This year will be different for a slew of reasons. Most notably, I will be moving to my own place, moving countries and starting my first full time job since I graduated. Hopefully I will be happier.

Biting the bullet, moving to Brno in the Czech Republic and starting a new job is my self prescribed shot in the arm, or kick up the backside, for my life.
2011 was a year of highs and lows, I graduated, discovered my prefered career, emotionaly broke down and then slowly rebuilt myself with help from a few of my closest friends.

Unfortunately some of those friends are far away and out of touch now. Soon some of them will be further away as I move about 1200 km across Europe,because I decided to make it harder than necessary for myself.

Several small events throughout the last couple of years have changed my habits either a little bit or a lot. Having to reorganise my stuff and reorder my priorities, or simply altering my habits in small ways, has resulted in large changes to my mental landscape. The swirling mass of uncertainty of last year is largely gone as a result.

When I graduated I was at a crossroads in my life and looking at bleak prospects as either a journalist, museum assistant or cog in the government machine. Coupled with strong feelings of loneliness and anxiety, this was a depressing situation to be in.The first 6 months of the year were pretty much this.

The second half of the year was much better as I laid the foundations for my move abroad. Some volunteering, traveling, new friends, and additional training equiped me for a new life and now it is about to start.

The other thing that will be different this year is that hopefully I will start writing regularly again, despite having several casual writing jobs, a blog and plenty of things to write about I have found it hard to summon the enthusiasm to start tapping away. I want to keep going, continue my film features, news stories and personal stuff, as well as starting a new blog where I will talk about my new career and expat life. Not sure when that will happen as I will be stressed out over the next couple of weeks with stuff.

Good luck with 2012 everyone. :)

This aught to be interesting...
1989: Come back in a few years when I am capable of higher brain functions

1993: A smattering of memories, my main feeling was confusion with a dash of curiosity.

1994: I wore a tiny suit for a wedding, last memories of most relatives outside of immediate family.

1995: Brother was born, didn't take to him at first

1996: First recollection of any mention of football and first instance of interest,
or disinterest in different songs I heard on the radio, I suppose I lost the tin ear of youth.

1997: Was that the year those star wars films came out again? If so then I remember my eight year old self appreciating those.

1998: Election was year beofre but living under Labour was a thing around this time.

1999: Second year of Primary school, starting to shrink from the world.

2000: People yelling happy new year out of car windows well into March,
maybe my first full appreciation of life other than the routine I was used to.

2001: Moved to secondary school, started to not enjoy myself.

2002: Time trudged slowly on, starting to feel angry.

2003: Endless routine of school brightened occasionally by distractions like sitting in my room listening to music with headphones on really loudly to block everything out.

2004: Really hating everything, school is horrible, social awkwardness created by posh Christian all boys school really getting me down, took out anger by joining school rifle club and being awesome at something for once.

2005: Ascended beyond hate to pure lack of care. Got into trouble at school and probably started to make people uncomfortable at my mental development. Also, freedom from that fucking school.

2006: A-level college, social awkwardness remained but helpful and friendly staff were turning it around for me. Starting to feel that Classics was the path for me

2007: First girlfriend, learnt a lot. Also first seveer backlash against attempts to come out of my shell and thoughts of suicide.

2008: Gap Year, hadn't caught travelling bug yet, probably as a backlash against being sunburnt so many times as a child on trips to Italy. Still not really sure what to do with myself or aware that I could take steps in life without having to ask for confirmation. Experience of the workplace and different people really helped me start to come out and be a regular, happy guy.

2009: Fresher at Uni, full independence led to an awesomely self destructive and unproductive year until near the end when it went downhill fast. Luckily the grades were good.

2010: Sucky second year, back to the grind of work and no life as I had a backlash against my poor habits in first year. Highlight of first extended trip abroad (to Bulgaria and Romania) and new desire to leave England, travel and generally do adventurous stuff.

2011: Been ok so far, fully out of my shell and ready to rock! Romania has been a big part of my year this year, probably my favourite country of all that I have seen, can't wait to go back.

Ok some of those were waaaay longer than sentences but I feel they made up for the early years when I had nothing much going on.

I blog therefore I am.

Simply put, I write a blog so that the thoughts I have day to day while walking around or experiencing something in particular do not simply drift away and end up forgotten. If I think they are worth expanding, mainly for my own benefit, then I will write them down.

I love abandoned buildings. I cannot resist a visit whether it is because I wish to live out my childhood fantasies of exploring ruins and fighting ghosts, or simply indulge my adult interests by exploring old ruins: Imagining what they were like and what could be done with them, as well as engaging in some slightly dangerous gymnastics around the ruined features.

I still do find them a bit creepy, but in a good way I guess. The sense of excitement at the unknown and the possibility of a cool discovery keep me interested in old buildings despite the feelings of being watched, or the breeze making unsettling noises through the broken windows, or any number of other spooky coincidences.

Once I explored an old hotel complex in Bulgaria that had laid in ruin for about 50 years. It was fascinating to see the old basement bath complex with big tiled hot tubs, overgrown and mostly smashed up. Looking through the broken windows and admiring what remained of the art painted onto the walls, which was supposed to appeal to children and be funny and happy, but the new context had given them a much creepier tone.

The more recently graffiti, post abandonment, was also interesting to read, mostly depressed teenagers writing about their lives and other things they hate on the walls.

After dodging some large holes and working my way around a balcony or two to look out over the rest of the town and countryside I made may way into the smaller building which was once home to some of the rooms. Tell tale signs like sinks and occasional rusted and bent bed-frames, as well was the uniform size of the rooms, gave away the buildings purpose.

The most spooky thing that happened the whole time was caused by a bat which, after sensing me, shrieked and flew around the small room it had found itself in, trying to fly out but being too high, and probably blinded in the daylight, to find the window. Otherwise there was just a general feeling of sadness created by the depressing graffiti, the broken glass and rubble and the noise it made when it was trudged over, and the light wind rushing through the many holes in the buildings structure and playing with the multitude of climbing plants and trees that had taken advantage of the abandonment to move in themselves.

I would love to go back to that house and see it reborn as a luxury spa or hotel but I doubt it will ever be realised. As no-one is taking responsibility for it it will likely remain a ruin for some time to come.

No I do not believe that money can buy happiness, but I do believe it can buy freedom from worry.

Can it bring your passed on pets, family and friends back? No (well, not yet) Can it make you a super hero or transform you into the perfect person? No (at least, not by itself)

Money can make people happy through ownership of material possessions, lifestyles and privileges, but money itself cannot make a person happy.

If you never have to worry about your money running out you can look your best, be at your best physical status, live where you want, travel to where ever you want, spend your time in any way you want. These things will make you happy, but the currency used to obtain these possessions and experiences will not.

I do not wish to be rich, I simply wish to never have to worry about money again. In some ways these are the same thing, having a fat sack of cash will remove your worries about not being able to pay for the good and services you want, but it could also mean a stable income that is significant enough to afford me a comfortable life, in exchange for a job I enjoy doing.

If I have the time to do the things I enjoy, the opportunity and ability to meet and pursue a relationship with a girl I want to be with, if I am able to make myself feel confident and contented whenever I desire then I will feel that I have enough money to be happy.

So I guess the really answer is time, having time can make a person happy, and much like time is money, money is time. Time to enjoy the company of others, time to do things that cannot, and should not, be taken for granted. Opportunities also are good things that money can give, if you can see them and seize them of course.

Hoarding money will not make a person happy, using it will. The ultimate happiness is realising that something else is actually the goal you want to pursue in life and being able to do so because you don't have to worry about the means, just the method.

It makes me very sad to say that I am almost all the way down the abandoned puppy, guilty eight year old end of the scale and I avoid eye contact with everyone except those whom I already know to be my friends, sometime even them (sorry).

I have been challenged on it by a couple of people and most of the time when I am walking down the street I feel stupid for doing it bit I cannot seem to overcome my awkwardness. Most people seem to do it back to be so that fine, but its when I am simultaneously shrinking from someone's gaze and trying to pass them on a pavement next to a busy street that I feel at my worst.

Much like a magnet repelling one of the same pole, my cone of vision is repelled easily by those of others. It is an incredible effort of will to maintain contact with someone I don't know for long enough to show I am not a reclusive shut in on a rare visit to the outside world. I like to walk around town and interact with other people a lot but I risk the self hatred that I feel whenever I feel myself backing away from eye contact and making a fool out of myself for the ten seconds the other person will remember me for.

Often I double the power of my stay-away signals with an Ipod cranked up to volume that I can hear above traffic and, as a consequence, everyone else can hear enough of to be worthy of comment.

As a result of my eye avoidance I have probably caused myself some long term neck damage as despite its adequate strength and ability at keeping my head up I choose to avert my gaze downward when others approach.

Also, I never notice anyone I do know when I pass them in the street because I deliberately do not take in such information, almost always it is they who have to shout me out of my inward looking mode and start the conversation, for which I am infinitely grateful to them.

I am very observant of scenes and objects but people, under normal circumstances, do not invite inspection from me. I would probably not be a good witness for the prosecution if a crime happened on the street I was awkwardly making my way down at the time.

If you see me in the street, say hello, don't be too happy about it, just be normal and I will respond and be eternally grateful to you for helping me come out of myself on that occasion. I love people a lot, but I am not going to be staring them down until they accept me...

At first I thought yes, for sure! This was because I would then know if any of my career aspirations take place. Would I be a respected writer working for several interesting publications and having a great time working at my own pace? Would I be a qualified CELTA English teacher working abroad in Eastern Europe of South-East Asia? Would I be a cultural heritage technician, working with historical agencies and NGOs across the country and the world to create new and exciting exhibitions and insights into history?

After all this fantasising I eventually opted for no, but it was a heard choice. Simply put, the nature of time may make knowing the future too disruptive. What if I saw that I did fulfil one of several of my dreams in the future. I would then spend all my time either waiting for the events that take me there to happen, and miss them, or look everywhere for how to ensure I reach the future divined for me, and miss everything else.

Conversely, if I saw a less than ideal future ahead of me, would I take steps to avoid it, only to find that I unwittingly led to my sorry older self through my actions and events beyond my control.

Being able to see the future assumes that fate has already divined a future for you. Before taking the plunge and seeing what was in store for me I would have to know if what I saw was my future based on my life now, or my future no matter what. If it was the former I would be happy to see it as it would either let me know I am on the right track or that I need some adjustments.

However I cannot fathom how this would be the case because this vision of the future would require the diviner to have knowledge of every decision I am likely to make or have made, every path I am currently on my way down, how likely I am to fail or succeed at every activity, character trait, and every outcome of every situation based on a million different variables, most of which are locked up inside my head. This seems unlikely, even if I suspend my disbelief enough to accept that my future can be seen ahead of time. Even ifit were possible it would only be a statistical probability, not certainty.

So the other option is what fate has allotted to me. The one of infinite possible futures that the dice will definitely land on. The possibility of this being the case is not out of the question as without knowing your future you don't know if anything you do is progressing you towards it or not, and so cannot take steps to change your fate. So, once you know of this fate, how far will the fabric of time bend before it is ruptured.

A very good Terry Pratchett novel called Night Watch deals with this issue in an interesting way. It involves two characters being transported through time by a freak accident which eventually turns out to be Time's way of ensuring things happen, or appear to be happening, in just the right way to ensure that the present is exactly as it is. One of the characters disrupts history but the Time knows that the other will be able to fill in the gap and keep history on the allotted path, even if he does so unknowingly.

So, transferring this idea to our future, would my attempts to change the vision of my fate simply result in events that put things back as they were? Or would history shift to accommodative my prior knowledge of my fate and my new found ability to break out. Would time/fate be able to handle that? Or is the plan so intricate and so delicate that one card out of place brings the whole house crashing down? What would that involve, would the universe collapse because of me deciding not to take one job over another because I know which I am destined to take? I highly doubt it.

I believe firmly that there is no plan or fate for the reasons I have outlined above, what ever you choose to do, say, think, decide or not do, wherever you go or don't do, whoever you meet or don't meet, is all filling out your life wht all the necessary components for fulfilment and happiness, sometimes it is hard and sometimes happiness doesn't seem to be the end goal of the situation you have found yourself in, but you will likely see it in perspective once you are out the other end.

Whenever my plans change last minute, or something happens that I know wouldn't have happened had I done something different weeks before, I don't think fate, I think that every where is a path to be walked down and everything has an opportunity, however small, within it. We are all sums of our experiences throughout life, as well as some genetic predispositions, and if you are happy, why wonder about what could have happened or what was destined before that big event changed everything. Just live it. If you aren't happy, just change it, it can be that easy.

According to my blog the answer would be film, as many of my early posts are film focused and they still pop up from time to time.

However the answer is actually much more tough for me to decide on. I love film but I have sat through some boring stuff for the purposes of review. Food on the other hand would likely be a better experience simply because I get to choose what I eat and I can't imagine that any food would be as bad as some of the films I have watched.

Most films are a solitary experience, with only some post-credits discussion, however, eating out is often a social experience and one which I enjoy having. For that reason reviewing films can often feel like work while eating out is likely never to feel like a grind in the same fashion. It would also give me more of a desire to exercise regularly as being paid to eat just sounds like something that shouldn't be done. I already keep myself in shape but any excuse to expand my routine and join a gym, and then be able to go in work hours while it is quiet, would be much appreciated.

As for book criticism, I read at such a glacial pace that I think burning through books for review would be too unnatural for me. Also, the amount I would feel like I have to consider when reading a book, from language, story-telling skills, focus and general interest in the subject matter among other things, would make every one of my reviews read like a drab, by the numbers and scientific analysis of a books strengths and weaknesses. In a field where every book is a commitment to the reader and hence merely faint praise is equivalent to damnation I would turn out a lot of unproductive reviews which would delight no one but people who already know what they want to read about.

I like books but not enough to claim to be able to tell others what to read. I love film and do think I can make some interesting opinions from my experiences but my heart is in writing about lifestyle and food is a part of that. Hobbies and such like films and games and books can be left to those who are immersed in them already. Give me a couple of years and I may consider myself among that number.

VIA Tablet PC Reference Design

I predict the death of the standard PC. By standard I mean the off the shelf types that retails for only a few hundred a piece. High end PCs will likely still be a viable product but a niche one, much as it is now.

So why do I predict this? Tablet computing has advanced significantly over the last few years from nothing at all to a convenient and intuitive way to do most of the same stuff that PCs can do, all while the user is on the go. At the rate the technology is progressing it is likely that soon the dependence on PCs as the hubs of peoples media libraries and work stations will be removed.

As for the effect on the computer industry, well, retailers of average build PCs already struggle to make a profit on their sale as prices drop faster than the cost of production. The high level of competition in the market and the new tablet encroachment have both factored in to this. Tablets are the new shiny expensive toy and PCs are too cumbersome. It is strange to think that once it was flat screens replacing CRTs and simple towers replacing huge, room-filling monster machines. Now it is going another step and the PC market is starting to see that it needs to progress in order to stay profitable.

What needs to happen to complete the tablet takeover? Tablets will probably have to become as dynamic as PCs, if not as powerful. The power race is practically over what with super-fast internet and browser based activities taking up most users time, and very few PCs nowadays are what we remember as 'slow' from a few years ago. Right now Apple is seeking to control the market with the Ipad, this would be a disastrous turn of events as then our media consumption and work flow would be at the mercy of one company. Luckily there is competition with Samsung taking the lead, if not in market share, but certainly in quality.

If we were to live in an ipad world the freedom currently enjoyed by internet users, for better or worse, would cease to exist. In order for most users to accept tablets over PCs they would need to be as free as PCs are now, and not as heavily restricted by the software. Apple don't like flash but it allows users to make use of applications within browsers that they can't control, sanitise or sell, directly to the user themselves. I imagine the population at large would happily bend over and fit into the corporate box but a large enough segment would demand more freedom, and this would lead to competition in the market and, probably at first, a lot of incompatibility. However, tablets for work and tablets for play will likely be separate concerns much as PCs are today.

This shift would likely be the final nail in the coffin for CDs, DVDs and Blu-Rays as few of them are likely to contain a Disc drive. However some semblance of the PC work station may remain with the tablet fitting into a station where disc drives, tangible keyboards and such can be attached temporarily, as well as allowing the user to work with the tablet at a desk without having to both hold th device and operate it.

So maybe the PC market wont die, it will just become more slim lined. I for one do not build PCs or write code or care much for getting too involved in PC use from the user side, but I fear the PC equivalent of the Patriot act and do not want to see the corporate end remove any possibility of this freedom from the user. I can only hope that the shift to tablets is not too destructive and we come out the other side pretty much the same, just with less additional mess like wires and discs, and a lot more convenience without exchanging our freedom.