July, because it's the peak of summer, and the best month of the year.

Sunset Lough Swilly

July is clearly superior to all other months. Not only do we get to celebrate independence from something we once had independence from, there is an entire night dedicated to drinking and shooting fireworks.

July also falls during the peak of summer. Since summer is the best season of the year, and July is the best month of summer, July is therefore the best month of the year.

Broken thumbs suck when you have to type for a living.

Splinting Dislocated Thumb

Yes. I once broke both my thumbs during a game of tackle football. I was attempting to get up after being tackled when some jackarse jumped on top of the pile, shattering one of my thumbs and fracturing the other. I had to wear a thumb spica for months afterward.

Every morning, I start my day with a pot of Yuban coffee and the Times Picayune.

Coffee

Caffeine