys merchandise, and a store manager has to actually come out and demand payment for your kid's destructive mayhem.
2. You leave your kids unsupervised at your home. "It was just a quick run to the Quicky Mart to get some smokes."
3. You willfully and intentionally neglect your kids.
4. Your kids never learn to take responsibility for themselves when they do something wrong? Why? Because you raise them with a false sense of entitlement where they grow up thinking they can do no wrong.