The Door to Hell (in the nighttime) / Turkmenistan, Darvaza

My second grade teacher was the worst I ever had. I will call her Bitch. Bitch was middle-aged, fat, Jewish (appearance, not social commentary), had fat children, and spinal problems. I was an average annoying kid, not paying attention and messing around. However Bitch acted like I was starting fires while drawing indecent pictures of her. Bitch put me in the lowest learning groups she could, sent me out of the room to tell the class what a bad person I was, mis-graded my work (not adding up points correctly), and loved to dump my desk for being messy.
Once Bitch asked me after class what I wanted for Christmas. I told her a nuclear rocket. Bitch said oh a model, and I said no a real one. It was the 80's, the evening news had videos of giant nuke rockets. I thought they had nuclear engines and pilot cabins and it would be awesome if Santa could hook me up phat that year. I did not expect Santa to roll up under the radar with an ICBM strapped to the sleigh, I just wanted to be an astronaut. So guess who wound up playing weird board games with really fucked up kids in the guidance office three times a week for the rest of the year? What a bitch.
Luckily, my third grade teacher was sweat and pretty. I will call her Glinda. I had a little crush on Glinda, plus it was refreshing not to be hated and demeaned everyday. By the middle of the year I had advanced through all the learning groups and was placed in the gifted and talented program.
I hope heaven is filled with sweet teachers like Glinda that actually gave a shit. I also hope there is special hell for teachers that torture small children, and that the old cunt Bitch is burning there now, drowning in her melted fat.

Lightning

I would have the freedom of movement. No longer bound by time or space or my physical body. Once I had a dream where I was playing 5 dimensional chess with a higher being. We were able to move along a timeline and make little changes, like influencing a peasant to turn left instead of right, or giving a people confidence to achieve their goals. All of which had significant consequences, if only centuries in the future. I had to match my opponent's every move. It was really beyond description. The only rule was that we could not undo our previous actions. I had a consciousness, I was a cloud of energy. When I woke I almost cried, my body felt like prison for the rest of the day. I kind of hope the afterlife is like that, it felt like heaven.

School children singing, Pie Town, New Mexico (LOC)

"Are you my daddy?" It is a classic and never gets old. It is money well spent to bribe a kid to ask strangers this question. You can see the gears turning as the man calculates the age of the child with various women he has slept with. If ever approached with said question, pat the child on the head and repeat, "Just because I send the checks doesn't mean I'm your daddy. Your mother is a whore."