- hello M. Anita Butler
- Username: ladynorth
- In response to: "If you could be a member of any band, what would it be?" Can't I say that I just want to BE David Crowder (of David Crowder*Band)? I mean, the hair, the voice, the mad guitar skills, the fact that he can make unicorns and sparkles magically appear...
- ladynorth's latest answers
- Which Thing Could I Critique
If I were a food critic, I would be able to attend all kinds of swanky restaurants, and eat their finest vittles. I would enjoy that. I love food.
If I were a book critic, I would get free access to loads of brilliant books. My library would probably triple in a very very short space of time. I would enjoy that also. I love books.
But in critiquing food, if I didn't like the food, I'd be saying to some poor chef who'd spent hours slaving away trying to cook a decent meal. In critiquing a book, I would, if I didn't like it, be tearing apart the hours of work made by some aspiring author. I wouldn't like doing that (unless it was a Stephanie Meyer book - how can she have studied English Lit and then come out with Twilight?!?!).
But a film, I could critique. I mean, the golden rule in film-making is not to believe your own reviews. So if I said, for example, "Hugh Laurie was horrible in that movie" (as if, Hugh Laurie is AMAZING!) Hugh Laurie would say "pfft - Marley Butler, what does she know?"
If he even reads reviews.
Also, I've read awful reviews about movies that I've thought were brilliant. I really liked 'Ned Kelly' (the one with Heath Ledger, not the one with Mick Jagger), and I read reviews where the critics all but tore it to bits.
So basically, being a film critic just requires you to form an opinion. Eloquently. I could do that.
- Close encounters of the Native Australian kind
Those things are mean, evil wenches
There I was, a small blonde Marley of three or four, enjoying a day out in the elements with my parents.
Suddenly an emu emerges from the bush and starts long-legging its way in my direction. No, I'm not even kidding. So there I am, freaking out as this giant bird with a pointy beak starts bearing down upon me. Mum is screaming out for Dad to do something, and then, just as the emu is in pecking-range, Dad leaps in front of me, yelling "vwhooshka!" in a very manly fashion, and the emu promptly turns around and runs off.
Yeah, that's right. Don't mess with my Daddy.
- $1000? All for me?
$1000? For me? You shouldn't have [taken so long]! Quick - to the Tardis! (Hey maybe I could get my miniature Tardis now? We shall see!)
First Stop - IKEA. Finally I can get that new lounge I've needed for the past five months. Help me carry it to the checkout? Thanks. Come on, we've paid, let's get this puppy to the car! Are you in? Belted up? Onwards!
Second Stop - earthborn homewares. Another long-overdue purchase of a hatstand. Hey look, a mirror that I like. And I do need one. Don't worry about how we'll get it all in the car - we'll make it fit! Come on, I've still got four hundred dollars to spend!
Third Stop - the ABC Shop. Do they have a Tenth Doctor Tardis? *scan, scan, scan* RESULT! Oh, look. They're having a sale on all eleven seasons of M*A*S*H*! Should I get it? What do you think, cause I'm not sure. Oh, we'll leave it. As Grandpa says "when in doubt, don't". I can always save up and buy it another time.
Fourth Stop - Myer. Finally I can justify buying that Miss Chi Chi perfume. What about some Clinique? Should I treat my skin? Nah, by the time I run out my skin will be a spoilt brat. But I will take that top-notch lash curler. Right, onwards once more.
Fifth Stop - QBD. It's book buying time! Diary of Anne Frank, The Constant Princess, Our Sunshine - oo, look a non-Disneymovie edition of Prince Caspian that I don't have - the two other books in the Sword of Shannara Series, the Return of the King, the Illustrated Screwtape Letters...okay, that's enough now I think. Oh look, the final Maximum Ride book is on sale. And that cookbook looks excellent. Right, now I'm done. Probably.
Oh wait, is that a copy of Contest?
Sixth Stop - I'm getting hair extensions and I don't care what you say. They would look a bit naff though. Alright, I won't.
Seventh Stop - Big W Plants. I want this one, and this one, and that one. At last my front garden can be presentable. Right, how much is left? $70? Still? What to do, what to do.
I know, I'll get some petrol.
- Making History
When I was eleven, two planes were flown into the World Trade Centre in New York, killing thousands of people. I first heard about it before school, reported as a plane crash on an ABC news bulletin (the 'A' here signifying' Australian'). I didn't understand the scale of it until later. Up until this point in my life, I hadn't even heard of the Twin Towers. But after that fateful day, it would dominate news broadcasts and playground conversations for months. A year later, we would still be reeling from it. Even today, this event continues to affect airline safety worldwide.
This year, nearly two months before my twenty-first birthday, a magnitude 9.0 earthquake struck the north-east coast of Japan, right near Sendai. It triggered a tsunami that is believed to be over ten metres high. Some affected areas may never be reclaimed from the sea. In these three months of natural disasters, this effected me the most. Even though Toowoomba, where many of my family lives, was hit by an inland tsunami, even though Rockhampton, where I grew up, and Brisbane, where I live, were flooded, the Japan Disaster rocked me greater than these. It wasn't the scale; it had rocked me long before I knew that. It was a spirit thing.
Those two tie for most significant. But I had trouble determining the third. Do I list the death of Princess Diana when I was seven, or the election of the first female Prime Minister of Australia last year? Do I list the day Australia officially entered the Iraq War when I was thirteen, or the Bali Bombings when I was twelve? Do I list the election of the first African-American US President, or the day John Howard finally got booted out of office?
Quite frankly, as tragic, or sad, or momentous as those events were...none fo them deserve it.
- Jus yer typical arvie round the barbie
"Oi mate, where's yer barbie?"
"It's in the boot. Give us a hand?"
"Righto. Strewth, how heavy is it?"
"I reckon hey. Where should we put it?"
"Everything's set up in the backyard. Cheers for bringin' this puppy hey."
"Na worries mate. Just hope Macca remembers the snags."
"True that. Fancy a cold one? Got a couple-a stubbies in the esky, you can crack one open if you like."
"Thanks, but I gotta drive."
"You still on yer P's?"