I would get a pygmy hog or red panda. I would sleep with them and feed them bits of apple. They would try to steal my food, and we'd wrestle for the last crumb. They'd defecate all over the house, and I'd just smile and say, "oh you!" I'd probably get evicted due to the noise, the stink, and the fear of infestation. Then I'd live on the street with my pygmy hog or red panda, and make them dance for food money.