My answer was all ready to post, and it was going to be a good one. It was about peace, justice, collective action, freedom, tolerance, clean water, free energy, all that sweet stuff. I was sure that everyone on Plinky could join hands and sing “Kumbaya” after they read my answer. Then I read joeymanley’s answer, and I realized that I’d written a swirling pool of maudlin crap.

exquisite, extremely hi-def Earth

So instead I’ve put together this list of demands. I don’t know if they’ll make the world a better place, but they’ll make the world a better place FOR ME.

People of the Earth! Hear me! I want:

> Ice cream at every meal.
> And not cheap ice cream, either. Ben & Jerry’s is the bare minimum.
> No more leaf-blowers!
> Enough with the “reality” TV. Hire writers. TV is better with writers.
> Two-day work weeks and five-day weekends.
> Ice-cold beer and bubbling-hot pizza.
> More Monday holidays as an excuse to cut short a few of those grueling two-day work weeks.
> Government-subsidized lap dances.

Oh, what the heck, as long as I’m making demands, how about a little peace?