- hello Maebelena
- Username: Maebelena
- In response to: "What was the comfort food you enjoyed most growing up?" Chocolate, as cliche as that sounds. I prefer dark chocolate to milk chocolate though. And people who know me don't even try to offer white chocolate. Never liked the stuff.
- Maebelena's latest answers
- What My Possessions Say About Me
My Books/My Beloved Library Card
I love reading mystery, fantasy, adventure, paranormal and action books. For some reason though, I'm more comfortable reading children's books compared to young adult's/adult's books. Needless to say (but I'll say it anyway), I am a dreamer, a lover of stories and adventure. They can also symbolize my want of knowledge, particularly in biology, physics and chemistry. On a side note, I've recently just finished reading Ender's Game. 'Twas awesome.
We all love music, don't we? There are genres, artists and bands we adore and others that don't actually suit our tastes. Well, I've never met anyone who hates music in general. Anyway, my guitar can symbolize my (more than the usual person's) love for music and my drive and willingness to learn new things just because I want to.
My Box of Tea
I connect tea with relaxation and calm, something that people say I usually am. A friend once told me that if there was an earthquake, I'd probably be the only person in my class not screaming my head off while ducking for cover. Of course, I won't actually be all calm if there ever was going to be a cataclysmic catastrophe taking place, but yeah, I'd probably be one of the people least panicked.
The Water in My Water Bottle
I don't like overreaction. I mean, it's okay when people overreact to things in a good way but there are times when overreaction causes problems. I don't like fights. I don't like it when I have to deal with people who seem to be ready to chop off someone else's head off. It just disturbs me. Like how the water in my bottle is disturbed when I shake it and roll it around. The water sets down after a while and just like that, I value peace and tranquility. Um... I'm probably not making sense right now.
My Family and Friends
Well, for a lot of people, the family can influence a person the most. I'm one of those people. I am who I am today because of my dad, my mom, my little sister and little brothers. We see and acknowledge each others' strengths and try to help each other improve when we see weaknesses. We squabble and fight and disagree at times but we become better people afterwards. The same thing goes for my friends. I may not actually have many, but I think it's the quality that counts.
- Childhood Friends
There was a time when I was very close with three of my cousins. We were childhood playmates, always messing around with everyone, the old people, the little kids in the family and even messing around with each other. We always found something to laugh about, always discovered and played games to amuse each other, always was so open and trusting, not caring about what others thought (even among ourselves) and not doubting each other. We even invented a cheesy group name for ourselves that sounded like something out of a comic book. We were best friends.
We also were kids whose parents had jobs in different cities, different countries. We didn't get to see each other for months, sometimes even years. I knew that things could change, that people could change. I didn't expect such drastic changes though. There was a time when the four of us hadn't come together for two years, and two years can change a person a lot, especially if that person was a kid. They looked so different physically that I worried that maybe it wasn’t just the appearances that changed. I panicked so after greeting everyone I fled. I spent the day in my room, reading myself to exhaustion and only coming out to eat with everyone during lunch and dinner and going to the toilet. I wasn’t a very social person (and still am today) so I could have spent my whole vacation time that way. The next day though, the youngest of the group called me out and asked me to play cards with them. I told him no but he kept on insisting, saying that poker was no fun with only three players. I felt obliged so I went and played. I was a bit nervous at first but then I started to see that not everything changed after all and the vacation we had that year was a blast.
The next year generally started and ended in the same way as the last, with me isolating myself and with the others pulling me back and fixing the group. Those days were filled with happiness but a lot of things had changed as well. We were more cautious with our words than usual. The jokes and jabs we threw at each other weren’t as harmless as before. We had other interests. I asked my eldest cousin to play a board game with me one day and he did play with me. While we were playing chess though, he asked me if I wasn’t tired of playing ‘these games’. I said no and asked him why he asked such a question. He proceeded to lecture me in a joking way about the things that come with growing up. ‘One day, the things you used to love to do just… bore you,’ he said. I scrunched my face and stuck out my tongue. ‘You’re just saying that ‘cause you’re about to lose,’ I said as I moved in for checkmate. He laughed at me and I laughed too, but in my thoughts was a frustrating question. Do the people you’re most close to bore you too when you grow up?
In the next two years, the family became a little shaky. There were problems about money and space and responsibility and everything else and the grown-ups fought. They were being subtle but anyone could feel the anger, sadness and pain in the tense house. Things in the house grew… quiet and strange. I’ve always been the one isolating myself out of the group but at that time… It seemed like no one cared. I was angry, confused and sad. Nobody seemed to care, so why should I care? I did nothing.
After a few years, things have settled down. But, of course, things aren’t the same as before. The group still talks and plays games but… The perfect connection, the trust and friendship is now strained.
I was mad at the adults. It’s not my fault, it’s not my cousins’ fault that they had problems and were fighting. Even though my cousins and I had nothing to do with anything, the fights were doing damage. They were making everything awkward. They were making our friendship more strained.
I was mad at my cousins. Why wasn’t anyone doing anything? Why aren’t they talking? That’s what I do. I’m the anti-social girl in the group. You guys know me. I can’t do what you do. It’s not my job to talk to people and mend things up.
I was mad at everyone but right now, thinking back… I’m mad at myself the most. What if I had done things differently? What if I did talk? What if I did try to fix the group? The answer to the question, ‘Should I have tried something?’ is crystal clear to me now. Of course I should have tried. My efforts could have been rewarding. The group could have bonded more tight than ever, with nothing ever breaking us apart. My efforts could have failed too. The most important thing that would have mattered, though, was that I tried.