• crunchycheetos3
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    • the end of an era and beginning of another

      • i'm a creature of habit and i don't deal well with changes... i kick my legs and shake my arms as my feeble attempt to keep things the way they are. i resist or even fear changes because i don't know what the future holds.

        i was bitter, shocked, in denial and sad for a long time after T and i broke up... they say the dumper goes through more pain than the dumpee, to realize that the relationship isn't working out and therefore, decides that it's best they break up. perhaps there's an ounce of truth to it, but i wasn't buying it... although we broke up, T and i still talk everyday and tell each other "i love you"... ppl around me thought it was weird and even i couldn't put a finger on it... we were still holding out hope that we would get back together, so even though we are no longer a couple, we behaved like one...

        however, it seems as if i was having an inner struggle with myself... on one hand, i was still trying to hold onto the feelings and love i have for T. on another hand, i was starting to feel tired and depressed of the ambiguity... the truth is, i don't know how life would be without T anymore... i was tired of going back and forth with myself whether or not i should try to salvage the relationship... i felt like a shell going about my daily routine... while other ppl try to knock some sense in me, i was still obsessed with getting back with T... it became unbearable at times when i would have bouts of euphoria and emo-ness... i didn't feel like the carefree, optimistic person that i was...

        i contemplated on committing suicide, but i couldn't bear inflicting such pain on my loved ones... the solution i longed for finally came in one day... i had an epiphany and realized that letting go is the best solution for both of us... trying to hold onto a dead relationship is useless and draining... i feel like a new person and welcomed the new understanding with open arms. i don't regret falling in love with T or the memories that we had together... at least i know we did everything we could...

        i wrote an email to T about everything and wished him the best of luck with everything he decides to do... i will no longer hold grudges or cry about how things used to be... lingering onto the past will hinder us from what's ahead for us in the future... being in a relationship with T taught me a great deal on love and relationship... the end of one relationship is the beginning of a new me as i work on bettering myself...

      • answered by crunchycheetos3 on 07/04/2010
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    • Top it with whipped cream

      • because you never kno what they add to that cool whip stuff... i heard they added hydrogenated oil to it... ewww!

      • answered by crunchycheetos3 on 07/02/2010
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    • 3 good things

      • sometimes we become envious of other ppl, but who knows, maybe they're jealous of us too... often times we don't know what we have until it's gone, so it's beneficial for us to do an introspection from time to time and appreciate the little things...


        health
        i'm somewhat health-conscious, but i haven't really treated my body well from a young age... i have always been a night owl, from the time i worked in my parents' restaurant (where we would get off of work around 10 or 11pm) to my undergraduate years. as i continue to pull all-nighters to complete assignments, i started to realize that my body is no longer in the same shape that it was like freshman year. i can barely stay up all night and i would look like a zombie in class, while dozing off occasionally. another thing is my eating habits. i love fried foods, starches (potatoes, bread, rice, you name it) and red meat... it's not the healthiest combination, but i try to balance it out with fruits and veggies.

        i think the reason why i'm still okay is that my metabolism is still performing at its peak... i guess it's something that comes with youth... ;-) but really though, being healthy is key to your overall well-being. your life will be more satisfying because you're not limited or excluded from certain activities because of poor health.


        good friends and family
        i've been in a slump for the last few months over several things: work, relationship and weight issue. good thing i have my family and friends to fall back on when everything else isn't working out. one thing i learned is that no matter how badly you messed up, your family will always forgive you (given that you really show remorse and a willingness to change). at the end of the day, you're still family (i guess they have to accept me since we're stuck together for life... lol!)...


        optimism
        another good thing to have right now is definitely optimism... i mean, i have to keep my head up somehow with all these things i'm going through right now... i get the blues from time to time, but i realized that my mom didn't raise a weak daughter nor am i the type to succumb to defeat... after a good sob fest, i feel like i can conquer the world with my attitude again... hence the reason why i'm writing this entry now, to give thanks and maintain a positive attitude... :-)

        ps. when life gives you lemons, you break out the tequila and have a party! ;-)


      • answered by crunchycheetos3 on 07/02/2010
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