"What ages were your favorite?"

7
I got a Malibu Barbie doll.

9
I didn't get hit by a car this year.

10
For my birthday this year I saved the human race from alien enslavement. Then I got to eat chocolate cake BEFORE dinner.

13
I went into a coma for seven years.

20
I choked on water reading the sentence "I didn't get hit by a car this year."

Okay, that was actually true. I really did choke on it because I started laughing. Then I debated whether or not it was worth texting my best friend about it.

That is probably the only true thing you will read on this profile.

30
BABIES

80
Death and stuff.