- hello Maggie Mason
- Username: Maggie
- In response to: "What's the one thing you're never gonna give up?" You. Nor will I let you down.
- Maggie's latest answers
- Danity Kane will get my back
When I need to assemble a gang of street toughs, and I need to do it fast, I turn to professionals. As usual, Sean "P. Diddy" Combs has anticipated a market for frenzied, murderous song-and-dance crews, and has conveniently assembled Danity Kane.
These girls have it all -- doe eyes, gams that go all the way up, and a volatile helping of latent rage. Plus, they already have matching silver-lamé cutout leotards. So, timesaver.
I know what you're thinking; the ladies can't exactly dance. But what they lack in dance talent, they make up for in heart. And the desire to bathe in your arterial blood.
- Zombies! An Eight-Step Plan
2. Crowdsource a Costco takeover.
3. Secure entrances.
4. Neutralize Costco undead in increasingly cinematic ways, using only products at hand.
5. Clean off that food processor. We might want to use it later.
6. Set up Wifi.
7. Update Facebook status.
8. Organize a yoga class.
- It's almost always Sexy
I was having a drink on the patio in the tourist district of Boston, watching the wildlife with a guy friend. Every girl who passed us was kitt…
- First Kiss At the Junior High Dance
We were eleven. He was born on the same day as me, at the same hospital, delivered by the same doctor. When we finally met, I was the anxious new girl in his eighth grade homeroom.
He was shorter than me, a lot shorter, like all the boys back then, and neither one of us was cool. Apparently I was a little less cool than him, because we'd been meeting at a neighborhood park for a while, and he wanted to keep it a secret.
We were at a school dance, and it was the last song -- a saxophone-laden ballad by George Michael. We'd been hugging at the end of every slow song, so I was confused when he pushed me back a little and then leaned toward me.
His kiss landed on my cheek, on the soft skin just below my eye and above my cheekbone. He barely touched me; half my face lit up.
Walking out to the car where my mom was waiting, I could feel that spot glowing. Mom took me to the McDonald's drive-thru for soft-serve butterscotch sundaes with crushed peanuts on top. I was uncharacteristically silent, every bit of me was distilled into that one point where his lips had brushed me. Lovely.
- My bucket list starts with: Be conversational in seven languages.
I have a life list with a hundred items, which you'll find in the left sidebar if you're reading this on Mighty Girl. Here's a handful of them:
Be conversational in seven languages.
For one, this is just a badass, super-spy thing to do. Nothing is hotter than the pasty redhead who surprises you by speaking Mandarin with the cab driver. (Except maybe the busty blonde who surprises you by speaking Mandarin with the cab driver. We'll have to settle this with mud wrestling.)
Anyway, when I learned Spanish it changed how I thought. I had less access to irony and sarcasm, a greater tolerance for old-fashioned romance. It's hard to sound cheesy in Spanish.
Language shapes our perception so fundamentally that we don't even know it's happening. Learning a new language teaches you another point of view, one that's been honed over thousands of years by millions of people. It's the deepest way to access another culture.
Go on a multi-day biking trip.
Like many writers, I don't consider myself athletic. I was the kid picked last at kickball, the kid who never played soccer, the kid who died a little on dodgeball days.
So screw that. I never tried, which makes for an automatic fail. Now seems like a good time to put down the book and get off my ass. And I like bikes.
Do a "10 Things You Don't Know About Women" feature for Esquire
Are they even doing these any more? I just realized that this month's issue doesn't have one, and I can't remember seeing one for the last few months either. Shit.
Give $100 to a violin-playing busker.
Mostly, buskers irritate me. But if I hear a violin when I step off the train, it makes my whole day. I got $100 worth of two-dollar bills at the bank for just this purpose. Now I just need to spend a few days on the subway.
Lemonade on the front porch swing, warm summer night.
I can't believe I've never done this. Friends, that's no way to go.