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- hello Gene Doronila
- Username: mr_gene
- In response to: "Who are you?" I'm a 23 year old Torontonian who's struggling to find out what he wants to do with his life.
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mr_gene's latest answers
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- 3 Things I'm Avoiding
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I've been notoriously avoiding a lot of things.
1) Confrontation - I avoid it, yet I say I want it. Is that a weird thing to say? There are a lot of people I just want to ask, "What's the deal? Why do you insist on treating me like crap?" Unfortunately, I cower when it comes to confrontation.
2) Writing - I get the irony that I'm writing at this very moment but I avoid doing it on a daily basis. I find it funny that I claim to want to be a writer but I do anything but that. I procrastinate by watching TV, reading other books or going out with friends. I have a voice. I have stories to tell. I avoid my own talents.
3) Planning for the future - See above. I want to be a writer. I want to travel the world. I don't want to be stuck in a dead end job (which I am now). There's a constant battle in my mind saying I should be doing this and that. I shouldn't be plugging away at a job that's not making me happy. But I avoid it. Because right now that job is the only thing that's keeping me financially safe.
The more I avoid these things, the less I'll grow as a person. I won't become the person I can be. I can admit that I'm stuck and not sure what I want to do with myself. There are moments when I can pull myself out of the 'rut' only to fall back in a few weeks later.
It's a vicious cycle.
I can't avoid it.
HA!
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- Heart Versus Head
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Thinking about this, I realize I was choosing between my head and my heart a few weeks ago.
Some background on this a few months back I stopped talking to someone completely. No more e-mail, Facebook, Twitter and phone calls. The verbal and electronic communication methods ceased. I had my reasons. For one, we dated in the summer but ended things when it became clear that it wasn't going anywhere. Thinking I was mature enough to deal with the situation as it was, I said we can be friends. (Ironically I said the same thing to someone else a few years back.)
Regardless, there wasn't much communication until a few weeks ago. I usually reflect on a lot that's happened to me. The commute between work and home is the place where I find myself doing a lot of thinking. Being curious I followed up on the Twitter profile I convinced myself to stop following and noticed that this person was moving away.
"Interesting," I thought to myself. I replied to her writing a congratulatory post for taking a step to move away. I did not expect a reply.
It's funny the turns that life can give you. A few days later I did get a reply and we briefly started talking. Checking the profile every now and then I saw that there was a going away party and asked if this was an open invitation to which she replied yes.
I then found myself making a decision. Do I follow my heart to just try to bury the hatchet between the two of us or do I follow my head and avoid the encounter altogether.
It was a big mix of emotions. I still question the decision I made as it's left me in a vulnerable state.
Generally though, my heart wins out over my head. I've been told I have a good one. Whatever that means.
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- What Keeps Me Up At Night? COBRAS!
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I'd say a lot keeps me up at night but I've been trying this new thing where I don't let any worries keep me from getting sleep. Because really, sleep is a valuable tool. I like sleep. It's a good hobby I reckon.
But the usual things that keep me up at night are wondering where I'm going in life. Trying to figure out the future - the sorts of things that I should allow to happen naturally but I can't help but wonder what tomorrow will bring.
Also cobras. Because cobras are scary and stuff.
COBRAS!
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- Salsa! (Not the dip of course!)
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Considering that's what I've been learning the past five months I think it would be the ideal dance to choose. Moving up to Level 3 soon!
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- Would I Survive No Internet for a Whole Month?
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I think I've tried this experiment before and I failed miserably. It was a time when I figured the Internet wasn't something I was attached too so I tried to disconnect myself from the world. But then I realized I need to be connected a lot of the time. Which from what I've seen goes for a lot of people these days. Maybe I'll try this again sometime.
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- How Many Plinky Prompts Have You Answered?
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