- hello Emma Vincent
- Username: emmavincent166
- In response to: "If you were in a movie right now, what music would be playing?" Probably the Circle of Life from the Lion King. Not very sophisticated I know, but the words...there's more to see etc...sum up my fascination and love of life.
- emmavincent166's latest answers
- The five fave foods you choose
- The odd couple
Something I do before company comes over. Most of the time I have my head buried in a book or I'm writing, so I'm blissfully unaware of my surroundings most of the time. It's always a shock when I occasionally look round, and I end up wondering who on earth has invaded my house and created such a mess. Then I'm anxious!
- My favorite quote
My favourite quote is somewhat long, more of a verse really, but it has become an important guide/mantra to me:
The whole world we travel with our thoughts,
Finding nowhere anyone as precious as one’s own self.
Since each and every person is so precious to themselves
Let the self-respecting harm no other being.
from the Samyutta Nikaya
I like this quote/mantra because:
- it clearly links the idea that the relatonship we have with others is defined significantly by the relationship with have with ourselves. I do find it difficult to believe people when they say that they are not critical of others, but are very harsh on themselves.
- When I'm being harsh on myself, I consider how holding that view of myself might impact on my relationship with others. As a result I have learnt to be a lot gentler on myself.
- When I'm being unfairly critical of others, it pulls me up and makes me think about whether what I'm saying/thinking is accurate or just an echo of how I'm feeling about myself.
Another quote I like, which ties in with this is ""When you point your finger at somebody else, three fingers are pointing back at you".
Finally, on this rather long post: Several years ago I attended a pyscotherapy training course. One of the exercises was to identify someone you felt criticial about, think about what you would say to them e.g.
"X (name of person), you are always late for meetings and your late arrival always disrupts the discussion."
The next part of the exercise was to make it an 'I' statement:
"I am always late for meetings, and my late arrival always disrupts the discussion."
It was an interesting and uncomfortable exercise. I found that a number of my 'criticisms' were equally true of me - not all, but enough to make me stop and think!