I used to think I could do anything if I just tried hard enough. I used to think that if I was genuinely nice and respectful and cared about someone with an unconditional love like Christ, it would win them over and make them stop being a selfish jerk to me or screwing up their lives. I used to think that I was pretty good at not judging people after what I've gone through and how hard I constantly try to stop myself from it.

I recently learned there are limits, no matter how positive I am or how hard I push myself and try; but there's always a way, and it's ok to have hope. I learned that people will be horrible for absolutely no logical reason and there's not a damn thing you can do about it; but it's still important to stand up for what's right, even when that can make your life more difficult and it would be much easier to be a doormat or shut your eyes. I learned that people can still surprise me, and even when I look below the surface and the person is obviously a loser that I have no respect for, they can turn out a better person than I am and put me to shame; but I am also still naive and need to learn that there are some people I really should just stay away from, no matter what gems of quality I find among the mess.

Dear future relative:

I am a very nostalgic person. I love looking through anything old my parents or grandparents have kept. Photo albums are interesting because our family looks crazy alike and it's cool to see the same characteristics in people who died long ago. I don't know much about anyone past the grandparents living right now. There are a couple tidbits of info I've heard, but it dawns on me once in a while that they were real people, with lives and dreams and hobbies and children. I found out my grandfather (who died before I was born) liked photography as much as I do, and would force the whole family to look at his pictures on the old-school projector and screen. (Google it, or whatever you have now). We don't have very exciting roots. I know my Grandma did a family tree on one side and we've been here since the Civil War. (Hopefully you haven't had any more of those and you know which one I mean). On my other side we came from Sweden, which is cool. I have no idea if we have any real heroes in the family.

I'm putting together a family tree so you all can have it, if you care. I really hope you do. The names and branches aren't just words - they're the huge family I grew up with and spent every holiday with. These are people I love dearly and have great memories with. I don't know what the older deceased people in the family were like, but I can tell you we are very interesting. I found out my mother wrote poetry when she was younger, and wish I could see some of it. I wonder if anyone else did anything special. You don't really think about that - granted at that time they didn't have any of the technology we have today. The most interesting they probably got was writing love letters and putting on stellar picnics. Maybe some of them traveled. Well this generation has Twitters and blogs and pictures and music. I collect everything I love that expresses me. It would blow my mind to see that kind of collection from a relative 100 years ago. I hope somehow you can see my footprint in the world and know who I was, just a little.

As far as advice goes: I have no idea how old you are or what the world is like, but some things must be the same. The generations before me made mistakes, and so have we, and I apologize for everyone ruining the planet and humanity as much as they have. A lot of people are trying to turn that around now, but who knows. I'll just say that it doesn't matter how much green is left or how much crime is up, you can be a good person who does whatever you can to make the world better. I hope you know God. I know Him, and have a lot of trouble with it sometimes, but my life would be meaningless without Him. I hope you have made good choices in life and saved yourself a lot of heartache and drama. I hope you have found/will find a soulmate like I have, and if you choose, have fantastic children who complete your life. I hope you've found a career that moves your heart so you don't die from 8-5 every day just to get by, but enjoy what you do and make a difference with it. I hope you know that I think about you and love you, and if I were alive I'd be right by your side to listen to you, and cheer you on, and give you that look (you must know the one) when you need to be kept in line.

So here's a huge hug from the past. I can only assume the world's drastically different now. If it keeps going on the track it's on, you may not have social contact with anyone in person anymore, and everything you do may be automated. So get your butt outside and sit on some grass and hug a person, ok? Trust me. Convenience is nice, and the internet is great, but you need to step back once in a while and life your life and breathe the air (hope it's still breathable). Suck on your oxygen machine - whatever. Bake some cookies for some children. And they damn well better still fly kites. Get on that.

Love,
Lindsey