Favorite place to grab a cup of coffee? My kitchen, of course. But my favorite place to drink it is in the living room, in a comfortable armchair, with a good book.

Anyplace else I get coffee, it's usually too strong. If I pour it myself, I mix it with hot water. That way it doesn't need so much milk or other sweetener to make it taste good.

I used to add hot chocolate mix to my coffee, plus milk, but since last fall I've tried to stay away from adding sugar to my coffee. At home, I add blackstrap molasses, plus milk. At work, I add unsweetened cocoa powder and powdered milk.

If the coffee isn't too strong, though, and especially if it has good taste (obviously I differ with a lot of coffee drinkers on what tastes good), just some milk is enough.

Killer Bunnies

My husband would love to have a gaming store. All kinds of stuff for role-playing games (Dungeons and Dragons, Champions, and lots of others that I've never heard of because I'm not into gaming the way he is). That means books, figurines, dice, paper with squares or hexagons to map out scenarios on, etc.

And there would have to be room to actually run games in the store, which would mean also selling snacks to eat while gaming. And other kinds of games, because people who like gaming probably playing other games, such as board games, card games, and of course computer games.

Since a lot of that stuff - especially the books and games - can be purchased online, the store would have to compete (with online stores) largely on its ability to do what the online stores can't - bringing together people of similar interests. People can have fun playing online games with players they've never met, but there's something special about getting together in the same room, sharing the fun of what my husband calls "community story-telling."

Since I'm not the gaming enthusiast he is, my role would probably be in support - taking care of the business side of things (I do have an MBA) and the computer systems, keeping things organized, and maybe having a chance to do some creative, arts & crafts kinds of stuff with displays for different kinds of games.

Library books.

My last visit to a library was ... let's see if I can remember ... three days and six hours ago. It was shortly before closing time on Saturday afternoon, and I was there to get my son and my husband the next books in the series they are reading, plus a book on gardening for myself.

I got Lost in a Good Book by Jasper Fforde for my son, though we had trouble finding it because someone goofed when they made the label for the spine of the book, and it was shelved under "Florde" instead of "Fforde." I got Blood of the Fold by Terry Goodkind for my husband, but had to make sure he didn't start reading it until he was done with his busy weekend (it may have been a relaxing three-day weekend for many of us, but it's a very intense time for a pastor).

For myself, I got All New Square Foot Gardening by Mel Bartholomew. I am determined to have a garden this summer, and actually have vegetables grow that I can put in my salads. I'm not sure just how closely I'll follow Bartholomew's recommendations (I've found blogs by people who do things more or less how he says, but think one can be a bit more laid back about some of the details than he is.) But I intend to follow them for the most part.

I also got a couple of magazines, one on cooking so I could look for good recipes (didn't find anything I was interested in), and an old copy of Smithsonian to read while I'm on the elliptical machine at the Y, so I don't have to depend on finding something interesting in their stock of magazines.

You'd think, with the lack of success I've had growing garden vegetables, that I'd give up. And I did, last year. But this year I'm determined to try again.

As a girl, I had no trouble growing cucumbers. Nothing else grew very well (except the chives, I planted one year and they came up again every year, even though we hardly ever used them in our salads). But the cucumbers grew so well that I used to take the extras to the local health food store, which paid me for them, and then presumably sold them to customers.

When we lived in Michigan, I tried planting seeds a couple of years. Each time something sprouted, something (deer? rabbit?) came and ate the plants. I gave up.

Here in Iowa, I have tried several times. Since nothing much came up when I started with seeds, I tried buying plants that had already been started. The only one that really did well was a tomato plant I got at the farmers market.

The tomato plant I got from Menards the following year did OK, but the entire harvest from it would have fit into a quart basket, I think. I didn't pay attention to what variety of tomato plant it was, but it turned out to produce cherry tomatoes, not full-size. It was nice to get two or three on occasion for my salad, but I had expected a bit more. Most people seem to have more tomatoes than they know what to do with.

I was really expecting to have too much on my hands when I tried growing zucchini. But no, not even a single one! The plants produced flowers, but nothing more. I wondered if maybe there was a problem with a lack of bees in the neighborhood to pollinate them. I tried reading about how to do it manually, and then decided I could live without home-grown zucchini.

I tried growing peppers. Nothing - not even flowers on that plant. I tried carrots. The leaves looked fine, but when I tried pulling one up - late in the season when they had had plenty of time to grow - it was a stubby little thing less than an inch long, and tasted horrible.

I decided that the problem must be the soil. When I prepared my garden each year as a girl, all I did was turn the soil and break it up. But now that I think about it, I vaguely remember, the very first year my father helped me start it, that he added stuff to the soil.

I read about square foot gardening, and decided that this year that is what I will try. Rather than try to improve the soil in my yard, I just create an enclosed area and add new soil on top of the lousy soil I already have. It's a bit of an expense the first year, but I shouldn't have to do much with it subsequent years.

So that's my project this week - to put together a small enclosure for my new garden. The book I read recommends a 4-foot by 4-foot area, but I think I'll start even smaller - 2-foot by 3-foot. I really don't have a very big area of yard to work with, considering that most of the yard is well-shaded, plus I don't want it in the area that the dog can reach easily on her tether.

If I get some decent salads out of this, I'll be thrilled, and maybe expand the garden next year. If not, I'm giving up. Again.

I'll post occasional updates on my blog as work progresses.

Long Journey

It's not that I insist on doing things without help. I just don't ask for it if I don't need to. And I will never assume I need help until I've tried on my own.

I have no idea whether this is because my parents wanted to teach us to be independent. They expected us to make our own decisions from a young age, and to go places on our own. If there was something we didn't know how to do, we were expected to try to figure it out.

At school, I never needed help, because things like math and reading came easily to me. If there was anything I didn't figure out right away, I wasn't going to let anyone know that because I had a reputation for being the smartest kid in the class (maybe in the school).

Perhaps it was because I was shy, and asking for help meant initiating a conversation. I didn't ever talk much, even with people I did know. I preferred being alone, and I preferred doing things on my own.

I also was eager to prove that I coud do things, even at a young age. I was the youngest at any family activity, even those that included my cousins. I didn't want anyone to make any accomodations for me being younger and smaller, so I worked at being able to keep up with people with longer legs, and to keep going even if I was tired.

I preferred to be with people who were older than I was, because I other children my own age didn't know as much, and were more likely to act childishly. I wanted to prove that I belonged with older children or adults, so I felt a need to be able to do things without needing help.

Maybe it was some of the books I read. The sort of hero I wanted to be like was one who was independent, who didn't need anyone else for anything. One who could face any difficulty or danger with equanimity, who didn't get upset or excited at much of anything (even positive things). I wasn't like that, really - I've always avoided danger, though not difficulty. But that was my ideal.

I remember going shopping for my mother, which meant walking a mile to the supermarket, and then carrying home the bags of groceries. These were paper bags, of course - plastic bags with handles hadn't come into use yet (at least where we lived). One bag wasn't hard to carry, but two full bags were.

I remember one time the bags were so heavy that I had to stop a few times to rest, and by the time I reached home my muscles were so tired that I could barely hold the bags up. But that was no reason to consider asking for help - it just meant I had to be more careful how much I purchased (weight-wise) in one shopping trip.

These days I almost always drive the car to the store (normally I go on the way home from work), and I use cloth bags with handles. I only have to carry the bags from the car to the house, which means going the length of the back yard (we live on a corner, and the driveway is at the rear of the backyard).

My husband does not understand why I insist on trying to carry everything in one trip, instead of taking one bag, going in the house, and telling the boys to go get the rest. Occasionally I will ask one of the boys to get the rest - but only after carrying as much as I can possibly manage on the first trip.

When it comes to solving puzzles, I especially do not want help. I get very annoyed if someone tries to give help, because I want to solve it on my own. My younger son does not understand this - he is always quite ready to ask for help on something that is hard to figure out. But that takes away the fun of it for me, and certainly takes away the sense of accomplishment in figuring it out.

What do I ask for help on? Coming up with ideas for meals. I get so tired of thinking of what to cook. (Except that now, when I'm trying to cook and eat healthier foods, I don't generally ask because the suggestions are likely to be things I don't want.)

If I have trouble figuring out the notes in a piece of music I'm learning for choir, I'll ask for help. I don't have nearly the sense of music that my husband does (and my older son). I'm also not nearly as good with the piano (every time I have to count white and black keys to find a C).

If there's something heavy to carry at work, I just might ask for help, if there's a man around that I am comfortable asking. (And I couldn't tell you why I am more comfortable asking some than others.) But if I don't find one, I'll go ahead and do it myself.

A few weeks ago, I took down the artificial Christmas tree from the lobby. By the time I finished, most of my co-workers had left for the day. There were a few I could have asked, but no one I knew well. So I decided to try to carry it myself. Not too bad - for the first few yards. It got heavier as I continued down the hall, but I could do it.

Out into the plant, up the stairs to the storage area on the mezzanine. Funny how heavy that tree got as I went higher up the stairs. There were some people sitting on a bench at the bottom, but of course I wasn't going to ask them for help - I didn't know them at all. And since they saw me carrying it, I wasn't going to look foolish by deciding I needed help after all.

Next Christmas I will probably ask for help. Then again, if I keep working out at the Y three days a week, maybe I won't need to...

Scrabble!

When I first saw the question about a board game I would never get tired of, I had trouble thinking of one. When my son asks to play a game, I usually try to think of one we haven't played in a while. Most of them are moderately entertaining, but not something I want to play frequently.

I thought of LIFE, Clue, Trouble, and the various other board games in our "gaming room" in the basement (including a few Al and I made up together). I looked at answers other people had given - checkers, chess, Monopoly. (How could someone *not* get tired of Monopoly?)

Then as I was walking out the door on my way to work I suddenly thought of Scrabble. Oh yes, Scrabble is a board game, isn't it? I can't remember the last time I played Scrabble on an actual gameboard instead of a computer screen.

I log on to Facebook at least once a day, usually more, to see if it's my turn in Scrabble or Words with Friends (similar to Scrabble though not quite as good in my opinion). And sometimes my husband and I play Scrabble (which is also a standalone application) on his computer.

I would probably play it more often if it were loaded on my computer, though I don't find it as fun to play against the computer as against another person. There's no one to exclaim to over lousy letter choices or the fact that the built-in dictionary doesn't allow a perfectly good word, or to suggest good words to (my husband and I regularly offer each other suggestions).

Back when I lived in the Philadelphia area, I had a friend who would occasionally invite me over for dinner and Scrabble (and sometimes to help her with her computer). Those were fun evenings. Playing on a computer is just not the same, though online Scrabble is better than a lot of the other games out there.

Scrabble was the one board game that my mother was willing to play, as I remember. She had no use for activities that were purely for entertainment, but Scrabble was educational. She didn't care if she won, she just wanted to learn new words.

All in all I prefer to win than to lose, but the main thing I like about Scrabble is the game itself. I love word puzzles of any kind. (I amazed myself by finally managing to finish the acrostic from Saturday's Wall Street Journal last night, after four days of struggling with it.) And Scrabble is a great word puzzle.

If you like Scrabble and you're on Facebook, let's play!

I used to want to change the world by writing great books. The more great literature I read, the more I realized how rare is that talent that produces books of truly lasting value. I still would like to write a book someday, but I don't expect it to be anything world-changing.

My own life has been changed by people who took the time and who cared enough to give me encouragement, advice, and above all a good example to follow. There are books I've read that have influenced how I think, but none had nearly as much influence on me as people I have known well.

This made me realize that while I'm unlikely to have any great impact on the world as a whole, I can profoundly influence a few people. My greatest influence is likely to be on my sons, who in turn can have an impact on other people. I don't know if either of them will do anything particularly world-changing, but if they grow up as men of good character who use their gifts to serve others, I will have made some small corners of the world a better place.

And so far, I'd say they're turning out pretty well.

Island of Solitude

introverted, concientious, cautious, curious

Because sometimes you just need to find the MYSTERY CAT

What's strange is that I can't remember anymore why I thought I wouldn't like mysteries. Did I think they'd be scary? Boring? Silly? Poorly written?

What changed my mind wasn't any particular book or books, as far as I can remember, but the fact that I needed a steady supply on books on tape to listen to while I rode my exercise bike. By excluding mysteries, I limited myself to a much smaller number of books. There are a *lot* of mysteries on tape (these days, on CD), and once I discovered how much I enjoyed them, it gave me a huge number of new books to listen to and enjoy.

Mysteries actually turned out to be the best books to listen to while riding the exercise bike, because, more than other books, they pushed me to get myself out of bed to get further in the book and get to the bottom of the mystery. Some of my favorites have been the Mrs. Pollifax books by Dorothy Gilman and the Brother Cadfael series by Ellis Peters. These are so good that I read all the books in print that I couldn't find on tape at the library. They're also the only mysteries I'm inclined to reread, as they're interesting for more than just finding out what happens.

I've listened to several of Mary Higgins Clark's mysteries, though I lost interest in her books after a while. I enjoyed several books by Patricia Cornwell, and everything I listened to by Tony Hillerman. Other authors I have enjoyed (and would listen to more of their books if the library had them) are David Baldacci, Kathy Reichs, Phillip Margolin, and P.D. James. (One I haven't enjoyed enough to listen to more than one title by is Sue Grafton.)

Right now I'm listening to one (purchased from the library when they removed it from their holdings) by Elizabeth Peters. I enjoy it, but I have to admit that it's not gripping enough to get me eagerly out of bed in the morning to find out what comes next. Fortunately the next one in line (similarly purchased from the library) is by David Baldacci. As I remember, his books are real page-turners - or in this case, would that be pedal-turners?

Mince Pies

Cake or pie? Pie, definitely.

I've never been much of a cake person. Too many cakes just don't have a lot of flavor, and they're covered for frosting that's way too sweet and has hardly any flavor. I've occasionally had a good cake, but not very often. (Even a poor cake isn't bad with ice cream, though.)

Pies, however, are almost always good. Even if you burn the top crust (which I have done more than once), the filling is still good and so is the bottom crust. I never wanted to make pies back when I was growing up and saw my father trying to make a pie crust, but now you can buy pre-made crusts, so I've never tried to make my own (unless you count crumb crusts).
Picking a favorite kind, though - that's a challenge. Mince is one of my favorites, but it would be hard to choose between mince and a really good strawberry rhubarb pie. And even an ordinary apple pie, with a scoop of vanilla ice cream ... mmmmmm!

Then there's coconut cream pie (too bad no one else in my family likes coconut). And pecan pie (too rich to eat very much, though). Cheesecake pie - hmmm, is that a cake or a pie?

And then there are pies that aren't for desserts. I've always loved chicken pot pie. It was one of my favorite TV dinners as a child, and occasionally I still buy one of those little frozen pies. A lot of things aren't as good as I remember, but those pies are always good.

And what about a "pizza pie"? So many delicious possibilities.

I would be a comfortable chair in a library. It would be quiet, which I like, and I would be around books, which I love, and I would be making someone comfortable and giving that person to opportunity to relax and enjoy a good book, or learn something new.