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- hello Jordan White
- Username: jordanawhite
- In response to: "Who are you?" A bit of a nobody wanting to be a somebody. A bit of a non-believer wanting to believe. A bit of a joker wanting to take life more seriously.
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jordanawhite's latest answers
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- What I Lost and Want Back
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My smile.
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- The Me Who Got Away
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Mousy brown hair. The cutest nose. Someone who was willing to reach out for anyone, because he believed there was a lot of good in everyone. He was naive, and would follow the worng crowd. He would spend so much time out with friends, and so little time at home, apart from meals and for a place to sleep. He was different from everyone else - not scared to dress differently and act differently. His unique and giving nature was often misconstrued as homosexual tendencies, which he never quite understood. You don't have to be gay to be just as friendly to guys as you are girls. but that's the crowd he was with - very caveman-like. He never fitted in with these people, but they were the popular people, and what better feeling is there than to feel like you're part of something that can feel so big when you're small?
He never really had much luck with girls. He wasn't quite the right material for the popular girls that were part of the group he was with.
He took his family for granted as he believed that the friendship group he was in was so important - he really did live and breathe for these people, as he sat there like a naive puppy, putting up with all the bullying, passing it off as jokes. And he really did. They didn't get to him. But as one person began bullying, so did another, as it seemed that he was a good, easy target. He was smarter, he wasn't a very sporty person, he like to reach out and he would pass bullying off as jokes. Perhaps people believed he was like a jack-in-a-box - if they kept on, he'd break. But he never did, at least not from their doing.
That person has scrapped much of his personality, he has become someone who is extremely paranoid. He thinks people are all just playing a game against him - wanting to get close, then when there's a good chance, they can escape, leaving him stranded. He smiles a lot more, becuase no one qustions how the smiley kid is doing.
If he was the person he used to be, but in the group of friends he was now, life would be a much easier task. But then again, there's more parts to this equation. Sudden snaps in everyday life can change a person. And that can make going back impossible. That person has gone. That person was me.
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- What I'm Avoiding
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People. Reality. Me. You. Reaching out. A sad face. Resolutions to problems becuase of the risk factor.
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- What I'd Say to My 16-Year-Old Self
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Run. Don't look back, don't question it, just do it.
