SpongeBob Cookies!

Name a bizarre gift you received.
Who gave it to you? What was the occasion? Did you regift it?

The gift of cookies from a customer that hunted me down from a previous job only to have found me at my current one. Year after year she bakes a batch of “Oh my god what the fuck is that” and totes her pill popping ass over to wherever the hell I’m working and proudly gifts them to me. Then I act all thankful meanwhile inside I’m thinking “Just give me money bitch” but I can’t tell her that to her face because even though I’m not nice, she’s my Xanax source. These cookies are so bad they would make Jesus Christ jump back onto the cross, yet I always eat one cookie right in front of her and tell her how wonderful they are. Little does she know that as soon as she is out of sight I vomit and suck on a cat turd to get that taste out of my mouth. It’s important to puke it up because over the years I’ve learned that the only thing worse than eating her wretched cookies is smelling them after you crap them out.