I can't say enough wonderful things about my latest book, Owl's Rump. It's a heartwarming story about a young possum (or opossum, if you prefer,) nicknamed Owl by his siblings because he is nearsighted and spends all his time reading, so as a result he knows a great many things about a great many things, but he is sorely lacking in experience in the great big world, so when he finds himself through a series of missteps wandering about in the Dark Woods after dark, he relies on his wits and the knowledge he has gleaned from his reading to puzzle his way through adventures and, ultimately, to home and a new sense of identity, maturity and self-respect. Without giving too much of the plot away, I can reveal that the rump refers to Owl's own tuckus, which is subjected to repeated explorations by increasingly large and frightening Night Creatures who, again, without giving too much of the plot away, have their way with our poor possum, often more than once, bringing him to the unwonted and unexpected realization that the Great Big World is not always as benign as Owl's books would have him believe, and also the realization that the Dark Woods in the dark are not a good place, especially for a naive and nearsighted possum, and, of course, also to the realization that – well, perhaps that should be left for the reader to discover when he or she buys this marvelous book! We must keep one surprise, at least! Owl's Rump does not yet have a publisher, though I have submitted it to all the big names in young adult publishing, and in spite of its cute and yet shining prose and insightful allegory, and I have to say I've been a little surprised by how quickly most have expressed their lack of interest. With the right publisher, and perhaps with some delightfully ambiguous illustrations, this book is sure to fly off the shelves faster than you could say "Watership Down meets Coming of Age means The. Next. Blockbuster!" I've already started to lay plans for the book tour, and I'm starting work on a screenplay – I've never written one before, but with a story like this it just writes itself. I picture Daniel Radcliffe in the title role, with considerable makeup to make him look like a possum, and a variety of actors as the creatures in the Dark Woods. It's going to be a major movie hit, I just know it.

I'm old-fashioned – I like the morning paper. I page through it, front to back, reading more in the first section, next to nothing in the sports section. I read most of the weekly science section, and most of the op-ed page. The paper surprises me with things I wasn't looking for, and I put a high value on those serendipitous finds. Could neutrinos actually travel faster than light? What would that mean to our understanding of the universe? (The bartender says, "we don't serve faster-than-light particles in here." A neutrino walks into a bar.) Could that candidate honestly believe that evolution is a false theory or that global warming is not the result of human actions? What does that say about his or her intelligence, judgment and ability to lead? (Too sad for jokes.) That new cell phone is pretty remarkable. Is the company that makes it a good investment? The only part of the paper that leaves me cold is the sports section – I just don't care whether the sports team from my area beat the sports team from your area. If they did, I hope the people watching the game enjoyed the show, but I also hope they don't feel in some way better than the spectators from the other team's area. (How does the world-series-winning pitcher change a light bulb? He holds it up and the world revolves around him.) Finally, I have to ask how the news world is changing with the influence of television and the Internet. TV news has shortened news stories to five or six sentences – count them in the next news cast you watch. The choice of images has an enormous impact on the message of the story, and the tone of the reporter puts a subtle spin on every word. On the Internet, we only look at the stories we click on – we have to take action to read more than a headline. I think on average the population takes in less news today than twenty years ago, and we are strongly influenced by non-verbal elements than we realize. I'm sticking with the newspaper.

The best of both worlds is my marvelous vintage device – a pocket-sized note-taker that carries a roll of adding machine thermal paper. You can write notes on the 2" screen using the twelve-key cellphone-style keyboard, and, if you want a paper record of the note, you can then print it out on the paper dot-matrix style. You synchronize the 8 Kb memory with your computer using the proprietary cable, and it fits handily in a bag or briefcase. The rechargeable battery powers it for two or three days, unless you print a lot. My friends tout their phones with voice memos and cloud-based note systems. They laugh when I use my Message-o-matic, but I say when you find something that works, you stick with it. My only complaint is that there are fewer and fewer pay phones around. What's up with that?