have a party
I'm not usually the sort to have a big party on my birthday but I hope to this year. I'm not wild about turning 40 although I keep hearing that it's over rated and that life begins at 40. I hope so on both counts, but I figure rather than fight and resist and feel miserable about turning 40 I might as well celebrate it. If I've got to suffer with the number then I want to suffer in style with cake and presents!

So yea....I'm having a party. T'ain't no "like" about it. It's happenin'!

It's not that I'm against cohabitation. In fact, I'm pro-cohabitation, but in the sense that it's a step toward marriage; a sort of trial run to see if you can stand to live with one another and make the relationship work. How long a couple cohabit before marriage is up to them, of course, and some do it for years and years before they make any move toward marriage. Fine, if that's what works for them.

What I don't understand is when property buying and children become involved, and I'm talking about children that are planned. Sometimes children happen when the mom and dad aren't married and that's life. As long as the kids are well looked after and loved by both parents they'll be fine. But sometimes people plan their lives in that they find a partner, buy property and have children with no intention of marriage and I don't get that no matter how hard i try.

I have tried, too. Then I became a lawyer and my lack of understanding just solidified. I've seen too many people, mainly women, royally screwed in the break of up a relationship because they didn't get married. They simply do not have the same rights and claims they would had they married. My ex-boss used to avoid cohabitation cases like the plague because, as she said, "they're always bad news." And she's right. I've never seen one be good news for anyone involved.

Despite my views, I do not judge people in this respect. If I see people who are basically a family unit but sans marriage I don't scoff and say, "That's wrong and you shouldn't be doing it." No, I'm very much a live and let live type of woman and while I might not understand the reasons for it, I always think, "I hope it works out well for them."

I've heard many reasons over the years and I've yet to hear one that convinces me that not getting married is the best choice in such situations. I won't go into gay/lesbian situations because I've long held the belief that gay marriage should be legalised and I'm glad that in the UK and in some parts of the world and the US, something at least resembling marriage is now available to gay/lesbian couples.

People must make the life choices they feel are best for them and that I do understand but despite trying, I don't think I'll ever understand their reasonings in these particular situations. I just don't get it no matter how hard I try to.

Well actually, I DID get to see it in the theatre and it was definitely all that and a bag of chips.

I'm not sure I can really say what the appeal is with this film, or just the story itself. It's such an epic of humility, despair, determination and finally hope. I think anyone can identify with something in it. I've been likened to Scarlett several times because of my penchant for putting things off until tomorrow. I guess I can see some of myself in her. I always thought she was very misunderstood and internally misguided.

Anyway, GWTW was shown in select theatres in 1998 I think it was. I went. You couldn't stop me. The ex stayed with the girls and I went alone. I wasn't the only one. The theatre was filled with other women alone, like me, or two ladies together. There were a few couples, but mostly it was women. Guess you could say GWTW was the original chick flick!

Secrets of the Sun

But corn in this country just isn't the same. I always build up this anticipation only to be let down. They call it sweet corn in the UK and I'm here to say, it isn't the sweet corn *I* grew up with. I inevitably reminisce at the dinner table at some point over the summer of going to the farmer's markets where the farmer's just picked it the night before and they come to the market the next day, backing up their truck and selling 12 ears of corn for $1. I'm talking the kind of corn where we sat outside on lawn chairs by the back door shucking the stuff and then feasting that night.

Oh sure, one can find fresh stuff here, but as I said, it lacks the sweetness of the corn I came to know. It's ok. I still eat it and enjoy it but it lacks the succulence of the corn I came to know in my childhood.

This year, we've planted some corn in our allotment garden. The few corn plants we had last year died without producing anything. I have hopes this year that we will have corn from our own garden and that maybe....just maybe...it might hold a candle to the good ol' fashioned corn I once knew.

I've been to tons of concerts in tons of different places but the one I've been to the most now is the Hammersmith Apollo. It just seems like everyone plays there at least once. In some cases, that's the only place in London an act plays when they come to town. Fair enough. It's not the nicest or prettiest venue I've ever been to, but it's got a long history of hosting some of best concerts, so it gets my vote.

Any number of things: meditation, listening to relaxing music, taking a long walk in the woods, talking to someone, journalling, colouring in a colouring book. Depends on the situation and what is the best resource. Sometimes I don't have someone available to speak with so listening to some relaxing music might help or colouring or journalling. Sometimes I just need to remove myself from the source of stress so taking a nice long walk is best.

When I was working it was much more difficult to de-stress. They don't seem to believe in the concept of breaks in this country so if I needed one, I'd have to take the initiative to take one but often felt this was frowned upon. Sometimes it was as simple as just stopping for a few minutes to look out the window and let my mind unwind. Other times I'd just have to make the most of my lunch break and time after work to de-stress.

Unfortunately even this could be difficult. Law is such a high pressure job. I remember having a conversation with a former colleague once about de-stressing. Both of us agreed it took 2 or 3 days for us to completely relax when we went on holiday because we were wound so tight. I'm glad I don't have this problem any more.

Apple Keyboard (with Avid shortcuts; Letterboxed)

I definitely prefer writing on the keyboard. Why? Because I find that my thoughts can go so quickly that I wind up stopping in mid flow to try to catch up with my thoughts and then I wind up day dreaming. Before I know it an hour has passed and there's barely anything on the page.

With a computer or a typewriter, I can type up to 70 words per minute and I'm able to keep up with my thought processes much easier. Not to mention, it's much easier on the joints and tendons if I use the computer. In doing the Artist's Way morning pages, it's much better for me to type them out on the computer than to try to write them. If I had to write long hand, I probably wouldn't do them!

Because the Cullens are just the coolest and they sparkle.

Kraft Dinner. Canada's national food.

Funny enough, the TT's love ramen noodles but they cook them oddly or, in the case of TT3, eat them raw. I've eaten so many ramen noodles over the years that I couldn't stand to eat them anymore but recently had a hankering, so had some. What was amusing about it was that TT2 was impressed with my ability to make ramen noodles. Gee, one only need follow the instructions on the package.

But I used to dress up my ramen noodles. If there were left over vegetables in the house or something from the previous night's dinner, I'd toss it in with my noodles. Practically gourmet then!

Haven't had boxed macaroni and cheese in a long while. We make it home made now and I much prefer it to the boxed stuff, but yea....I ate a LOT of boxed macaroni and cheese for years and years when I was single.

Friendship
One thing I learned from my first marriage and subsequent divorce was that it's really important to be each other's best friend. My ex and I never were. We barely spent any time together. I always felt really envious of my friends who said they had married their best friend because I hadn't.

Then I met Angel and we are best friends. I know I can talk to Angel about anything and vice versa. We enjoy spending time together and share common interests. We always cheer each other on, cheer each other up and are just generally there for one another.

It makes a world of difference to have a strong bond of friendship. It might seem like a "duh" type thing, but it amazes me how many couples I see who do not have a good friendship or are even friends at all.

Humour
A sense of humour is also really important. You know the saying about families that play together stay together? There's something to that. But it's not just about playing it's also about being able to laugh at yourself and sometimes just the ridiculousness of situations, especially if you're having a row. Being able to see the humour in things and in life really does help.

Apologise
After a while it seems people get frustrated in marriage or in their relationship and they forget that they need to pick their battles instead of always insisting they're right. So apologising it something that has to be done on a regular basis. I know sometimes I'm doing it through gritted teeth or I'm apologising in a way that doesn't necessarily say I think I'm wrong, but I still do it. It's good to be humble sometimes, especially if you're arguing about something stupid. It's also important to know that saying you're sorry buys you another chance. You still have to follow through. Don't say you're sorry and then keep doing whatever it is you said you were sorry for.

Time
Another "duh" type thing, but make time for one another. There will always be jobs and/or kids and/or pets and/or the busy-ness of life, but always take time out for each other. A relationship takes nurturing and the best way to do that is to make time for one another to do the things you enjoy doing together.

I have long been environmentally conscious but a few years ago as I finished my first year of training as a Priestess of the Goddess, I vowed that I would make a concerted effort to recycle and to live more lightly on the land in an effort to take care of Mother Earth in some small way.

Since then I faithfully recycle, even though some might consider it an inconvenience (I must save up my recycling and take it to a recycling centre - there's one just across the street from where I live) and I do many other things. I use environmentally friendly cleaning products like Ecover. I use public transport rather than owning a car (I couldn't afford a car anyway in London!). I'm more conscious about the food I buy and try to buy mostly local or at the very least British produce so as to reduce the amount miles my food has clocked up. Angel and I now have an allotment garden now so are growing quite a few of our own vegetables. I use low watt light bulbs and keep lights low or off as much as possible to reduce electricity use.

I don't profess to be perfect and I'm not pushy about it with other people. There are probably a lot of other things I and others could do to help the environment. We all do our parts, what we feel we can do and every little bit helps.

Angel
Alternatively though, and more seriously, I wouldn't mind being stuck in a lift with my husband. With the kids around us all the time, we don't often get time alone and it would be a strange but welcome gift to have time alone together.

To be honest, I'll probably move to Glastonbury before I retire and whether money is an object or not. I know it's coming. I've received that message from Goddess.

I've vacillated a lot about moving to Glastonbury. I spend so much time there and I am unquestionably drawn to it. It a source of my spirituality and provides me the spiritual nourishment I need. I don't want that to change. I don't want the mundane to creep in and taint my view and my feelings about Glastonbury.

However, there is no question that Glastonbury, as Avalon, is in me now; in my very essence and being without it is like being without food or air. It's also been made clear to me that I am needed there and when the time is right I will go.

So I've resigned myself to it. Unless another place comes along which takes Glastonbury's place, which I think is highly unlikely, then this will all change. I don't believe it will.

Gloria Gaynor by I Will Survive

No question, this is THE classic song-to-help-you-get-over-a-breakup. Is there really any other? I suppose so, but it's a matter of personal taste. But no matter what, this is the song that will live through the ages as the one that imparts strength and a sense of hope for the future.

Nuffink
""Nuffink" is how some Londoners say "nothing". It's the result or part of or whatever a dialect called Estuary English. Estuary English is the UK's answer to the US' Ebonics. It drives me fucking batshit every time I hear it which unfortunately is often. I wish I had a pound for every time I have had an upset client on the phone saying, "I got a lett-uh from yous a momf ago and since then I've not heard nuffink." So let's see, we've got several missing consonants, a few added consonants and a double negative to boot there.

It is especially bad with people who live in Essex. VERY bad. It seems generally accepted by folks but I just can't figure out why. It makes people sound stupid and uneducated. Then you get those people who mix the Estuary English dialect with the Ebonics dialect and OH MY GODS it makes me want to clean my ears out with an icepick.

So as you may have guessed by now, I have a hate/hate relationship with "nuffink". Given this, one must wonder why I named a category "nuffink". I guess it's just me trying to humourise it in some way so that I don't go barking mad every time I hear it."

Addendum posted 25th April 2008: -
"As an addendum, nuffink got nixed as a category because humourising didn't work!"

Had I had it my way, we would have moved quite quickly. We needed to store things, clean the place up a bit and get it up for sale. I knew the market was falling. I watch these trends for work.

But NO....too many cooks spoiled the soup. Before I knew it, winter had turned to spring, spring had turned to summer and so on and to date we are still no closer to getting this place sold. We've not made much effort to the past few months before because of the terrible market and it being likely we are in negative equity. Hence you've got a family of four stuck in cramped conditions. We manage. We have a roof over our heads. So we're not complaining....too much. It is what it is.

Fortunately there is a light on the horizon and we may well be moving to a bigger place by summer. I'd rather not jinx it by giving details just yet but it's looking highly probable. It's good news. In the meantime, the living conditions doth sucketh.

But after thinking about it long and hard, I realised the answer was likely right in front of me: Sweet Track.

It's not a building but more a landmark. It's an ancient causeway built during the Neolithic period (somewhere around the 39th century BC) which either linked or went through the lake villages of the time. Unless one knows what one is looking at and walking upon, it might not seem much other than just another trail through a marshy area. For certain though, Sweet Track, to me, was one of the most magickal places I've ever visited and where I felt most connected to Avalon.

To get the full effect, I recommend also visiting the Lake Village Museum on the High Street in Glastonbury which houses many of the artifacts which were found in the lake village areas on the Somerset Levels.

Second in line, as far as buildings are concerned, would probably be Stonehenge, which I've seen a couple times now. Never ceases to be a special place.

But we're talking about me today! The ones that I have that come to mind are:-

1. I have a small scar on my brow bone on my right eye. The thing about this one is I have absolutely no memory of getting it. According to my mother I was about 3 (which might explain some of why I don't remember it) and I was running to my room, missed the door somehow and smacked into the door frame. I must have hit it pretty hard because she said I passed out and there was blood gushing everywhere, which might also explain the memory loss as well. In hindsight she said I probably should have had stitches but she never took me to see a doctor and just let it heal up on it's own. It's quite small now so unless one is looking for it, it's likely to get missed.

2. I've got a weird circular scar on my left arm from a vaccination apparently. Again must've been quite young when I had it as I have no memory of it. My sister had one just like it.

3. My third scar is on my left index finger. Happened in summer 1992. It's a bit of a story but the nutshell version is I had a blender accident trying to fix a blender. Sliced my finger open quite good and had to rush to the hospital to get it stiched up. I think I had something like 13 or 14 stitches. Might have been more than that. It went the entire length of my finger. I obviously severed nerve endings because my finger was numb for quite a long time. To this day I still don't have 100% feeling in that finger although the scar has shrunk quite a lot now and I do have full mobility.

Can't think of any others unless one wants to count my stretch marks received during pregnancy. Oh sure, they fade but never 100% go away. I still have some about unfortunately. No other scars that I can think of! I feel I've been pretty lucky throughout life in that respect.