I much rather listen to his breath a little longer. Delicately touch his black curls, kiss his shapely shoulders. He murmurs something in the language I love and turns to me. I know he would awake any minute now, but for now he holds me in between his arms. My whole world.
What happens next is between me and him. Perhaps partly also between us and the annoyed neighbours. Makes us both hungry.
He makes us coffee and omelette with mushrooms and cheese and I dice the tomatoes and slice the cucumber for the salad, warming up the pita in the oven and watching Al Jazeera English.
Missing this comes naturally.
I always felt that one me is not enough for this fantastically interesting word and I thought that I tend to miss out on so many things... but perhaps...it only expresses my lack of decisiveness when it comes to places and events I want to take part in.
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But I don't so....
I wish I a field of green grass and open space I could see from the massive window of my living room. Where I could see my horses running freely in the morning and kids playing cricket in the afternoon.
I want light and space. Mild climate and fresh breeze. I want easy accessible seclusion.
Only.... where would that be?
Shallow. Written with such speed towards the end that you could almost tell that Dan Brown felt the heavy breath of his publisher on his neck whilst writing.
Nothing that was written in that book was unique or new. The incorporation of the legends and traditional stories in the mediocre crime story, that aspired to be a) interesting b) mysterious was a total failure.
(Come on... I don't know about you, but I knew since childhood that Da Vinci wrote using mirror in fear of being seen as a heretic. And that was one of the major riddles in the story)
This movie is so full of sadness, suffering and womanhood that it scares me it was made by a man.
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It is hard to explain, I guess you just need to be there and feel your own presence in that city that seems out of place and time. Where, although you are in the middle of a deadly conflict, you can forget about the politics, ethnic and religious differences, despite having them in front of you all the time.
The heavy and stuffy atmosphere that smells of salt and sea, herbs and spices, sweet smoke from shishas that are being smoked on the streets, takes your breath away. The sight of mosques,churches and Kabbalah centres next to each other makes you peaceful for a change. And cats. Cats everywhere. With their smooth fur and pointy skulls.
When you think that the humidity will strip you completely from your life the skye answers with a blessed breeze from the deep sea and you know, you are almost sure, that this is the place. The one you would miss until you find yourself in your own bedroom overlooking so completely different world of modern and dynamic Tel Aviv.
The place is truly magical. The place is truly for the witch to live in. On one of the Zodiac-named streets. Next to the wishing bridge. Which does not work as it should anyway. Even the best wishing bridge cannot undo a broken heart. Even the best wishing bridge cannot make him love me. Not even thousands of shooting stars. Not even the magic.
Yaffo is special but a presence of a friend, whom you missed so much in this pathetic and annoying way, makes it unforgettable experience. That friend who became your dearest brother.
And you go for a walk and he takes the most amazing pictures. You can see his love and care in every shot of your tired face. And then, when you exhausted and hungry, you sit on the square with probably the best take away bagel ever made, the best lime with mint and watch Capoeira dancers (yes yes, one's capoeira dancer is another person's capoeira fighter).
If I could stop the time and become the picture frame for ever, I will choose that moment.
I wish I could say, I didn't want to hear what you said today. Oh but that would be such a lie. I wish you told me much earlier in fact, so that I could save myself so many scars. But I knew you wanted good. I knew you didn't want to destroy the perfect moment of my perfect holiday. My perfect image in my heart. And I love you for it.
My dearest friend. I am so sorry, that my writing about this fantastic day we had is so shallow and without emotions. I guess you know and understand why my heart is sealed and I am sure you can forgive me that little imperfections amongst many I have.
2 weeks to go!
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And this is because I tend to laugh out loud hysterically when I look at my sister's facial expression. "Gray Eminence" as we named it!
She claims she looks more like a zombie from the Dawn of the Dead, but I love it.
Besides it was a very good time from Isle of Skye with wonderful people. Hence I am always very happy looking at those pictures. Happy time!
Passing a little pond on our way, we stopped for a while looking at coots and moor hens.
- When I see the moor hens, they always make me think of dinosaurs - I said starring at the bird.
- Yeah, they walk like them. And obviously this is how the dinosaurs evolved. They have a direct link - said David reassuringly.
- What do you think was first? A chicken or an egg? - I asked turning back to the path.
David laughed.
- I suppose the chicken.... no wait...
- The egg! - we exclaimed simultaneously.
- Oh that's so stupid! Of course it was an egg! The reptile had an egg, when it hatched something weird jump put of it. That was a bird.
- A chicken. Yes. Seriously. I don't understand why people think about it so much - approved David - I'm glad we have that sorted. Next.. the meaning of life....
Shhhh.... Don't tell anybody.
I am addicted to this mistake so badly that although my mind is wary of consequences, the heart is screaming that as long everything is good, it's great and you should carry on regardless.
There are loads of mistakes linked to relationships between human beings. First of all, one can decide to be in the relationship in the first place, although it is clear one is the happiest person ever being on one's own.
Second, once one buries one's own freedom of being emotionally independent and steps into the relationship that has no perspectives on the marriage and kids, then one loses the opportunity to actually meet someone with whom one could create a family. But also in my case, the relationships I am in, however hopeless, bring within me the best ever person (at least for a while). I am able to give and offer a lot and as a result at the end of it, I am left with nothing.
But those are just 3 instances I have in mind. The bottom line is, that whatever I will do in my life I will be on my own. As soon I realised that, it made ma actually quite relieved. So what is my problem, one could ask?
Well, my problem is that for people around me, family and friends, this way of thinking about the future is considered a mistake. At the end it should be each women's dream to have a big white wedding and bunch of lovely kids.
Well, it isn't. Not for me. But perhaps I am mistaken. Yet, that mistake is definitely my favourite one:)
My dad used to have a house in Saarbruecken, so whenever we've travelled around Europe, we stayed there for day or two popping out to those lovely places around.
Today I've realised how long ago that was. And I love Luxemburg. It's really beautiful, people are friendly, banks are big:), shopping is good and summers are lovely. And I do really miss those summers.
And Luxemburg is close to everywhere:). Step to the left you have France and Paris in an hour drive or so. Step to the right, you have a beautiful German valley of Saar. Drive an hour or so to the South and you find yourself in Swiss Alps. Go to the North and you are munching on the fresh Belgian chocolate.
Your holidays in West Europe should start there. Enjoy.
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Kelly Clarkson
And I am not really up to date with celebrities. To be honest I didn't know she was one of them. This ordinary gril with pony tail and baseball cup, with the skin far from perfect, looked nothing like THE Kelly Clarkson from the video clip. She was very nice and quiet. Nothing like diva. And she has lovely simle with or without make up.
Pussy Cat Dolls
As with Miss Clarkson, I first saw them in person and then on MTV. And I was shocked how tall they seem to be on the screen. In fact they are very short, although nicely dressed. But very fussy when it comes to food (one of them was changing her room service order 5 times in 20 minutes).
Joe Satriani and his wife Rubena (?)
They were also staying in our hotel. Very nice people.
John Nash
I managed to catch the glimpse of his beautiful mind at Warwick.
Late Pope John Paul II
Shook my hand in Vatican.
Gordon Brown
When he was opening new digital labs at Warwick,
Edyta Gorniak
She is one of the best singers on the Polish musical scene and she is very pretty and talented. Met her way back, at the start of her career before she even had her first album out on the fashion show. She was very sweet. Then later I saw her in the musical 'Metro' and she was awesome.
Salman Rushdie
Had a quick chat with him when he signed my book after his talk at Warwick.
Kasia Nosowska
The vocalist of Polish band 'Hey' walking down the street of my home town... Simled and waved at me, probably because I was staring at her trying to guess where have I seen that face before?
Slavoj Žižek
I will meet him very soon in London - and I think personally this is the most exciting one.
As far as I know Naomi Klein was not sued for writing and publishing that book, so I am guessing (taking into account that non of us is free from bias and some sort of hidden agenda) she largely wrote the truth.
And truth is usually inconvenient or even scary. So I agree with the quote of John Le Carre (from the cover of the book) that 'The Shock Doctrine' is scary as hell.
Anyhow... I think everyone, every single person should read it. Real eye opener, very passionate and interesting book. Well recommended.
London marathon sponsorship Moo MiniCard front
Usually 10 km run makes the trick. You can add the aggressive squash session (solo or with male company will keep you tired). It used to be kick boxing but this might be dangerous to your ribs and I had mine broken last summer. You can calm it down later with swimming for 40 minutes. That's for aggressive stress. For more bitchy mood I use Mundele - my best friend or my sister - also my best friend. Those are two people I can complain and moan and swear. And they will patiently listen and tell me they love me no matter what.
And for the depressive one, sleep is usually the best. The book or comedy show (anything from Fawlty Towers, through Have I got News for You to Scrubs), nice cup of tea and recommended by Nicola White Chestnut drops - they really work. And yes... writing my usual rubbish helps as well.
Also I would put closer together: Carlisle, Atlanta, Vancouver, Bruges, Frankfurt, Stargard and Coventry and I have my happy life with my family:) Dream on.
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Perfect best friend for Tyler Durden.
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Myojo Ramen Char Mee + Korean Kimchi Noodle - Win Sam Chinese Grocery, Glen Waverley
Either I've lost my bank card or someone in finance department fu**ed my payroll.
Either way, not having access to my account I would use those pennies scattered around my pockets, drawers, purses and whatnots to buy myself a hot meal.
Fortunately doesn't happen any more (touch wood) but trust me. I still cannot stand the smell of pot noodles after so many years.
