this is my pomeranian puppy, lila. she found an empty pill bottle on the bathroom floor and decided that it was her friend/ nemesis. they wrestled for the better half of an hour.

i would say peeps...well, i did. however, their exclusivity to easter has been compromised for several years now. they pop up as ghosts, pumpkins, trees, heck, probably sombreros and shamrocks, and now i am not only taunted by their sugary gooeyness once a year, but year round. torture.

cheerios times three
but i prefer to eat them
only once a day

i'd lie about nothing...except maybe that i actually liked everyone in high school
you know, im not really sure that i would lie about anything. the people i am still in contact from high school are really the only people i care about. besides, im not ashamed of anything that has happened in my life. if someone judges me, it just proves that i was right all along to secretly judg them.

Still from the Patterson-Gimlin Bigfoot Film, from Wikipedia

well that explains a lot...

obviously i like the i'll-love-you-until-the-end-of-time crying mushy part. i like the free food, getting together with friends, and dressing up. however, what i REALLY like is the disgusting selection of overused dance games and ridiculous party songs that the cheesy DJ inevitably picks. i love dancing in a disgusting manner, and these songs easily facilitate this need, because there is no way to dance properly to them. im talking about the macarena, the electric slide, and pretty much any other song that is ridiculous and overplayed and so lame that i cant do anything but join in the dancing and partake of the open bar. :)

call it off by tegan and sara

this song is amazing. i love every tegan and sara song, but this song in particular just fits me. "maybe i would have been something youd be good at. maybe you would have been something id be good at, but now we'll never know. i wont be sad, but in case ill go there every day to make myself feel bad. theres a chance ill start to wonder if this was the thing to do."

ok, so this isnt all that far, but considering that i was a broke, jobless college student at the time, this was all i could manage. khalila and i took a road trip to see tegan and sara and it was by far the best concert experience ive ever had. not only are they my favorite performers, their live show was absolutely phenomenal and i wish i could watch it daily. i would certainly travel much farther to see them, as well as some other bands, but that will have to wait until a job can be acquired.

i started reading this book in ninth grade during a mandatory reading course. we were supposed to bring a book to read every day and i finished mine mid class, as usual. therefore, i borrowed this one from my teacher. at first i found it boring, but then it was filled with suspense and morality, and i was hooked. since then ive read it several times, and i always discover something new.

their are many things i find reprehensible in the activities of others. my friends and i have even begun writing down ideas for a book possibly entitled "rules on being allowed" because so many things i witness fall in the category of "not allowed." if i had to decide on just one thing, i would say overall stupidity when driving. i suppose that technically there are traffic laws and violations of these laws do result in penalties, but they are not severe enough, and the police do not catch the mistakes that really count, such as going 40 mph on I-75 in the left lane. it literally makes me want to spear drivers with an imaginary harpoon at the end of my car. i cannot discuss it further because i am burning with rage.

i actually was referring to when mr. dunderbak's was in the mall, so im glad google hasnt been updated. khalila and i would come here a lot, and we would overhear the most vile things from guys. these conversations, as well as others, led to the slight disillusionment i feel towards males in general (except for my bf).

4 guys, roughly ages 22-27:

misc male 1: "hey jim, wanna come out to a bar with us tonight? its tom's birthday. gonna be hot girls there!"

jim: (sighs) "no, i wish! ive gotta take julie to bern's steakhouse...its our anniversary again..."

misc male 1: "hey, thats right. jim here has been dating julie for, what, 3 years now?"

jim: "actually, 4."

misc male 2: "wow, dude. thats pretty serious..."

jim: (laughter) "well, sort of..." (smirks to his friends)

misc male 1: "naw, my man here is gonna 'get some' through med school and then dump her for some hot piece of ass once hes a doctor!"

jim: "yeah, what can i say? shes a nice girl...but..."

misc male 3: "awwwww you dont have to explain it to us...." (winks and nudges jim)

misc male 1: "hes gonna have girls all over him once hes dr. jim! julie is hot, but you could SO get a model. seriously. they go crazy over the doctor shit. just keep with her for a few more years and whatever. move on to someone better!"




meanwhile, julie is probably at home talking to a friend on the phone:

julie: "oh my god, i love jim so much! hes taking me out to a really expensive dinner tonight to celebrate our anniversary. wow. i can feel it: hes ready to propose! things have just been going great between us, and i know we will be together forever!"

friend: "yeah, and hes gonna be a doctor, too! thats good money, you know."

julie: "yes, but i dont care about that. ive loved him since freshman year, when his dream was to be an artist. i dont care about money. all we need is each other to be happy. and we are!"

friend: "you are SO lucky! every girl is SO jealous of your good fortune!"



so, this is why i like to people watch at mr. dunderbak's. i feel like an undercover spy. these dumbass guys think that they are so smooth, but we know. we're onto them. because of conversations like this, i know how many guys think, and it disgusts me. i honestly am a very lucky girl to have found mike, because he is a wonderful guy. i know he would never behave like any of the guys mentioned, and that is one reason i love him. however, overhearing conversations like this has also made me paranoid and distrustful in general, so that is one downside. or, perhaps it is just that i am not as naive as i used to be.

in order to relax, i generally like to lose myself in some sort of mindless activity. for example, i will read an entire adolescent book series (most recently the ender's shadow series by orson scott card), watch a marathon of something pointless like america's next top model, eat bunches while doing these activities, or play around online with plinky and other sites. besides that, i love taking naps for hours at a time. unless im super drained, i usually dont like to nap unless i can just ride it out until i wake up naturally. alarms scare me awake, and i feel like the nap's relaxation benefits were canceled out then.

imagine a warm gooey chocolate chip cookie the size of a dinner plate topped with cold vanilla ice cream, whipped cream, and a cherry. its a sensory overload. this delicious dessert is randomly found in jax, a restaurant inside of gameworks. kiki and i used to be regulars there, and should return soon!

chap stick
i like to lick my lips. when im nervous, eating, talking, breathing, etc. i do it all the time. therefore, i have acquired an addiction to chap stick. i literally experience withdrawals. its all i can think about when i dont have it. if my lips arent well-moistened and puckering then life is not worth living. i have probably 20 tubes of various types and flavors, because if i forget to bring chap stick, i inevitably must buy some at the store. i have everything from dollar store cherry to burts bees and beyond, but all that matters is that it is smooth, wet, and delicious. ive literally used so much in a day that i mentioned it on a food tally. theres at least 2 calories per 10 servings. if not, i question the ingredients because they sure do taste delightful.

tweezers
if you are cursed as i am to have coarse dark brown hair and porcelain white skin, then you know what i mean. the fact that i look hispanic is an understatement. i tweeze my eyebrows every day. if i do not, you will know. there is visible "stubble" between the brows and underneath. plucking properly automatically gives a women 2 extra hot points. its one of those upkeep measures that is unnoticeable once completed, like using lotion or chap stick. yet, if those measures are left undone, man brows, ashy knees, and cracked lips ensue. so tweezers along with a 30x magnifying mirror makes me a happy gal.

sunscreen
i may look hispanic-ish, but i definitely stay white, or i migrate to ruby red. i need at least spf 30, and thats just if im thinking about maybe being in the sun for 5 minutes. if im seriously outside, i need spf 50 and several applications.

hair gel
i use a very specific brand. yes, it costs under $6, but if i dont have it, my 80s-style volume cannot be tamed. most drug stores and supercenters carry it, but often they run out. unless i have the means to blow dry and flat iron my hair (a feat which takes over 45 minutes), then i need this product, or i am unable to show my face. literally, because it will be obscured by a fro-tastic mess.

bras/ bathing suit tops
hard to find, and even then im spending big bucks. thats never something i can borrow :(

pillow/ blanket
you can never trust where a hotel's pillow cases and comforters have been. well, i sometimes do, but i shouldnt. it is my resolution to never trust them again! also, sleeping in a car/ plane is inevitable and amazing. well, sleeping anywhere, really.

One of the Most Important Times in My Life

look, i wanted the points. i wrote out my answer carefully on an entire sheet of notebook paper, but technology failed me. my printer/scanner/copier device deceived me, and i am now unable to use it at all. therefore, i am forced to write by means of keyboard, undermining my answer: i prefer to write by hand than by fingertip. once i have written or said something once, i really hate to repeat myself because no one heard it. however, this is plinky, and i should respect that it is not its fault that my other sources of technology have done me so wrong.

i prefer writing by hand because of the following:

1) it looks like youve written more because handwritten font is generally about an 18 pt

2) its slower than typing, so you feel more connected to your words

3) paper and pen are more accessible than a computer and keyboard, and can come in a variety of mediums: napkin, lipstick, eyeliner, receipt, etc. also, they are more portable and you can be sneakier. ive written poems and notes in church, class, at a guy's house while he was in the other room, and next to someone i was making fun of in that very note. (toni + rrdougla + occult = everyone deserved to be burned).

4) its nice to reread notes and journal entries from your past, not only because they are full of delicious memories, but also because it feels like youre looking at a stranger's words. handwriting evolves hundreds of times and our past handwriting feels unknown at first, but then we come to recognize it, almost like reconnecting with a childhood friend (how cheesy, right?).

5) hand writing a card, an invitation, or a thank you note sends the message that you care about the person and want to inject your own thoughts rather than giving them a lame overused sentiment that millions of other people have skimmed over. if you ever buy me a card, make sure the words inside actually will mean something to me and also make sure to write a cute little something to distinguish it from the carbon-copied masses.

6) receiving a handwritten playlist accompanying a mixed CD is probably the best way to say "i love you" through lyrics and sharpies. and lyrics and sharpies are always appropriate.

7) watching your handwriting morph and change even over the course of one page is exhilarating. if you dont agree, then youve never gotten a 9 on a timed writing.

8) passing notes and making your handwriting into a masterpiece of art, fiction, poetry, or dramatic gossip is amazing. if you were never a ninth grade girl, you may not know what im talking about. but if you were, lets reminisce together. well, at least the part about writing notes in bubble letters and crayola markers was nice.

so, if you ever write notes with me or receive a handwritten card or note, know that i probably love you. or something like that.

belle has always been my disney princess idol because she 1) looks the most like me, 2) she loves to read, and 3) she has a good heart and doesnt fall for gaston just because hes pretty. my girl gives the beast a chance, and that earns her my respect. maurice, belle's slightly eccentric but entirely lovable father, is hilarious and intelligent and would make an excellent friend, full of ridiculous stories and craziness in general.

when it comes to the enchanted castle, who wouldnt i be friends with in there? all of the anthropomorphic household help are equally alluring: lumiere, cogsworth, mrs. potts, and chip! all have delightful personalities, and some are a little cheeky (which endears them to me even more).

now, the beast. of course, at first he is a tad antisocial and awkward, but we must remember most pubescent teens only have to deal with a few zits and a frightfully growing body. the unnamed beast gained about 350 lbs and transformed into a hideously frightening monster in about 12 seconds. i would probably be a little moody too. he turns into a great guy and kicks gaston's ass in the end.

even though everyone lives happily ever after, i would gladly trade the new friends for a year alone in the beast's amazing floor-to-ceiling library. lets be serious.

the ceremony was long and blah. i didnt make a ton of friends at usf, because of personal preference, and the friends i did make or had previous to enrolling didnt graduate the same time as i did. therefore, i was stuck sitting next to a group of sorority girl rejects and a sullen introvert. the introvert, in her sensible flats, at least didnt talk in a high pitched mouse voice the entire time about absolutely everything or whine constantly that she couldnt see her family cause they were, like, so high up, she didnt have her phone, and she like, oh my god, didnt, like, know if she should, like, go to, like, channelside, or like out to dinner with her like family or, like, just get drunk alone and knock on the door of the burnout shes being, like, used by. lame. everyone was so excited to be there: they had decorated their hats with glitter and neon paint, figured out what zany dance move would set them apart while walking across the stage, and came dressed in their sluttiest club gear under their gowns. i suppose if i was that TYPE it would have been more entertaining. im not really often friends with ditsy sorority types. they just annoy me. not only do they all look the same, which is expected, but they all talk the same and thats just wrong. their voices just morph into one: high pitched and full of, like, spirit! it was only an hour an a half.

well, my graduation party pretty fun. mexican fiesta themed. randomly. it was very cute. it was parents and friends, so it was sort of odd, especially because most of my friends are 21 or 22 so its still weird to drink in front of adults. overall, though, there was good food, good music, good drinks, good friends. good time.