tanning bed

I'm sure that if you ask anyone that knows me, they could each identify one of my different vices.

The vice that's probably worse for me is going to the tanning bed. I know that exposure to the UV light from tanning beds carries a high risk of skin cancer with it, but I tan anyway. I'm taking the risk because I feel peaceful and meditative when I'm in there. It creates an emotional high for me that I usually don't get during the course of a typical day in Oregon, especially since I work in an office with no windows.

Tanning also forces me to relax for at least fifteen minutes when I'm lying in the bed. It's also beautifully warm and cozy in there.

Maybe I'll pay for too much UV exposure someday, and maybe someday I'll choose not to tan anymore, but for now, I'm okay with having a tanning vice.

After all, I have to prove that I'm imperfect somehow. ;-)

If I were describing the country I live in to a foreigner who has never heard of it, it would go something like this:

Hammond's Map of the US

This is a land of patriots. Although you will hear a vocal few shout otherwise, we love, support, and defend our country with devotion.

We are a selfish nation. We consume almost everything to excess--food, natural resources, and material goods.

Most things we eat here are really just lab experiments. Even though we know this, we're still surprised when these same things make us sick.

We're obsessed with ideals. Most people here are chasing perfection.

Our land is beautiful. Snow-capped mountains, white sand beaches, breathtaking architecture--we've got it all.

Most people here are God-fearing. However, the populous is shifting from amateur missionaries to a quieter kind of conviction.

We are angry at each other all the time. We are stressed, we are impatient, and, increasingly, we prefer the company of our belongings to the company of one another.

We would do well to take advice from other countries instead of proclaiming ourselves the only superpower in the world. Sometimes, even the French do things better than we do.

No one really knows what happens in Nebraska. The seaboards are where all the action is.

We welcome you with open arms--but we'd really like it if you learned to speak English. We're happy to learn your traditions as well, but you're here now, so respect ours.

This is a Christian nation when things are going poorly. We are a nation of atheists when everything is going well.

Try the apple pie. Really, it's delicious.