I don't understand why some people choose to live together, buy property together, have children together but not get married.

It's not that I'm against cohabitation. In fact, I'm pro-cohabitation, but in the sense that it's a step toward marriage; a sort of trial run to see if you can stand to live with one another and make the relationship work. How long a couple cohabit before marriage is up to them, of course, and some do it for years and years before they make any move toward marriage. Fine, if that's what works for them.

What I don't understand is when property buying and children become involved, and I'm talking about children that are planned. Sometimes children happen when the mom and dad aren't married and that's life. As long as the kids are well looked after and loved by both parents they'll be fine. But sometimes people plan their lives in that they find a partner, buy property and have children with no intention of marriage and I don't get that no matter how hard i try.

I have tried, too. Then I became a lawyer and my lack of understanding just solidified. I've seen too many people, mainly women, royally screwed in the break of up a relationship because they didn't get married. They simply do not have the same rights and claims they would had they married. My ex-boss used to avoid cohabitation cases like the plague because, as she said, "they're always bad news." And she's right. I've never seen one be good news for anyone involved.

Despite my views, I do not judge people in this respect. If I see people who are basically a family unit but sans marriage I don't scoff and say, "That's wrong and you shouldn't be doing it." No, I'm very much a live and let live type of woman and while I might not understand the reasons for it, I always think, "I hope it works out well for them."

I've heard many reasons over the years and I've yet to hear one that convinces me that not getting married is the best choice in such situations. I won't go into gay/lesbian situations because I've long held the belief that gay marriage should be legalised and I'm glad that in the UK and in some parts of the world and the US, something at least resembling marriage is now available to gay/lesbian couples.

People must make the life choices they feel are best for them and that I do understand but despite trying, I don't think I'll ever understand their reasonings in these particular situations. I just don't get it no matter how hard I try to.