Give me an Escalade only I'm gonna pimp it out OldSkool: diamond in the back, sunroof top,gangsta whitewalls, tv antenna in the back. Of course OldSkool needs to update to: DVD screens on each seat back, satelitte radio and GPS. But fuzzy dice is de riguer. What? What?
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When you can't see the forest for the trees
Ohmygosh! Give me the Amazon Kindle so that I won't be a contributor to more tree killing machines to make paper. If I had a Kindle I'd be kinder, sweeter, more alert. Nah, I'd flaunt that thing like Britney flaunts her weaves. How many is she up to now anyways?
]]>Visit Hong Kong
I want to eat at a streetside vendor selling chicken parts, bugs and fish parts not known in these here parts.
Finding my high school drama teacher
I'd finally be able to tell her how much I hated her for pushing me into matronly, ugly, subservient roles just because I was fat and black. And I'd tell her I thought she was a horrible dancer!
Attending Fashion Week NY
I've always wanted to sit front row with a couple of hot dogs in my lap, a 44 oz on the floor below me and watch those poor starving creatures prance up and down the runway. I know that once they smell the food, their eyes will bulge and they will jump the crowd trying to find the hotdogs. The ensuing frenzy of those femmes fighting for food will be captured on every major news show and I'll be right there, wiping mustard from my lips and grinning.
Buying headstones for my parents
Because although they lived simple lives, I'd like them to have huge, ornate gravestones that signify how great and awesome I thought they were as parents.
Horrible! I was in the bridal receiving line and this big buffoon grabbed me and kissed me full in the mouth. The idiot had been chewing tobacco so I had to taste that most of the night. Needless to say, it took a long time to like cowboys after that.
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It's centrally located, has great food, lots of beautiful (not fake) people there. And it's ideal for fat people 'cause the seats are roomy and no one stares.
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It's a harsh sounding word and makes you spit twice. Once for the c and again for the t.
"I'm not locked in here with all of you, you're all locked in here with me! Rorschach screamed this to inmates after delivering a sufficient beat down to a bullying thug. I liked it because he was telling them all, "Watch yourselves, you don't know me!"
]]>The weather was hot and I was stuck in this ratty hotel w/two people who snored like bears in hibernation.
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