The Grace on 1040 - Plinky Answers

Give me Darth Vader in a Speedo, please.

2009-12-14T19:00:08-06:00

Not only do we have cookies, but we now have TV-o too! Plus, who doesn't love wearing black ALL THE TIME.

Katy Perry Fun

2009-12-06T01:03:33-06:00

Katy Perry 01

I've been told I look like Katy Perry alot. Red lips, dark retro-curled hair, and green eyes.

Bloody Awesome, Dude, Knarly, and Irrelavent.

2009-12-06T00:57:22-06:00

My vocabulary is incredibly rich.

Bloddy Awesome
If you say it in a British accent it just sound. Incredible.

Dude!
Self-explanatory. It's bloody awesome by default.

Knarly
Because it makes me feel like a damn cool surfer!

Irrelavent.
Because it's saucy.

Farmer:

2009-12-06T00:50:35-06:00

Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
A: Dude, where's my tractor?

Just can't get old.

2009-05-02T16:03:11-06:00

River Runs in You by Yiruma

Check Yes Juliet by We the Kings

Gives You Hell by All American Rejects

My childhood arch enemy

2009-05-02T15:58:21-06:00

Oh lord.

To be in fifth grade again.

Let's see, I think that year I hated Randi and Drake. Those two were evil. Rani put rocks down my shirt and Drake made fun of me alot.

Then again, I think I pretty much hated everyone that year.
I was an emo child.

Randi moved in sixth or seventh grade and came back for prom this year. Turns out I still despise her.

Made peace with Drake before he moved.

Now I don't actually have an arch enemy. I don't think.

Okay that was a lie. I'm just not mean enough to name names right now.

I can explain

2009-04-23T20:11:12-06:00

It was the baby.
I am blind.
The hobo down the street threatened my existence.

Chimpanzees are trhowing crap at our TiVo's.

2009-04-22T19:42:56-06:00

We evolved from them. They gave us HIV [supposedly]. THEY KNOW HOW TO PEEL BANANAS! Thus, we have the alpha-speices.

My Bitchy Friends

2009-04-11T16:56:31-06:00

Rosalie Hale and Isabella Swan

Y'know that part where Rosalie smashes the salad bowl because she's pissed that Bella already ate? Totally reminded me of my friend Carly... I was watching it in theaters and laughed out loud and then a million fangirls 'Shhh!'ed me. Oh and Bella sort of reminds me of myself when she ditches Jessica and Angela to go to a book store; the difference is, I would've gone to the book store much sooner and probably would've bought like ten books and then gone to another bookstore, and then dear old Edward would've had to haul me and my new library home.

lol.

My bucket list starts with: Kill Bill

2009-04-10T17:50:07-06:00

Kill Bill
If I'm dying that mother-fucker is going with me. Lmao. Just kidding. Hmm... Five things to do before I die?

1. I want to see all Seven of the world's wonders. Although, I'm pretty sure there are only six now, at least only six since like the seventeenth century when that big statue in Rhodes was hauled out of the harbor and sold as scrap metal. I dunno.

2. Steal something from a convenient store and get caught. I have to do this when I'm like 90 though. I just want to see if the cashier would bust an old lady for stealing half their inventory.

3. Stage dive. Like literally. I want to be at some hardcore rock concert, get up on stage next to the musician despite dozens of security guards screaming at me, and then jump into the crowd and hope they don't decide to let me drop.

4. Tell the truth for an entire day. Not a single lie. If my mom asks me if I like her cooking, I have to say no. If my boss asks me if I like his new toupe, I tell him it looks like a drowned ferret. Not one lie.

5. Take a yoga class. I want to have a hot body at some point in my life. That means I must break out the ab-roller and the bender ball.

Ok, well I'll probably procrastinate on that last one until its too late to be reasonable.

Zombies!

2009-04-10T17:30:00-06:00

Alright.

I need an elephant gun, a WWE wrestling center complete with the cage for cage matches, a whole mess of idiots, extra-strength gorilla glue, and some peanut butter.

So what we do is simple:

1. Create a trail of peanut butter leading from the broken-down city into the WWE cage.

2. Put a bunch of gorilla glue on the floor of the wrestling cage.

3. Let the idiots loose on the peanut butter. They will follow it into the cage and thusly, the zombies will follow them, hungering for their tiny brains.

4. When all of the brainless retards are inside the confines of the wrestling ring trying to figure out why in the hell their feet are sticking to the floor, cleverly cut the lines holding the cage up. If you time it just right, you may squash a few zomies with the cage, a bonus.

5. Open fire on them with the elephant gun, which can create a 9 1/2 inch hole in a human. We may loose a few comrades along the way, but thats a risk I'm willing to take.

And damn it all, when I'm done I'm gonna complain to Plinky about how the box where you change the default title on posts keeps running away.

[[hmm maybe its just me being retarded, but seriously, have you guys had these problems too?]]

Penguins: The Final Frontier

2009-04-10T17:18:25-06:00

The revoloution; Cutting edge, stylish, and goes with any color. The ULTIMATE pet:

my wife's first animated puppet

Penguins must be some sort of alien creature. I mean really. They're just like... little... and bird-like. And they have feathers, but do they fly? No. They swim. The rebels!

I'd also like a panda. Then I could have color-coordinated pets. And plus, how many people can honestly say they've been mauled by a panda?

It could spark a nickname. ooo! ooo! Idea!
Catch phrase! Instead of 'sick em boy' it would be so much cooler when I said:

"White and Black ATTAAAAAAACK!"

Catchy, I know.

My Wonderful Boobs and I

2009-04-10T17:00:41-06:00

Trying to impress that special guy? One word: cleavage. CAUTION: YOU MAY BE CALLED 'SLUTTY'.

When I'm trying to impress, I always go for the cleavage. Always. Its the one sure-fire thing in life. And when cleavage is not appropriate [such as during Mrs. Hanson's class], I just wear shirts that make my boobs look larger than they actually are. And POOF like magic someone is commenting. In fact, I once got five compliments on how lovely my boobs looked when I wore a tank top with an open crop top and a skirt to a dance. CHA-CHING!

I also aim for clothes that make my butt look nice. Skinny jeans and heels will do wonders.

And now the man knows the woman's secret... Da-Da- Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

I can't believe I did that

2009-04-09T20:25:05-06:00

Ah! Childhood. What a horrible stage.
First of all, the big kids always pulled that 'I'm older than you so I can tell you what to do' crap. They also lied to you and said things like, "If you eat a seed plants 'n' stuff will start growing in your stomache!" and, "Never sleep on a full moon without a night light or BLOOOODY MAAAAARY will get ya."
Secondly, adults always thought that they knew best. Pansies.
On to the positive parts!
1. You could be naked and not be called a tramp.
2. You could pee pretty much anywhere and then blame it on the baby.
3. Eating playdough was not frowned upon.
4. They didn't always shove your birthday cake in your face; only on leap years.
5. Dates didn't matter. Your parents told you when the holidays and birthdays were.
6. You didn't have to know the table of elements or have a political opinion.
7. You could scream profane words at the top of your lungs in the middle of Wal-Mart and people would see it as humorous. If you were under three years of age.
8. The little boy down the street actually liked to play chase. Now if you start to run they move on to the next contestant.
9. You could ride big dogs.
10. It was ok to scream on the Ferris Wheel.
11. Nobody cared if you were chubby. It just made you cuter.
12. You could make your mom or dad smash the spider and clean it up if you claimed an 'arachnephobia'.
13. You couldn't hold a vacuum upright. Bathroom cleaners were considered bad for your health. You couldn't reach the sink or close the dishwasher.
14. It was alright if you answered your parent's phone and hung up on whoever just called.
15. You could run naked in sprinklers. And at parties. And in the street. And in the house. And NOT in the bath tub.

I guess as a kid, the most embarrassing thing I ever did was steal. See, my dad took me into the gas station with him and bought me a strawberry milk. After he paid for it, he told me to go get back in the truck while he got some coffee. So I peered over the counter, and Wallah! Strawberry milk AND laffy taffy! Gold mine!
Unfortunately, on my way out with my spoils, a lady at the counter asked where her candy was. I slipped it into my pocket non-chalantly and tried to walk out. The cashier looked at me and said, "Little girl! That wasn't your candy!"
I stared at my feet and muttered, "Damn." Being only five, I had no idea about any of this. My dad came over giggling. The cashier glared. The lady gave me the candy and said, "Keep it kid."
And then my dad laughed when we walked out of the store and the whole way home. And then he told all my family as a joke and kept laughing. They didn't think it was funny. My grandma washed my mouth out with Dove soap. It really does moisturize.

Pregnancy Talks with Daddy-Dearest

2009-04-09T19:49:07-06:00

Have you ever seen this movie? It's pretty much a bad-ass description of a sarcastic girl's journey through unplanned pregnacy as a teen. One of my favorite movies definetly, the raw humor is just incredible.
Unfortunately for me, my father bought this movie for me and we watched it together the first time.
Time to relive absolute horror!
The whole time, he kept commenting on her actions saying things like, "This is scary. She is just like you!". Then we had a little sex talk afterwords where he thoroughly assured me that if I ever go pregnant while I was living under his roof, it would not be taken as likely.
So I've decided never to watch a movie rated more that PG with my father again. Sex talks just are not fun.

The comedy in this is hilarious and I was acting like it was immature and stupid the whole time whilst I suppressed my giggles. [[whilst is a funny word...]]

I Demand...!

2009-04-09T19:37:22-06:00

My demmands are simple. Meet them and you will have compensation.

I Demand...!
1. A cherry Icee.
2. A laptop priced around $200.
3. Flying monkies.
4. Edward Cullen.
5. A peanut.
6. A macho-macho-maaaaan!
6. To know the number that comes after six.
8. A spell-check.
9. Someone to get the dead llama out of the bathroom.
10. A cat that barks.
11. A baby that does not poop, cry, eat, or require attention.
12. A new salt shaker. I threw mine at my brother's head.
13. A carpenter to fix the hole in the wall from the salt shaker I threw at my brother's head.
14. Math class to DIIIIIIE!
15. People to comment this.