Everybody has their own crap to deal with and if we all took responsibility for our own instead of leaving it for someone else clean up, there would be less of it.

Bidet Mate!

It all starts with childhood conditioning, as parents dump on their children every bit of crap they have learned up to that point on both a conscious and sub-conscious level – and sometimes it’s a load of diarrhoea.

Life is about taking responsibility for your own thoughts and actions, which is what we should learn during the stage of childhood. As a child you are an observer and you are not capable of reacting to anything bigger than not getting something you want at that exact moment. This is often referred to as the ‘terrible twos’ stage, because it is the time that is most prominent with the ‘want’ factor in human development. Responsible parents will be able to ‘respond’ to a child’s tantrums with acknowledgment and redirection, whilst irresponsible parents will ‘react’ on the same level as the child without so much as a tiny fore-thought. You can imagine how much this adult has grown on this level since they were two years old and what lessons they have yet to learn – the hard way.

All the while you are growing up and beyond adulthood, you are observing how others respond or react to things that are not yet part of your experience and down the road when you’re in that same scenario you mimic those that got the desired result. Without thinking you will fall back on the skill that is most beneficial to your cause, depending on what was impressed upon you. Whether your resulting action is your most entrained or whether you created a response mechanism that works for you based on your personality and interactions with people, it’s your choice and your responsibility.

Far too many people blame others for their actions and it is one of the worst things I have been witness to in the course of my existence. How often have you heard it said, “You make me so mad” and “Now look what you made me do” and “It’s your fault that I didn’t fulfill my dream” – as if you could have done anything about their choices?

Nope, personal responsibility is by far the most lacking human quality from my perspective and when more people pick them own selves up and get busy making even ‘common sense’ choices for their own life, they will be strong, their families will be strong, our country will be strong and so on – if they just remember to flush.

I fall back on some of the most profound sayings ever written every once in a while to help keep me focused.

"Actions speak louder than words" is one of the clearest and direct and is immediately recalled when someone promises me something. Another one that helped me when I was going through a lot of guilt during my divorce is "Marriage was made for people...people were not made for marriage". One that my son told me is "Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.” And then there’s the timeless Goethe with "Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness had genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now.” Of course one should never forget, “Thoughts are things, think the good ones” and "As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he."

Quotes I hate and will never repeat are “Damned if you do and damned if you don't”, “Nice guys finish last”, “No pain...no gain”, “Only the good die young”, and my all time least favourite, Want in one hand, shit in the other, and see which fills up the fastest.” These are really heavy, hard to unlearn and basically tell you to put up and shut up, because there ain’t nothin’ you can do about it. Whoever thought them up was probably miserable and didn’t want others to be happy if they couldn’t – that’s my theory.

Some of my own quotes that I wrote that appeared in my consciousness to help me on a personal level are “It's not so much what you need to learn to make a good life...it's more what you need to unlearn” and “Never be a prisoner of some else's bad decisions” and ”You can never believe in nothing, because you can always believe in yourself.”

One thing I always made sure of when my son left the house was to say, “Have fun” rather than “Be careful” and I still say it whenever anyone leaves my house. I guess I never want anyone to leave my home feeling afraid that something bad might happen to them once they’ve left.

I never ask people for advice about solutions to problems in my life, because I know it better than anyone else and I always find the answers through meditation and hunches. I do however fall back on some of the most profound sayings ever written every once in a while to help keep me focused.

I'm thinking of...

I believe advice should support, inspire and influence on a positive level when a person is trying to make the right decision about their life, rather than warn of impending doom, gloom and disaster.

"Actions speak louder than words" is one of the clearest and most helpful pieces of advice that I like to share. Another one that helped me when I was going through a lot of guilt during my divorce is "Marriage was made for people...people were not made for marriage". One that my son told me teaches a lot about how to live life in "Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.” And then there’s the timeless Goethe with “"Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness had genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now.” Of course one should never forget, “Thoughts are things, think the good ones” and "As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he."

Advice that should never be shared is “Damned if you do and damned if you don't”, “Nice guys finish last”, “No pain...no gain”, “Only the good die young”, and my all time least favourite, Want in one hand, shit in the other, and see which fills up the fastest.” These are really heavy, hard to unlearn and basically tell you to put up and shut up, because there ain’t nothin’ you can do about it. Whoever thought them up was probably miserable and didn’t want others to be happy if they couldn’t – that’s my theory.

To counteract some of the negative advice I received growing up I created some of my own words to live by. When I’m up against it I just recall one or more of them and the answers to my problems come quite quickly. I think it’s because positive thoughts open your mind to the divine where solutions are kept – that’s my theory. When I need them I choose to remember thoughts like “It's not so much what you need to learn to make a good life...it's more what you need to unlearn” and “Never be a prisoner of some else's bad decisions” and ”You can never believe in nothing, because you can always believe in yourself.”

One thing I always made sure of when my son left the house was to say, “Have fun” rather than “Be careful” and I still say it whenever anyone leaves my house. I guess I never want anyone to leave my home feeling afraid that something bad might happen to them once they’ve left.