- hello Laurie Fessler
- Username: hibernationnow
- In response to: "What is the one thing you consistently spill on yourself?" My husband sometimes brings me coffee in the mornings and I slurp it so enthusiastically, I spill it on the T-shirts I sleep in. Purple, pink, white,soft shirts now all stained with aromatic coffee.
- hibernationnow's latest answers
- Love to Love you Love me.
Being kind and thoughtful to other people is very important to me, being sensitive to their needs. My favorite person is my husband who is also kind and supportive, probably in different ways. We both have huge hearts, we both probably care TOO much and feel disappointed in people who are not as warm and understanding as we are.
This is the way we are, naturally, it is who we are inside. Dealing with selfish and self-involved people with no feelings about anyone but themselves is hard for us. Most people are not like us, we are lucky to have found each other. In this great big, self-involved world, we are definitely in the minority.
We have each other for now, I'm terrified, absolutely terrified for the day that one of us will be left without the other.
It was my first day at a new job in a new city. I had moved to Boston on a whim and a couple of hundred dollars and I was going to stay there until I found a job. This was my plan.(Needless to say I was in my early twenties.) I found a job at a major publishing firm and I was thrilled.
On my first day (of everything) I was nauseous, nervous and basically wanted to throw up. I've spent a lifetime trying to avoid that which comes naturally to me. Throwing up when I'm nervous and peeing every two minutes. Luckily since I am ALWAYS early I found a place to buy coffee and go to the rest room.I remember looking at this huge, high rise building that was going to be my home away from home for many years.This was a job, a real job.
I decided I needed to give myself a code, a pep-talk of sorts but a short one so that I would remember it: I chose CORE, (confidence, optimism, relaxation and enthusiasm.) I've used this word to keep me whole when I get lost, to ground me, if get unsure of myself. I haven't remembered that in years. Thank you for reminding me.
If there is interest, please comment, I may be putting a group together (on-line) for support, guidance, counseling. I am NOT a doctor but I am extremely intuitive and have worked in counseling for many years. Common Sense Counseling......
- For tomorrow, we die
Dining companions? Setting? Conversation?
I wouldn't move from my living room, food would be ordered in from wherever my family wanted, loads of it. My adult children would be with my husband and me, our dog would be in my lap, my mother would be with us. We would not talk about the end of the world but the memories we had. We would talk about the good times, the happy times and we would not be looking at any clock. Let the world end when it does, we are holding on to each other like any other Sunday, with good comfort food, milk shakes, champagne, anything our hearts desired. No limit. Nothing fancy, nothing different, just a lot more of it. Now is the time to coax those less inclined to talk to share their feelings, to show emotion. Maybe they would, maybe they wouldn't. You can't change people you just have to accept them the way they are. If you are disappointed it really is YOUR problem.
No fights, no domineering, just balance. Love, kindness, support, appreciation. To have had what we did have, together. We close our eyes together and fall asleep.
- Talk It Out
Calmly. I learned it late but I know it instinictively now. There are always two sides to a story. The truth is generally somewhere in the middle. Let each person talk, one at a time, no interruptions. After they finish, the other person has their turn, again, no interruptions, the rest is called mediation. COMPROMISE. Point out the things they have in common or what they are both frustrated about. Sometimes it's just a misunderstanding or hurt feelings. Always, talk it out. Peace is better than being "right." But, you have to grow-up in order to know that. You will, eventually, life will make you.
- Best Friends
There are no words I can say that will make you feel better, just time will help the intensity of the feelings you feel. I would never lie to you. I know how devastated, you are with the loss of your husband, Gary. You are sad, in shock in denial and angry,who wouldn't be? Those are all valid feelings but I want you to know you do NOT have to go through them alone.
I am here for you, as your best friend, at anytime. You know that, Jess, just pick up the phone if you want company, any time day or night and I will come straight away. I know what you are going to say "you don't want to be a bother" but you're my best friend, you are like my sister, NOTHING could make you a bother, ever.
I know you would do the same exact thing for me. Let me and our friends help you through this difficult time, all of us are a family, all of us love you and the kids.
Believe me, being strong for your kids, as much as you adore them, is probably another burden right now, I think that's fair to say. I know you need to be strong for them when all you want to do is scream, cry or kick some walls in. Sweetie, I understand.
I know you don't like to ask for help but I am telling you that there is a food/housework/babysitting schedule to help you out for the first few months. We're not asking you, all your friends WANT to do this for you, you know I will listen to whatever you have to say but expect me to come over tonight at six with dinner, some treats for the kids and vanilla fudge ice cream with whipped cream, your favorite since you were five.
I will stay as long as you want, you can invite me in or kick me out, everything you decide is fine right now. I love you, Jess, the same as you love me, we are best friends and we have always been there for each other, nothing changes.
I'm going to leave a pair of pajamas in an overnight bag for whenever you want company, any hour, day or night. No, it's not too much trouble. Are you kidding? I love sleepovers, I always did. I'll even bring the popcorn. To me, that's what best friends do and I know, without a shadow of a doubt you would do the same for me.
See you later.
Tell the kids Aunt Nikki is coming over with some surprise sweets! See you at six. Love, Me