Banana Therapy

I am the Master of Avoidance. I deflect all emotional situations, any uncomfortable moments, and any confrontations of feelings, really.

Confessions and intense emotional turmoil freak me out, what can I say? I think people should deal with their problems (I do!) in silence, or go see a shrink. I've heard they're useful (but they also happen to give me the heebie-jeebies). At this particular moment, I am avoiding a discussion with my boss which would go something like this:

- Why, hello, how have you been?
- Oh, fine, Boss, just dandy.
- I was wondering, have you finished that report you were supposed to hand in on Monday?
- Yep, Boss, I sure did. It's just my dog ate the paper copy I'd printed out for you; I was relieved when I remembered I'd saved a copy on my floppy disk, but it turns out my cat peed on beforementioned floppy disk, so it went all crazy on me. I have to start all over again, and I'm guessing that'll take.. well, two weeks, I'd say?
- *disbelieving and angry stare*

So, yeah, I'm avoiding being fired by hiding out in my cubicle. It's amazing how inefficient you can be while still seeming hard-working.
Cheerio; and if you're feeling down, you know you can always talk to M.E. (which stands for My Earplugs, duh).

I don't find things that frustrating, and I even mind-scold myself if I think something negative about other people.

But: I do find narcissistic people slightly irritating, but only in a 'Man, I feel sorry for you' way, because I don't think people can base their whole self-esteems and conversations around their beauty and still have a full life. Probably gets kinda boring, even.

Also, a friend's endless (and very detailed!) babble about his girlfriend and their sexual mishaps will definitely make my eyes go 180°. I don't need all the gore, buddy; if I ain't asking the questions, I don't wanna know.

Travel to a place you've always been curious about.
Like Australia. What is up with them having the most dangerous slash poisonous species on Earth, all cozied up in the same place?

Learn to play an instrument.
Preferably one that features on one your favorite songs. Like the violin, so you can play Rossini's "La gazza ladra"!

Do something extreme.
Like bungee-jump. Or air-dive. Or cliff-dive!

Work in a job/something you love.
I hear desk jobs can be the end of you.

Learn to do something you can use when you're older.
I want to learn to paint. It seems like painters paint to soothe their souls, and to breathe more easily.