Got OJ?

I would keep a monkey as a pet. It would not be the poop throwing kind. It would make friends with my dog and sometimes would ride the dog around the living room. Perhaps the monkey could learn how to load or unload the dishwasher, which would be awesome. However, I imagine that we would have to teach him how to use the toilet or put diapers on him all of the time. Because I really like my couch.