Max Harris - Plinky Answers

The Soundtrack for Summer, that is Obliquely About Summer: Rush - Freewill, Judas Priest - Living After Midnight, and ZZ Top - Cheap Sunglasses

2009-07-09T08:29:17-06:00

The message, while intellectual, is the key to summer fun. "I will choose a path that's clear, I will choose free will." Summer fun is about freedom and choice.

Plus, the insane guitar solo by Alex Lifeson doesn't hurt.

Living After Midnight by Judas Priest

"Living after midnight, rockin to the dawn
Lovin' til the morning, then I'm gone, I'm gone"

That is summer love. Summer friends. Summer itself. It is here, it is great, and then it is gone and it's a memory.

PS- LAM >>> Kiss's Rock and Roll All Night... No. Really.

Cheap Sunglasses by ZZ Top

Cheap sunglasses >>> designer shades. And if it's summer, you gotta have shades. They can be a headache remedy ("when the light is hurt your head"). They can be an aphrodisiac ("but what really knocked me out..."). They can be a disguise ("With the glass so dark, they won't even know your name.") And best of all, they are cheap.

Underwear and books, the travel essentials. Everything else can be replaced.

2009-05-12T09:11:43-06:00

Underwear
Really, whatelse do you need?

a book
and yet, you can find bookstores everywhere. English language ones, too. I'm looking into a Kindle, though.

Nothing material is worth your tears... save em for the real heartbreaks.

2009-05-11T14:14:43-06:00

So, there's not much point in crying over what is done and can't be undone.
The choices were:
Spilled Milk: Which is on the floor and can only be mopped up. It cannot really be salvaged. Crying won't really help.

Stubbed Toe: Which has already had the damage done and crying isn't gonna undo it.

Spilled Wine: Same as the milk, only you probably have a nasty stain to go with it. See a dry cleaner. They can do their best.

Sports Defeat: Unless you are on the team and it's the playoffs, you shouldn't cry. Why? If you aren't on the team, you are over invested. Even the 2004 ALCS didn't make me cry. Boston fans cry, real fans do not. If you are a player, there is always tomorrow to pick up your game and make em pay. Unless it's the playoffs.

Lost Election: I'm gonna say, okay to cry over this. Elections are moments, and you can't undo what was done, so there's really nothing left but the crying. Consider, John McCain. Had no chance of winning, probably knew it, and still fought a reasonably honorable (if completely disorganized) fight. He could cry, because it's not like he's coming back in 2012.

'Titanic': No use crying in movies, but especially Titanic. Let me break this down for you. You are young and stuck in a bad relationship. You meet a poor guy, who shows you how to live for a week, and then he's gone. Maybe you weep if you're Rose, but Jack was gonna leave you anyway since you didn't really have money left (else you wouldn't be marrying Billy Zane in the first place). Some of your love for Jack is Stockholm syndrome anyway. You love him because you're trapped together and he's new and interesting. This isn't marriage or life commitment material, it's excuse to get away from Billy Zane and your shrewish mother.

Now, if Jack and Rose survive, get married, have kids, and then Jack leaves her holding the kiddie bag (or really, imagine they hook up and it ends up like Revolutionary Road), now that's reason to cry.

My Supergroup, featuring guys who have all been in Supergroups, their name, The SuperGroup: Steve Vai, Chris Cornell, Chad Smith and Kip Winger!

2009-05-08T13:44:55-06:00

Chris Cornell
He's on my mind after writing about Black Hole Sun today on Facebook. He's done two supergroups before, and he's a pretty damn good vocalist.

Kip Winger
Under appreciated bassist, great musician, and really, if he's still in musical shape, the core of this band. Since I think the rhythm section is really the key to group success, I think you have to have stars at the bass and drums position. Only those folks aren't just hanging around looking for work. Which might be why most supergroups fail in the first place. Lack of great bassists and drummers. People don't kick great drummers or bassists out of bands.

Chad Smith
I don't know why this guy isn't in the Chili Peppers anymore, but since he's currently in Chickenfoot, and I find myself into chickenfoot, in spite of the presence of Sammy Hagar (the Horrible), I have to give props to Chad, Michael Anthony and Satch.

Chad was probably the best drummer who was ever in the rotating drum lineup of the peppers. Definitely works here. Plus, he's already been in a super group, so he probably knows the territory. Probably doesn't bring a lot of bad habits, either.

Steve Vai
First off, I like the technical guitarists with high production value. And they are all kind of freelance, save Petrucci and a few lesser lights. So, the question is, Malmsteen (who I think would work terribly in a supergroup that wasn't his idea first), Eric Johnson, Satriani or Vai. Since all three were on Satch's G3 tour at one point or another, they can all play nice in a group of stars. Since Satch is currently making Chickenfoot workable, that'd seem to go is his favor. But, let's make the case for Vai. Experience? Well, there was the David Lee Roth band with DLR, Billy Sheehan and Greg Bisonette. Oh, and his work with Frank Zappa. And Whitesnake. Yes, actually, I give the supergroup edge to Vai. And, as I get older, I am growing to prefer Vai over Satch anyway.

When I was broke, I lived on: Bricks of Ramen, Store Brand Mac & Cheese and Rice.

2009-05-05T08:52:31-06:00

Maruchan Instant Lunch

Maruchan Ramen, Pork flavor.
Lemme get this straight. You get a hot, filling meal from tap water, a wee bit of gas to boil it, and something between a dime and a quarter. It comes in a dozen flavors, so it doesn't exactly get old. You can add stuff to it, like slices of ham, or pepperoni chips or even an egg or some veggies. You can even make it in a coffee maker if you don't have a pot and a stove.

I do not eat cheap ramen anymore. I don't eat a lot of carbs so I am just not into this. If I am on a carb binge or on vacation, I might go out and get the real deal, rather than the ersatz version, but really, I'm a little past being this broke now and the carbs.

I have a brick ramen tip for you: Add the powder to the water before the noodles, and boil it up with the powder in the water. This will flavor the noodles better than the directions on the package (boil water with noodles, when noodles are soft, stir in flavor).

Second runner up: store brand macaroni and cheese. Not the Kraft brand, I'm talking the store brand. It's the same thing, only 1/3rd to 1/4th the price. A few tips here: 1- add some cheese to your mix. An ounce of actual cheddar, regardless of quality, improves the Hell out of the product, in terms of taste and texture. 2- For richer sauce, use cream instead of milk. For a richer sauce on the cheap, no milk, double butter. An egg yolk works well for richness as well, if you are careful. 3- A little protein goes nicely here. Some ham or those seasoned chicken strips. We're getting out of poverty territory here, but still.

Third: Rice. With cheese or ham or soy sauce or whatever. Fry it with an egg and some bouillon.

Six Flags Magic Mountain wasn't as fun as you'd think... a headache will do that.

2009-05-01T09:44:02-06:00

Theme park + Headache != fun.

I dunno what was wrong with me, but the last time I went to Magic Mountain, I developed a massive headache after one roller coaster and that was the second to last time I have been. I looked at it as a sad moment, getting "old." But really, I think I was sick or something.

My fight posse: 3 of my wife's celebrity crushes (to be crushed), 3 professional bull riders, an MMA champ, a boxing champ, my friend Gene, and the Learning Artist formerly known as Josh Waitzkin.

2009-04-30T15:34:24-06:00

Guillherme Marchi
Have you seen what Bull Riding is like? If the man can face down a literal ton of bull, he can face down whatever. Plus, he's from Brazil, so I suspect he can snap and dance.

Adriano Moraes
Ditto, only Adriano was first.

Ty Murray
Bull riding + Dancing with the Morons... If we're to have a tough guy who can dance contest, I dunno who's beating Ty. Not as big as Adriano or Guilherme, but he's a wiry kind of tough.

Gene Hodges
If you know my friend Gene, you know why. If you don't, it's your problem.

Jeff Goldblum
Really, I'm just hoping he'd get messed up and my wife would stop having a crush on him.

Ralph Fiennes
Ditto.

Jeremy Sisto
More of the same. Mess up that face like he messes up his hair.

Randy Couture
Need an actual fighter.

Manny Pacquiao
Maybe two real fighters.

Josh Waitzkin
He's the general. He deploys my wife's three crushes to the front, to tire out their guys beating them to death, then unleashes the bull fighters to really wear em down and maybe kick some ass. Then Gene, Pacman and Couture, all rested against their tired troops, beat the hell out of em. And anyone still standing has to deal with Waitzkin himself, world champion martial artist.

Flaming hair, flaming food, and a hot presentation... How I've been on Fire!

2009-04-29T10:39:39-06:00

Hrm. Once, in high school, we were throwing matches at each other and my hair caught on fire in the back a little. That was the second time my hair had caught fire, the first was from a very hot lamp in bed. Burned me and a Raggedy Andy doll's hair. Raggedy Andy took it better than I did.

In Thailand, I got burned out on spicy food. Every dish more spicy than the last. On our last day there, I tried to opt out, and got a coconut milk soup. It was the spiciest thing I'd ever eaten (including the world's hottest hot wing). I was lit for hours.

Figuratively, I dunno. Can you be "on fire" on a test? In a quiz? In a presentation? I'm gonna go with a presentation I made at OPM. Time blurred and the audience was mine. Felt like a rock star. Then left, drove 5 hours down to Virginia Beach to see Styx (not as good as you'd think they should be) and Foreigner (a lot better than you'd think).

My journey, abridged.

2009-04-28T11:33:59-06:00

Failed TV career, failed relationship led to an MBA and a wife.
MBA led to a job with the Government, wife led to responsibility.
Job led to a promotion to Chicago.

I have a good job and a great wife. That's one way of looking at how I got here.
I have been working Low Carb for about 2.5 years now. That led me to be 40-60 lbs lighter than my peak weight for the past 2 years.

I dunno where else I am.

Given my choice of celebs to talk 5 minutes of sense to, I would just leave them alone and enjoy the spectacle.

2009-04-28T11:27:00-06:00

Why would you talk sense into a wayward celebrity?

Consider, if there were no wayward celebrities, how would you fill your free time? What would become of People, Us Weekly, OK! and all the other tabloids? What would their staffs do to pay their rent? But more importantly, I think Britney has the right to be a bad mom (and go to jail, and do whatever). I think Chris Brown has the right to be a complete screwup in his relationship with Ciara (and the right to have charges pressed). I think Paris has the right to be as gross as she wants to be and as trashy as her inheritance and her other funds will allow her. Tom Cruise can be as insane as he can afford and Amy Winehouse can be as drunk, addicted and screwed up as she wants to be. Free country. They are allowed to screw up massively and we are allowed to laugh and blog and enjoy the crap out of it all.

Cordon Bleu Cookbook: Indispensible Reference or Complete Waste?

2009-04-27T08:18:51-06:00

I could go with the cats, but instead I'm gonna go with my Cordon Bleu cookbook. I have never made anything from it, I have not really learned any technique from it, and really, it just takes up space. It probably needs to go. I have other cookbooks like this, but none has the tenure on my shelf and been more useless. Except the Ramen cookbook. I don't even eat packaged ramen anymore.

What runs the earth? We do. We Do. We the people are really running things on Earth.

2009-04-24T09:15:51-06:00

Let's run down the list...
Chimps: they run their little show, but some folks consider them bushmeat. They might be endangered, as a species, by us. We might be individuals in harm's way because of them. Species extinction versus really horrible beat down and death of one person... we win.

Dolphins: They run their little show, but if you ate tuna in the 80's, I have some bad news for you... They are fearsome predators. We screw up their environment. We "win" again.

Elephants: They are endangered due to habitat encroachment and poaching. Who is driving here? Now, I don't want to be in front of one that's pissed, but I wouldn't want to be an elephant roaming an increasing arid continent, looking for some water.

Dogs & Cats: They might own us, but they are also dependent on us.

Squirrels: Do not be absurd.

We run the show. We take the responsibility. We take the blame.

I find eveyrone offensive, but here are the top 3.

2009-04-24T09:10:12-06:00

Religous Zealots
I'm not religious. You can be as religious as you want. But when you start enforcing your religious based moral code on secular me, you are gonna get some pushback and you probably aren't going to like it. And I am probably going to make your "what offends you" list. Which is okay, since you are mostly offensive all the time anyway.

Ignorant people
People who do not know and don't want to know. Sarah Palin and the folks who like her, I'm looking at you.

Idiots
Uhm, actually they are amusing rather than offending. As long as they are on TV, and not in actual close proximity.

Forget Sweet Talk, Let's Make a Deal!

2009-04-15T08:44:56-06:00

I don't sweet talk. I negotiate. I'm pretty good. Not great. I have a few simple rules for negotiating:
1- Know what you want, in as much detail as possible, before you start.
2- Develop your Alternatives to improve your position.
3- Understand your opponent's position, if possible, better than he understands it.

I could add a fourth rule, which is to make sure you understand if it's an iterative game or a non-iterative game... If you are going to play again, you should not try to shark your opponent too badly. If you are NEVER going to cross this bridge again, let loose the NAPALM and take all.

I could write another 1000 words on this, but this is the core.

Oh, to be in Paris, France, even though I just got back. If I could talk the wife into retiring there, I'd retire tomorrow.

2009-04-14T13:32:26-06:00

The sights: Amazing. And I grew up in New York, which has it's own sights. The museums, amazing (like New York, only better stuff from the big french movements). The food: Fan-f-ing-tastic. From cheap pastries and falafel to fancy dinners. Wonderful time.

Rules of relationships: Listen first, then make compromises and be responsive.

2009-04-13T10:39:41-06:00

Listen a lot
Really, it comes down to listening. Attentively. If you don't listen you won't be able to...

Respond to your SO's needs
And really, maintaining a health relationship is about being like a blade of grass in a windstorm, rather than a brittle twig. You don't have to subjugate your wants, but you have to accommodate the stuff that is important to the other person.

Three Songs that I Would Invent a Time Machine to Ensure Never Existed: Wind Beneath My Wings, My Heart Will Go On, and I-EYE-EYE Will Always Love You

2009-04-10T07:59:53-06:00

The common link here is that these were all featured very prominently in sappy movies that made a collective billion dollars (actually, #2 alone made a billion dollars). The next time a big singer has a big song on a movie that trailers like a total epic chick flick/weepy filck, I think I will try to take a two week vacation to Mars.

Wind Beneath My Wings by Bette Midler

Overplayed by about a million times, and really sappy and gross. And the movie was terrible.

My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion

Overplayed by about a million times, really sappy and gross, and worst of all, it really launched the annoying and nigh omnipresent career of Celine Dion into another stratosphere. Thanks James Cameron.

I Will Always Love You by Whitney Houston

Let's see, overplayed by about a million times, really sappy and gross, and, really hard to sing, so not only does it get used on Idol and every other singing competition show a lot, it gets brutally murdered just about every time. The only thing worse than a gross, sappy, overplayed song, is an incompletely butchered gross, sappy, overplayed song. (For how to do it for real, find those two insane Scottish guys who covered J-Lo's Jenny from the Block. Or anything by Richard Cheese.

A haiku about Last House On The Left

2009-04-09T10:07:40-06:00

serial killers
rape girl, hide with her kin and
get microwaved.

When I grow up... I want to be pretty much where I am now... maybe I am growed up.

2009-04-08T21:07:28-06:00

Troubleshooter for Hire.

The question is: What do I want to be when I grow up? I think, for the most part, I have grown up. My business card (should I decide to get out) says Management and Program Analyst. But really, it could read Government Troubleshooter. So, maybe I'm there already. Would like to be paid more, but other than that, it's all pretty good.

My Vice: Music Theft: A history, a defense and the way back to Jesus

2009-04-08T21:02:12-06:00

duke4

My vice would be music theft. I started before Napster. First, there was BMG. It wasn't strict theft, but when you have ten aliases so you can get the friend referral bonus CDs in addition to the sign up CDs for shipping.

Then, I got a very early CD burner that took 70 minutes to burn a CD and I made a good number of CDs back then. I got it to convert audio tapes to CD. It took a couple hours to rip the audiotape, convert it to .wav, burn it to CD. And it frequently crashed in mid burn, blowing a $1+ writable CD. This was not a good way to go.

Next came Napster. I got into Napster late. And I never liked it as much as Audiogalaxy. AG was the best thing. Kind of like uncompressed torrents, with peer to peer, through a website. Very convenient for finding odd stuff. Very easy to get pop stuff, but the pop has always been easy. It's the rare stuff, the foreign language stuff, the import white label stuff that separates the good service from the bad one. AG was best as this sort of thing.

Then I rediscovered Usenet binaries, which was not as good in terms of getting specific things, but great in terms of random additions. You could request, someone might post, but the volume of the groups made it hard to find stuff. But, you could just scroll and point and shoot. I got a ton of albums, and I even liked some of them.

Now, it's torrents. Torrents are really the best, except that audiogalaxy was better at getting really obscure things. But with torrents, most of everything that has ever been mainstream can be found. And had reasonably quickly.

In defense: for most of my career as a music thief, I wound up buying a lot more albums than I normally would. Even more than the ones I got from BMG. I still buy more records than the average person my age, and for that, I think of music theft as browsing in a big store, only you can walk out with the product. Really, try before you buy. And reconsider later.

The thing that is making me quit is ennui. And the logistics of keeping it all organized. I am quitting.

Keeping in touch from Westport, CT to Austin, TX, or failing to.

2009-04-08T19:00:35-06:00

It didn't work. I sent some gifts. We called and wrote. Here's the thing... they say absence makes the heart grow fonder. And for me that was true. But what they ignore is that absence from a party town like Austin is really an open door to rivals.

Kindle 2 or iPhone 3g, please... I know they're coming. It's just a matter of time.

2009-03-21T10:05:51-06:00

Yeah, I'm kinda giddy: Amazon Kindle unboxing

iPhone or a Kindle. Probably the Kindle, because I would use it a lot more.

I am a massive reader. I commute daily. I would like a Kindle because it would drop new books to $10 a piece and I could get massive hardcovers and not have to lug them around. They get heavy in the briefcase.

On the other hand, many are the times when I would have had use for the iPhone beyond what my very smart dumb phone could do. Like yesterday, would have liked to have some google maps /zagat mashup while I was downtown at Macy's and not really sure where to eat. Can think of a ton of other uses, but I don't really talk on the phone that much. Can I get everything on it, with internet and everything, without cell phone?

Rock your way through your breakup with Dokken, Boston and Ozzy (with a guest appearance by GnR).

2009-03-20T08:26:03-06:00

Breaking the Chains by Dokken

Dokken is breaking the chains around him, and you are breaking the chains that your bad relationship had around you. Listen to the man.

Don't Look Back by Boston

Don't Look Back is Tom Scholtz attempt to explain the optimism about the future and the futility of moaning over what's gone. Tom is a brilliant guitarist, so-so lyricist, but his heart is in the right place, and damn, those layered guitars make me forget whatever is going on.

No More Tears by Ozzy Osbourne

If the girl was a real piece of work, you can let Ozzy and Zakk Wylde murder her during the break of this song. Since Ozzy was theoretically happily married to Sharon at this time, we can wonder what girl he's putting out of her misery. Or we can just project that it's Geezer Butler and Tony Iommi of Sabbath. Any rate, if you used to love her but you want to kill her, let Ozzy do your dirty work. And then get the GnR song "Used to Love Her".

The best prank I ever saw involved a 5 story high school and ten thousand ladybugs.

2009-03-20T08:04:55-06:00

The best prank I ever saw

Lil ladybug

When I was a sophomore, the senior class at my high school released several thousand lady bugs into the school's ventilation system. For months, you would be in class, in the auditorium, in the lunch room, around the building (in lower Manhattan, New York City) and one or two lady bugs would fly out and land on your book or your table. Touch of whimsy, harmless to everyone save ladybugs, and lasting. Perfect.

'Ball Four' by Jim Bouton will make a baseball fan LOL

2009-03-18T10:34:14-06:00

If you like baseball and you haven't read Jim Bouton's memoir of the 1969 season, you need to get up to speed.

A candid look through a funny guy at life on a terrible baseball team and a great baseball team. Funny from start to finish.

I'll spend my golden years in Florence, Italy

2009-03-17T10:48:34-06:00

The gelatto. The art. The culture. The boar meat. The big steaks. The middle of Italy. The nearness to the hill towns, food states of Tuscany and Emilia-Romagna. The city, but the peace as well. And the big train station with quick trips to Milan and Lugano and all other parts of Europe.