WebMD
Know a lot about most things that ail you but doesn't really have much of a bedside manner.

:-)
His facial expression are emoticons

Twitter
Can't speak in sentences of more than 140 characters

Windoze
Always has a sour personality. Probably comes from the fact that he will often stop everything freeze and then need to go back to the beginning and start over again. WebMD is always trying to treat him for some type of virus he is catching.

eHarmony
While he was never very good at speaking up and letting anyone know how he felt. eHarmony has discovered a world where he can (through a pseudonym) share everything with everyone and hopefully finally find a girl and move out of his current living arrangements.

RedBull
He is now always wired and spends endless hours online coming up with questions to be asked to people he has never met and hoping they will spend more time on their answers than he did coming up with the quest..... Oh oh, I need another can.....

Dopey
There were just too many options to choose from to try and rename this dwarf. Most any political figure would work. After recent revelations, Tiger Woods would be an option. It's best to just sum them all up with the name Dopey.