- hello Ethan Gomes
- Username: diagas
- In response to: "What's the one thing you're never gonna give up?" Love, and all the hope that I have for it.
- diagas's latest answers
- Write your reader a letter
To whom it may concern:
The only memory that gives me joy is watching the rain drops stream down the window, waiting for the best day of my life. Going around this world claiming your own personal achievements is sort of a standard these days, isn't it? That's exactly why Tumblr flourishes: it gives us all a podium to shout-cast to the internet unequivocally.
I'm not sure why you're here, to be honest. Either you have some aforementioned interest in me as a person, or you just tumbled down the rabbit hole and ended up here. I welcome anyone to view my blog, as its serves anyone with a knack for wit.
Slaughtered bodies of blog readers past litters my skeleton full of closets. I never intend to alienate my readers, but rather the persons who've plagued my life. I'm merely here to share my most inner thoughts, and to stave off the darkness in my life. I'm in the midst of a great jigsaw puzzle, and you get to watch me put it together.
Participation isn't mandatory, just open eyes (and sometimes ears). I'm not here to serve any individual; I work merely as a vessel for love. Don't constrain your mind by feeding your ego, as I'm probably never talking about you. My targeted souls also serve as my least likely cheerleaders.
Consider this my only warning of my domain. What you may read here may be nothing but nonsenses, but the best nonsenses always lead to another synapse. I come forth to you, sober and pure, as the sole prophet of my word. Let the disciples go back to cover; and the mome raths outgrabe.
Your blog writer,
- A Children's Book Every Child Should Read
- This Book = Meh
- One Thing I Learned Recently
This is such a perfect topic. It's so relevant. Maybe it's my 5:30 AM craziness, but I've recently had an epiphany about something I've learned, about people that is. Out of all the personal, platonic relationships you will ever have with people, only one in a hundred will be on a truly personal level. Every other relationship will have some sort of toxic effect on either you... or, well, you're the toxic one. And throwing around the word toxic is justified, because it's the only way to describe the relationship. It's all about give and take.
I feel like a lot of the times, I'm getting the short end of the stick. I'm not going to admit to being some holy man, but I could potentially be a pretty damn good friend. I have a lot of spare time, and very little commitment. Especially during a summer where I have no job. This will probably be the last time in my life where I have no job during a summer. Mmmm. People fuckin' missed out this summer, let me tell you, I'm one good platonic fuck buddy. Without the fucking of course; instead it would be more about deep conversation and sharing a tub of ice cream.
I have had a lot of disappointments in my life when it comes to friends. And I seriously believe it all began in elementary school. I was never one to make friends. Infact, I was an outcast. I can distinctly remember being a bully that made fun of people, even though I was exactly like everyone else. I liked Pokemon. Well. I also liked Beanie Babies, and was slightly embarrassed about it, but I'm gonna man up to my hobby now. But that's besides the point.
All of my life, I've gravitated towards forming a single, solid, focused friendship on one person. It's been that way ever since my first best friend. I always will pick one person, who I think could potentially be an awesome friend, and totally focus on them. I think it makes sense, I have an addictive personality. Once I start being someone's friend, I want to have nothing more than their undivided attention and affection. Well this just got creepy. But seriously. Without going on a long-winded tangent about specifications of my best friends, it's been consistent. All throughout elementary through high school to now even, I've had one best friend that I've been inseparable from.
Now what you all must be wondering is, what happened to my first best friend, and why do I go through best friends like toilet paper ala explosive diaherrea. It's always some complicated argument, where we both are too stubborn to work past our differences, and then grow apart. I've seen it happen to all of my old best friends. And luckily, I caught on to my trend after the most painful "friend break-up" in high school.
Personal problems aside, the whole friendship relationship thing. I think I focus more on having one friend I can fully trust, because I don't generally trust people. I don't know how other people function, and it'd be stupid to assume their thought process. The only person who knows how you function is yourself. However, if you gain extensive trust of someone, they'll open up to you, and you'll learn a lot more about them. People who know me can tell you that I'm an information gatherer. It's in my nature to diagnose every situation. And if I have to play a certain part, mood, tell people what they want to hear, or whatever to get information, then I'd probably do that. I could see how people would read this as me being a snake, but unless snakes are there to learn, then I'm a fucking king cobra.
This is all leading in to my main thesis: people use other people. A very broad statement, yeah, I know. But it bugs me. Everyday, I hear, see, read about someone using someone else for their own personal game. I get it. Life's about that. You have to interact with people to get the desired actions you want from them. I'd consider it a step below manipulation, because it's not exactly manipulation, it's more of a consort relationship.
You know how you read about people paying people for sex? Well, I'm never going to win over the vanilla crowd with this comparison, but this is my brutal truth. A consort relationship, is exactly like any other GENERIC relationship you will have with someone. Let's give this play-by-play some humanity, shall we? Person A pays Person B to sleep with them. Okay, yeah, Person B is a dirty whore, but Person A paid them, so it's whatevzsky (ignore those pesky morals just until the end of this paragraph). You can break apart this sentence into a function.. just change the words "pays" and the statement "sleep with them". I could run through examples, but I'm not one to push out redundancy in an already long-winded rant.
I would like to believe there are things as genuine friendship. You enjoy someone's company. But isn't that also using someone? Social appetite is a real thing. It's kinda gross, to think, that you could possibly be using some of your friends, just to fulfill your social needs as a human being, right? Well. I dunno. This is all stemming from personal observation I have from my own personal life. I love my friends, I really do, but sometimes I can see when I'm being used. And I can see when I'm using my other friends. Luckily, there's light at the end of the tunnel.
The way we can all reconcile with our usingness, is to make sure that our relationships are give-take. It should be a simple, engraved concept in all of our minds for any relationship we have, be it to humans, animals, plants, insects, whatever. You need to have respect for things. You can't just take things for granted.
So when I see my friends trash talk my other friends, I get uneasy. I know deep down, that they could just as easily be trash talking me. A person who can gossip with you about someone else, can just as easily gossip with someone else about you. This is why I enjoy having one best friend. You know if you have a best friend, that they will never betray you. They will always stand up for you, and they won't talk behind your back. As for your other friendships, I've come to a realization that I need to be more conservative with who I associate myself with. And with someone as unsocial as me, saying I need to be more conservative is probably a pipe dream. But for anyone else reading this, it's food for thought.
Consider your friendships, and how they affect your life. Break it down in your mind. When you think of this person in your mind, ask yourself a few simple questions: Would this person spot me lunch if I forgot my wallet? Would this person be there for me if I had no one else to go to? Would this person give me a hug? Would this person take the initiative to talk to me first? Would this person ever talk behind my back? Paranoia is not what I'm endorsing, but rather it's me saying to be cautious. Don't put your eggs in a rotten basket. So in short, what I've learned recently, is to have better judgment on people, or rather specifically my relationships with other people, and who's most important to my life.