Sure, I was ten when "Commando" came out. And sure, Alyssa Milano had lots of other things going on at the time, what with the movie's premiere and her contractual obligations to "Who's the Boss?" and all. And fine, finding a way back-and-forth between Minnesota and LA was hard, and it only got harder.

But the love we had that summer, and the following 11 years? It made the travel worth it - not to mention the family turmoil our love affair caused.

You see, it wasn't just that I was a dandy fellow by nature, 10 years going on 56... nor was it my leaning towards pastel outerwear (WAY beyond the messy first-attempt at earth tones we were dealing with in '85). No, it was the confidence I personally brought to Alyssa's fragile id that her parents (and that messy manager Beth) finally put a muzzle on after Alyssa and I attended a "You Can't Do That On Television" wrap party one night (you see, Alistair and the crew shot the finale on a Burbank sound set - a little trivia I bet you didn't know).

I couldn't help it, OK? I had a lot to say. So when Mary Hart stopped us on the red carpet of the "Back to School" premiere the following summer, I just laid it out all there; how we had "too many offers to talk about right now", how we (I) were concepting out a show around gladiators (something "middle America" would get), and how Judith Light's drinking problem was "a bit of an issue", I knew this could hurt us.

So fine. We weren't in the pages of Tiger Beat after that night... and the stills from that toga at Larroquette's didn't help, but whatever. It still totally happened. All of it. Almost like a childhood fantasy.

Every once in a while, I try and move something with my mind. You know, in case I got that magic power all of sudden.