North Slope Borough PD

When I saw Jim sitting out in his cruiser out in front of the bakery, I pulled in beside him. Jim wasn't much of one for sitting in his cruiser; when he wasn't actively on patrol, he liked to sit inside down at Shirley's and drink a pot of coffee while bullshitting with the townspeople. Jim always says you can find out a lot of things bullshitting, things people never even know they've told you.

Jim's not gonna be in trouble over that, is he? I mean, I'm just trying to be honest and everything. He did some real good police work in that diner, kept his ear so low to the ground that he scraped it some.

Anyway, I got out of my own cruiser and walked over to Jim's window. He was slumped there behind the driver's seat, looking depressed for all the world. Jim was a pretty happy guy, normally, so seeing him sitting there all sad made me concerned and--okay, well, I want to be honest for the record, I was curious. Real curious.

"Hey there, Jim," I said to him. I gave him a nice big smile to see if I could cheer him up some. "Hey, whatcha doing sitting out here all by your lonesome?"

"Go away, Marty," he said, and that was real unusual, too. Jim's not the kind of guy to tell people to shove off.

"C'mon, Jim," I said. "I saw you sittin' here in your cruiser and I know something's wrong."

"It isn't any of your business, Marty," he said. "Just run along."

Now, I don't really take too kindly to being told to move on, and I was startin' to really get worried. What? I know you don't need me to digress, but I'm telling this story my way and I'm gonna tell it the way I'm gonna tell it, damn it. This is a man's life we're talking about, here.

Can I finish? Okay, then.

So anyway, I decided that I was going to dig in my heels and get to the bottom of this situation. I felt it was my duty as a police officer and as a friend.

"Just tell me one thing," I said to him. "Just tell me if you're having some kind of problem that's going to affect you on the job. 'Cause you can't be out on patrol if your problems are going to get in the way of the job. I'll have to call Sally if I think you can't be out on patrol."

"Aww, don't call Sally," he said. "Geez, Jim. Get in the car and I'll tell you, I can already tell you're not going to let up until I do."

So I went around and got into the car, and then the crazy mother--sorry, then Jim locks the door and speeds out of the parking lot! He'd never acted like this before so I was kind of scared. Okay, I was a lot scared.

"Jim! What in the world are you doing?"

"I can't take it, Marty." I was trying to get my seat belt on, he pulled off so fast and his knuckles were white gripping the steering wheel.

"Can't take what, Jim?"

"Linda. Linda ran out on me. She left me a note that she's going to California and she isn't coming back. Not ever."

"Well goddamn. I'm really sorry."

"What am I supposed to do? We've been married for almost forty years now. I didn't even know she was unhappy."

"Well, maybe that's why she left."

"You think this is my fault?"

I had gotten myself into a bind. He was getting angry at me, I could tell, and I could have kicked my own ass for saying that. He wasn't all right in the head and I knew it.

"No, no, I don't think it's your fault. Hell, she should have told you, Jim, you're not a damned mind-reader."

"That's right. That's right, I'm not a mind-reader. She should have told me that she was unhappy." He banged on the steering wheel a little bit. "I don't know if I can live without her. How am I going to wake up every day in an empty bed, come home to a house full of all that ruffly flowery stuff she wanted that's going to remind me of her every day?"

I didn't want to answer that because I didn't want to get myself in trouble, but he kept looking over at me like he wanted an answer, so I said, "Maybe she'll get out there and find out that she wants to come back. Maybe she's having one of those midlife crisis deals."

"I think she and I both are about 20 years too late for a midlife crisis." Jim was going faster and faster, we were doing almost 80 down SR-55. He was taking those curves so fast I thought the cruiser was going up on two wheels.

"No, I think she's gone. I think she's gone and I think it must be my fault somehow. I must not have been a very good husband to her."

"Aw, Jim. I'm sure you were a great husband."

"It's this job. It just sucks the life right out of a marriage. Always working late hours and she's sitting home worried every day that she's going to get a phone call saying that I'm not coming home. Never able to leave work at the office because it's ongoing. Never being able to really be a husband because I'm always a cop first. Fuck this job. I've been a good cop, Marty. I've been a damn good cop and it's cost me my marriage."

This is about the time that he pulled the car over onto the shoulder. He braked so fast that it sent gravel flyin' up every which way.

"I'll call for someone to come pick you up, Marty," he said. "I'm sorry I hijacked you like that. I'm sure you won't have to wait too long." He leaned over and popped the trunk. "There's a little folding chair in the trunk if you want it to sit on."

I went around to the back and got the chair. I wanted to say goodbye, but he sped away as soon as I closed the trunk. Even though he said he was gonna call for someone, I went ahead and got out my phone and made the call myself.

No, I wasn't with him when it happened. I told you just now that he dropped me off on the shoulder where I got picked up. No, I told you that before. Don't you think I'd be in the hospital if I'd been in the car when he did that? Sometimes I don't know how you made detective, Sonny.

No, that wasn't a crack at you. Well, I guess it was, but geez, Sonny. Use a little common sense.

Anyway, I guess Jim was pretty upset about his wife leaving and all. So I guess that's why he did it. Did anybody try to get ahold of her? Okay. Well, is that all you needed? I think I've had a little too much excitement for the day. I'll be down at Shirley's if you need anything else.