- hello Laelia Hunt
- Username: laelia_hunt
- In response to: "What is the one thing you consistently spill on yourself?" Bits of hardened chocolate from choc top ice creams you can buy when you go to the movies. Sometimes I realize I've done it. Usually I don't. Realization usually happens in the car driving home!
- laelia_hunt's latest answers
- A Mystery Wrapped In An Enigma . . . Or Is It?
Plinky.com asked me:
"Tell us something most people probably don't know about you."
Most people don't know.
That my life hasn't turned out the way they think it has.
I'm not as straight as an arrow.
I've a slight history.
I don't believe in the Catholic god of our familial history.
I hate how things have gone alot of the times.
I think that life is fair and unfair.
I can't switch my brain off.
I want to write for the rest of my life.
I do [contrary to popular belief] like my job.
I really do love to drink. Probably too much.
I eat too much. When I'm happy. When I'm frightened. But you already know this one. You can see it and you've suspected it. Even if you've never seen me do it.
I hate that I've become almost a cliche in my own life . . . and love people who will not love me.
Those are only some things. Just some.
But who will actually know those things? Those things that most people don't know.
I have to say that I'm quite good at hiding some of these things but they have a way of revealing themselves.
And if you know me you know these things anyway. Even if you didn't know them consciously. You know you did. You just had to admit it to yourself.
That however, is another story.
- Over Again?
"If you could live your life over again, would you choose to do it? Why or why not?"
There are so many things that you can change with the power of rewind. Hindsight makes that feeling of wanting to rewind so palpable doesn't it? But I only wish it for a small moment. Always for a small moment.
One of the great things about my luck and happenstance is this - I've liked who I've become as I've gotten older. I like me more. I like who I'm turning into. Even though I bemoan and express feelings of desperation and inadequacy half the time, the person I am . . . it's better than who I was five years ago. Ten years ago. And it's because of all those things that I couldn't control and that I can't change.
I don't really want a perfect life. Or better life. Or something easier even. I don't think any of those things can guarantee a better perspective on life. Or a better approach to things that could potentially break and destroy my spirit. Why would I want to choose to do things differently if it doesn't guarantee that I'll still be who I am?
If I could tell those who I lost that I loved them a bit more, maybe. If I could change the way I treated others then maybe. Otherwise, would I choose it?
- The Soundtrack Of My Life. So Far.
Plinky.com asked me:
"What song, when you hear it, transports you back in time? What time in your life does it transport you to? Describe that time in your life in detail."
Dear lord. I LOVE songs. Which is why I love apps like Soundtracking and SoundHound. But I digress.
Songs that take you back and that time in my life.
Last year, D.S.S were singing Apple of My Eye on YouTube. My niece was thrashing it when she came to visit for her school holidays and the kids at work were dancing to it as part of a remix that was their backing track.
Driving around in the sunshine with my best friends kids found us singing alot of Ne-Yo and Calvin Harris. The 3 year old at home wanted Rudimental's "Feel the Love" replayed at least a million times. He was in love with the video clip and the horses that starred in them.
In the middle of the year my niece and I were jamming out to Jay-Z and Kanye's "N**as in Paris". As a teenager in turmoil the song appealed to her and now I think of no one else when I hear it.
And every child at work was breaking out in Gangam styled dance moves anytime they could.
Three years before that, I was sweating like a pig under a burning Sydney sun listening to the Ian Carey Project's "Get Shaky" and wondering why the hell it ever got so hot in that town. I was turning up Esther Dean's "Drop It Low" when I crashed my best friend's car. Still love the song but it is permanently tacked to that memory in my brain.
Three years before that I remember hearing alot of Chamillionaire's "Riding Dirty" and thinking about how grills really changed the way a person looks.
Diana Ross and Fleetwood Mac will always remind me of my mother. God rest her soul.
Life between working and university involved a whole lot of Alanis Morrisette, Lauryn Hill , Usher, TLC, Live, and all sorts of interesting music that made me mouth drool then. I loved the $10 CD's I could score from shops that still sold CD's in the middle of Queen Street. Mariah Carey, SWV, Ma-V-Elle.
Robbie Williams reminds me of my first jobs. In a call centre. On a factory floor. He was the hold music customers listened to. He was the concerts we screamed at in our late teens.
Bros. Mel and Kim. NKOTB. Milli Vanilli. Wham. Fleetwood Mac. Roxette. U2. Queen. Connie Francis. Charlie Pride. All of them remind me of being a primary school kid that scabbed personal cassette tape players. Saturday morning music shows. Grease. I loved it all. Except the likes of The Rocky Horror Picture Show or The Sound of Music. Didn't understand all of that at that time.
I hope music continues to attach itself to the good and bad times in my life. I like that it's a part of my narrative. And I hope it stays that way.
- To Do-Over or Not To Do-Over? That's the Question.
Plinky.com asked me:
"If you got one do-over in life, no questions asked, what would you choose to do over? Why?"
So I answered . . .
The one thing that I could do over. No questions asked.
That's a tough one. Alot of the worst things that have happened in my life have resulted in some of the best things I have in my life.
I joined a cult. I met some of the best friends I have in my life. Even now after exiting the cult, almost 17 years later, these people are some of the closest people in my life.
I said no to a boy who chased me down when I was 21. After he found he probably couldn't the girl of everyone else's dreams I was still a viable option for his happiness. If I had said yes I'd be married right now and possibly the size of two houses after pushing out at least 2 kids at a minimum. Whilst dressing like an unhappy man.
I lost my mother at a young age. Her untimely death was a catalyst for leaving the cult and finding the life I live now.
My brother and his partner at the time fell pregnant early. They were like a couple on 16 and pregnant. My niece is one of the best things that has happened to our lives.
So far, everything has had a strange silver lining. So far. I know that's not always going to be the case but if I change even one small thing. The school I went to. The haircut I got when I was 17. The fact I always wanted to go to church. Who would I be right now? Would it be better? Would things still be the same? Would I be happy?
- Letter to (Future) Me
Be kind to yourself and others. Right to the end.
A recent Plinky.com prompt encouraged the following:
"Write a letter to yourself in 20 years."
So I wrote:
I hope this letter finds you well. I don't know whether or not you took all the chances you wanted to. Are you happy with the decisions you made? Would you have changed anything?
I wonder what you would tell me. I'm not even sure what to tell you. What could I tell you? Really? You're older and hopefully wiser now. You know what kind of state I'm in and I have no idea whether or not you'd still be alive or if you've suffered a fate worse than death (I hope you haven't. I know how we hated the idea of pain!)
Anyway. My dearest future self. I hope this finds you well. And I hope, that no matter what happens, that you are happy with the decisions you've made. That you don't regret how things have turned out. That you're not afraid of life. Your life. Or the lives of others. That you're still embracing the potential of how things can be. Will be. Are. That you never give in to ease just so that you don't suffer or just so you don't have to do any work. That you followed your heart all the way to your current position in your life.
You are still are wonderful. Be kind to yourself and others. Be patient with yourself and others. Forgive yourself as much as you forgive others. You are still that important. I love you, even now.
And you're never too old to dance in the rain. Teach your children that it's ok to do so.