In a movie full of newsy backstabbers, Albert Brooks' character is funny, supportive, smart, funny, neurotic, lovesick, funny, kind of sweaty, and altogether endearing. And funny.

I love Albert Brooks.

And so, I would hang out with any of his characters, even Hank Scorpio.

"Wouldn't this be a great world if insecurity and desperation made us more attractive? If needy were a turn on?"

Typically, not so much. But in the form of Aaron Altman, shape of Albert Brooks, I know we'd make great wonder twins.

Isabel Sanford
In my world, Isabel "Weezy" Sanford is still alive and ready to rumble. She whipped George Jefferson into place, didn't take guff from the sassy help, and single-handedly ran the Help Center. Who we up against? Sharks? Jets? Dry cleaner convention attendees? Isabel would keep cooly-cool, boy.

Tommy Tune
He's one tall drink of water, and he'll Chicago Box your sweet ass into next Tuesday. Pow!

Joe Pesci
Like a chihuahua bouncing around a bulldog, or a mosquito buzzing in your ear during a company picnic, Pesci would annoy the rival gang to distraction. Then, he'd kneecap them and get sausage and peppers for the whole crew. Bust cool!