- hello Mary Fletcher Jones
- Username: MaryFletcherJones
- In response to: "What was the comfort food you enjoyed most growing up?" Potato salad sandwiches
- MaryFletcherJones's latest answers
- Do you follow your heart or your head?
Arghh, wish I were not such an emotionally driven person. If I stopped to think more, my life would have been less complicated.
On the other hand, it has not been boring.
The two men I married and divorced -- those were both heart decisions. The first one, I never think about. The second one did not make sense to marry, but I did love him. Now that we are divorced -- which was another heart decision -- I have time to look back. And if I were using my head, I'm not sure I would have divorced him. He made me very unhappy, sure, but if I had used my head, maybe I could have turned it around. I don't know. With divorce you never really know.
Oh that is not completely true. With my first marriage, divorce was definitely the right thing to do! That was the smartest decision I made. I don't hate him, I am just very, very glad I am not married to him anymore.
But husband #2, I still care for. Maybe because we have a child together, and also because the vulnerability he showed that first drew me to him is still there, under his protective shell. Again -- the heart! But today is his birthday, and I would have given anything just to give him a hug.
I am sure it will all work out. Zebras don't change their stripes, as they say, and for better or worse, I will probably always follow my heart.
- The Weirdest Food I've Ever Eaten
When I was a child, I ate all kinds of peanut butter sandwiches that I don't think I would eat again. It's odd, the things I craved as a child. I ate peanut butter and pickle relish sandwiches a lot, also peanut butter and mayonnaise. And peanut butter and butter. That's hard to imagine, eating that now.
- Brains or Beauty?
Going out on a limb here...
If I could choose, Plinky asks, would I rather be super intelligent or extremely good looking?
I'm going to go out on a limb here and say extremely good looking. It seems to me that good looking people (and studies bear this out, by the way) get all kinds of breaks in life -- great relationships, better jobs, better seats in restaurants, second chances, you name it.
Even beautiful children are treated better than their less comely peers.
You can have mediocre talent but be gorgeous and get ahead, whereas if you have superlative talent but not the looks to back it up, it's much hard.
It's wrong and shallow -- but I think it is how our species has evolved. Natural selection, survival of the fittest -- but it's all visual.
I think my quality of life would be better now if I had been beautiful, transient as that attribute is.
Of course, I am sure there are unhappy, lonely and lovely people on the planet. I just don't happen to have met any of them before. Whereas I have met plenty of unhappy, lonely and very smart people.
- The Most Bizarre Person I've Ever Met (Plinky Prompt)
Would have to be my dad...
I haven't met loads of strange people, but I lead a quiet life. Maybe the people I consider normal are a little bit strange. I suppose the most bizarre person I have ever met would have to be my father. He married five times and had lots of lovers. He had five children by three wives. He was an artist and pretty eccentric, also an alcoholic which contributed to all kinds of adventures and things that were romantic, I suppose, when he was younger and sad when he was older.
My mom and other people have told me stories about him that were quite strange. He was a strange man, to be sure, but women seemed to adore him. We were not close; although I would have liked to have been but he and my mom divorced when I was a baby and he really didn't seem to want that connection, although he did act reasonably affectionate -- I mean, I got a hug and sometimes a present -- the few times I did see him growing up.
The times I did see and talk to him, or write to him, as I got older, he gave me unusual advice. I could try and repeat some of the things he said, but it would be lost in translation. Let's just say he had a different way of looking at the world. Did I take his advice? I listened to it, yes, but I took my own path.
In the 60s he was a beatnik, and in the 70s would have probably been called a hippie, although he kind of defied categorization. He had an art studio that was filled with interesting, eclectic, and odd things he collected and painted.
Still you only get one father, and even if he didn't make much of an effort, he did say he loved me a couple of times and people told me he loved me. I loved him in the natural way a child would love a father, even one she didn't see very often, although when I grew older I realized our relationship was not typical.
- If I Could Relive Any Day of My Life
Dancing the night away in a stranger's arms
There are so many wonderful days, and I treasure them, but I don't want to necessarily relive them...except one.
I experienced one night of pure joy and I would love to relive that. It's not easy to explain what made it so special, but I will try.
I was in college. There was a dance. My school was known for its music, and the swing band was playing. My roommate and I wanted to go but I had nothing to wear. She had two special dresses and lent me one of hers. It fit. It had a little flounce at the hem. It was feminine and cute and I hadn't felt that pretty in months.
We dolled up and walked to the dance. The room seemed enormous. Besides the band, we were the only ones dressed up. There weren't many people there. I saw two young men that I hoped would ask us to dance. They talked to us but didn't ask us. Dancing wasn't their thing.
A young man came up and talked to me and complimented me. I knew he was gay but I don't know how I knew. Maybe I had met him at the LGBT thing or something. Anyway, the pressure was off; I did not have to "be" on or try to flirt or impress him, I suppose, the way I felt with the other young men. I relaxed and was just myself. We had a great time chatting. Then he asked me to dance. I confessed I did not know how to dance to swing music well, but he said he would help me.
He was an amazing dancer.
He just spun me all over the floor in time to the music. I hardly had to do a thing. He turned me, led me, walked me. I felt the little dress swing around my knees -- it was a gorgeous dress for dancing in. I was throwing my head back laughing with delight and amazement. I felt girly, beautiful, graceful, and even desirable in his arms. We danced until I was breathless. I saw the other boys gaping at us. It was SO much fun. I gasped, "Who taught you how to dance like this?" He smiled and told me he danced with his mother.
Honestly, it was the most fun I ever had in my life. I wish I could tell him that, and I can't even remember his name.