• jetpants
      • hello Jet Pants
      • Username: jetpants
      • In response to: "What was the comfort food you enjoyed most growing up?" Cornbread and milk. Yup. Together, in a glass. Clearly you don't roll like I do.
  • jetpants's latest answers
    • Get off my lawn, you punk bastards...
      • About three years ago, I called the cops on my upstairs neighbors for playing douchey hip-hop metal at such a volume that through the floor it sounded like a buffalo being jammed into a woodchipper. I told myself it was justified because it was past midnight on a Thursday. Part of my soul died that day. Goddamned kids with their baggy pants...

      • answered by jetpants on 01/24/2009
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    • Jetpants has a posse.
      • Open tryouts coming soon...


        The guy who threw the shoe at Bush
        Clearly for security. Also for general ambition, and to ensure I stay grounded.


        Corky from Life Goes On
        Ultimate wingman.


        Ira Glass
        Unlimited free drinks at hipster bars.


        Four or Five midgets
        If you have to ask why, clearly you don't belong in my posse.


        Oscar Widle
        To handle all my tweets for me.


      • answered by jetpants on 01/24/2009
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    • In defense of my vice: bizarre item shoplifting
      • arrest - pt 3

        I wanted to do a 'bit' with an enema bottle but not go through the embarrassment of actually purchasing it. I saw the clerk with her judgmental eyes. Now it is a bit of a compulsion, always under a dollar, has to be strange, in the pocket it goes.

      • answered by jetpants on 01/22/2009
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        0 comments