Back in 1997 I spent six weeks in France with one of my architecture classes. Here are a few things I learned:

1. If you want to get hit on by weird foreign guys, the easiest way to get attention is to sit down with a sketch pad and start drawing. You'll end up with more phone numbers than sketches.

2. Nothing tests your mastery of a foreign language like trying to talk your way out of an encounter with a creepy foreign guy intent on taking you out for coffee.

3. The French are great with food. The French are not great with Mexican food. French bartenders are also unclear on what goes into a margarita.

4. Duck pate is fabulous, but there is such a thing as too much of a good thing.

5. Being able to lounge in the sun on the beach in Calais in June might seem like a sure thing, but it's also possible to find that the expensive bathing suit you purchased in Paris two weeks prior was totally unnecessary given the windy 40 degree weather on the beach the one weekend you're there.

6. If you get the chance to run naked into the freezing cold waters of the English Channel in the dead of night, go for it. You'll regret passing up the chance and being the chicken who held the clothes.

7. 284 steps sounds like a lot of stairs to climb. It feels like more.

8. When a group of drunk French college students and a group of drunk American college students try to teach each other good drinking games, everyone ends up way too drunk and nobody really learns anything.

9. Late night American TV means lots of infomercials. Late night French TV means lots of soft core porn. Or maybe we just stayed in the wrong kinds of hotels.

10. No matter how much you study a language, there's a good chance you'll not be familiar with the words necessary to ask for something you really need.

11. That will also be the one time you forget to bring your French-English dictionary with you.

12. Padlocking the zippers of your backpack together might look silly, but he who laughs at you will be the first to have his passport stolen.

13. Signs warning you to keep off the grass also mean don't play hacky sack in close proximity to the grass.

14. If you pack art supplies in your luggage for a long flight, make sure they're extremely secure. The last thing you want to spend your first day in Paris doing is trying to scrub conte crayon out of your clothes.

15. Looking for extra excitement while traveling abroad? Bring along a 3-year-old.

16. Walking a lot only leads to losing weight if you don't simultaneously gorge yourself on pastries and wine.

17. Watch out for air bubbles lurking in the melted butter underneath your escargot. They will explode in your face at the slightest provocation. Strangers will laugh at you.

18. She who turns her nose up at being served a big slice of Bambi is likely to find that the dinner she gets instead is a big slice of Thumper. Both are delicious.

19. It doesn't matter how nice the boat is, it will never make up for finding out that the hovercraft you bought tickets for is out of service for the day.

20. Cats can, indeed, be leash trained, and it's adorable.

Okay, maybe some of them aren't exactly brilliant, but whatever.

1. While we're freaking out about climate change and attempting to make more environmentally responsible decisions, wouldn't it also be smart to start thinking ahead to how we're going to live with the probably inevitable consequences? Like not building or buying more real estate in coastal areas that are likely to be underwater if the oceans rise a foot or two. Even starting to relocate inland while there are still a crap ton of cheap houses to buy so that when the water does start to rise we don't end up with a zillion climate change refugees who expect the rest of the world to foot the bill for their lack of forethought.

2. This one isn't mine, of course, but how 'bout everyone commit to wearing their pants with the waistbands where they belong?

3. Selecting and supporting a political candidate, issue, or party should not even slightly resemble deciding whether you're Team Edward or Team Jacob. Seriously, people. It's the government, not a fucking fan club.

4. While we're at it, no more Twilight. We'd all be better off.

5. More NIN music. Less people whining, bitching, and complaining about NIN.

6. As much as the recession sucks, isn't it a prime opportunity to restructure your life so that when the economy does recover you're in a good position to profit from it? You know, accept the consequences now and take it like grown-ups. Face it, even when the economy recovers, it won't be like it was a few years ago. The rules will have completely changed. Might as well get used to it now.

7. By the end of the decade, I'll be almost 45. I resolve right now not to be a bitter hag of a 45-year-old. The world changes. No generation has ever succeeded in bitching and moaning enough to make the world revert to some earlier state in history that they decided was "better," and neither will ours. Besides, humans have an uncanny tendency to view the past with rose-tinted glasses, even when the past was shitty.

8. Since we're in the midst of a period where technology is advancing at unprecedented speed (Moore's Law FTW!) and we're becoming socially dependent on stuff like smart phones, I think it's time for somebody to throw my little software idea into the mix: There should be a small device (something small enough to place in a piece of jewelry or whatnot) that, when discretely activated, would call your cell phone and fake an important phone call so you could get out of awkward situations, boring conversations, etc at will.

9. I kind of hope something weird happens on December 21, 2012. Nothing catastrophic or anything, just something that will make everyone stop and think.

10. If Nickelback is still recording in ten year's time, there will officially be no hope for humanity.

Cosy

I think the animal kingdom has the right idea. When it starts turning colder it's time to fatten yourself up and sleep through the freezing temperatures. Or head for warmer climates, I suppose. Personally, though, I prefer the idea of hibernation.

Not that I don't like winter. I prefer it to summer. It's more fun to dress for cold weather -- hoodies and jackets and boots and scarves and putting layers over layers... You can use your entire wardrobe in the winter, but you can't comfortably use your winter clothes in the dead of summer. And all the good holidays happen during the colder half of the year.

And there aren't many things that feel as good as lying in bed in a slighly chilly room, cocooned in blankets.

How much mentally healthier would we be if we all spent more of our time during the winter just resting ourselves? After all, the nights are longer. The nasty weather makes travel more dangerous. It only makes sense to take advantage of the opportunity to shut out the world and commune with our mattresses.