Umm… everything! Okay, I’m not a hoarder, but I do tend to avoid getting rid of things. I usually have to have a clean sweep at the end of each week to toss various papers I’ve collected on my desk.

Anyway, one thing in particular I have difficulty getting rid of is books. My book shelves are piled high at the moment and I have several boxes stored in the garage. I don’t need them all, in fact, I don’t want them all. I can easily scan my collection and pluck out a significant amount of them that I’d like to just pass on. Either the book has become irrelevant in my life or I didn’t care for it when I read it. Yet, when it comes time to carry them out of the house, I can’t bring myself to do it.

The issue stems from a general anxiety I have about getting rid of things I MAY need in future, but the biggest problem is the strong attachment I have with books in particular. As I briefly joked about, I tend to tuck almost everything away for safe keeping. Who knows, I may need to refer back to this piece of mail, I might need that receipt or confirmation later on, perhaps I’ll want to review these notes, and who knows, I could feel compelled to create a scrapbook with all these mementos from a past trip. Now, at the end of the week, I’m motivated enough by the clutter to rummage through it all, tossing most of it. For bigger things in my life, such as clothes, shoes, or what have you, I also have major purges twice a year, once at the beginning, then about the middle of summer. I have a very strict ‘policy’ regarding what I’ll keep after that point, so I keep myself under control. However, books are in a category of their own.

Books have always been important to me. I struggled as a young child to read. In fact, I didn’t finish my first book until I was in eighth grade, and even that was reading along as I listened to it on tape. In sixth grade, after almost being held back on multiple occasions in school, I was diagnosed as Dyslexic. I’ve since, with the help of tutoring, hard work, and my grandmother taping books for me (during my mid-grade school years), developed the skill enough to get by. However, it’s still a challenge. I’m a relatively slow reader and am quick to bail on a book. If it doesn’t catch my attention and keep it within the first two chapters or doesn’t flow easily for me, I’ll drop the book in a heartbeat. I don’t see a reason to waste my time struggling through a book that doesn’t interest me. All this said, finishing a book is still a big deal for me, so I tend to keep them as trophies almost.

I also just love to read, even if it’s tough at times, and to learn. I love the quietness of the activity. That being said, I love being surrounded by books. I do like that my book shelves are full. Perhaps the most meaningful gifts in my life have been books, and I like them filling my room. I just plain find it hard to get rid of them because of all this, even though, I need to. I don’t need all of the books in here, and as mentioned, they all aren’t important to me. I’m always buying new books, so I need room for those and any empty space will quickly be filled. Err… frustrating.

My current boss is the best I’ve ever worked for. He motivates through his own passion for research. He shows such excitement about our work, it draws you in. Before you know it, it’s rubbed off to such an extent, you can’t help but want to work. You want to put in the extra effort, to get the needed data a day earlier than expected, to keep our data set organized and useable, to edit a research paper just one more time, in hopes it will meet his standards.

As long as he has the time, which he’s willing to make, he will go out of his way to help his advisees with their work. Asking insightful questions and prompting critical reflection on their work, leading to much needed breakthroughs or directing the project in a more focused direction. He cares about his students, and looks to add some fun to our year. He hosts various holiday parties and program retreats at his home, to help develop more personal relationships with his staff and among program students.

I’ve thrived under his mentorship thus far, and dread the day it’s time for me to move on. I know I’ll be prepared to strike out on my own, and I am excited for the opportunity to do so, but I know I will miss his supportive presence. Of course, I also know, it’s a connection that will continue, as he wants me to continue to be a successful researcher.