"What a cheap bastard. Buried in a Sam Adams box? Seriously?"

"His wife seems completely destroyed. She must have really loved him."
"No. She found out the cat gets his life insurance."

"Look at all the people at this funeral!"
"Yeah the strippers and free beer really worked."

"He wanted to be blown up but they were afraid his dick would fall on someone and kill them."

"He requested the electric fence around his grave in his will. He does not want illegal aliens trimming his weeds."

"Wow that's a Rolls Royce limo. I wonder who is in it."
"The cat."