Plinky asks: What does your home say about you?

Lucia Foster Welch

My home is my little flat at university. My room contains some incense sticks to remind me of Glastonbury and photos of my friends, all smiles and posters of my favourite bands and one of them is signed. It has my laptop and my phone and my iPod and a big double duvet because I like to be warm even though I only have a teeny single bed and it has my necklaces and my make up and my mirror and some fairy lights and a desk full of stuff that is completely unordered.

I have stuff for my hair and I have a dirty tea mug and too many wires. I have my favourite books and two comfy chairs and two rag rugs and my L Word discs and my Tegan and Sara CDs and clothes spilling out all over the place because they don't all fit in my little wardrobe.

I have the bog standard blue carpet magnolia walls and a big heavy door with my coats and bags hanging on it and it's peaceful and quiet and calm and if I'm lucky it'll be full of my best friends watching the X Factor on my laptop with me on the bed and we will laugh.

And then we'll go sit in the kitchen (and we have the best kitchen in the whole of our halls!) with twice as many cupboards as everyone else and there's mountains of washing up always to do and an amazing fancy toaster that's broken so we have to balance the microwave on it so the lever stays down and the bread toasts properly and we have two brand new ovens and a big table that we all fit round. Nobody's stuff fits in the freezer because Briony's always bought too much and I've probably left some soup in the fridge again.

And then we have our showers that used to always be cold and the girls toilet that you always get stuck in and it's the happiest place in the world.

You have to be happy in 3b, said Bambi.

And she's right and this is my home.

How do you cure boredom?

If you're bored I suggest doing one of the following. You would probably never think to do them by yourself so that's why I'm helping you out. Living in University halls brings out the creativity in everyone, it seems.

#1 Get a long long piece of rope and attach it to your flatmate's door. Then zigzag your way up the corridor, attaching it to all the other doors as you go. Sit back and laugh as you hear the claustrophobic panicked screeches from inside my room.

#2 Get your flatmate's keys. Put them in a cup of water and then put them in the freezer overnight. Laugh as I try to defrost them in time for Uni. Then get a frying pan and using the icey key cup as a ball, smash the fucking shit out of it as if you're playing one crazy ass game of tennis.

#3 Cook sausages. Direct quote from my flatmate: "I'm bored. I'm going to cook sausages."

#4 Have a pillow fight. Beat the shit out of poor Bambi.

#5 Actually do the washing up. Haha! Only joking!

Plinky: Your house is on fire. Which keepsake items do you grab, and why?

My laptop
Like fuck am I going anywhere without my iTunes! And how exactly could I update my blog if I have no laptop!? Ugh. It just doesn't bear thinking about...

iPod
To drown out the sound of the fire engine. Shit really grates on your ears. So unnecessarily loud!

BlackBerry
To call mum to ask if I can come home for a while, seeing as my house will be razed to the ground and I will have nowhere to live etc etc. And to play Word Mole whilst I'm waiting for the train.

My new dress
It was expensive, and just because I no longer have a home doesn't mean I can't look pretty okay.

A useful bag to put things in
Self explanatory really. I only have two hands. What with the dress/iPod/laptop/phone combo it's gonna get awful difficult to carry whilst running for my life. A bag will alleviate these problems.

The half a subway sandwich that is just chillin' on my windowsill right now
Oh, what. It's wrapped up! Anyway. I paid for that, and goddamnit I'm gonna eat it!