Once upon a time there was a donkey and a princess. They met an ogre when they were walking through the woods. His name was Shrek. They thought they had heard of this "Shrek" before and realised they had just seen him an hour ago at the movies. Then the princess realised she was married to him. "Oh, no!" she yelled. She had just been making out with the donkey. She apologised profusely to Shrek and ran away, Far, Far Away. Donkey stayed behind as Shrek cried. Shrek felt like Oedipus Rex.
Princess Fiona went to visit her fairy godmother, who promised her that she would send her to a country made out of jellybeans and chocolate, as well as other types of candy. This place was called Candyland. It was a magical place, and also a board game. She clapped her hands in joy and hopped into her carriage to depart for this wonderful place.
Meanwhile, Donkey was left behind with the kids. He had half-donkey/half-dragon children from a past relationship, and half-donkey/half-human children from his relationship with Fiona.
Many years later, the adults were dead and Donkey's children grew up, some became teachers and the rest became criminals.
...and also in blue!
Chocolate
