Plinky, Inc. http://www.plinky.com/people/saellys.xml All Rights Reserved Hannah Sheehan - Plinky Answers 2009-08-23T21:31:38-06:00 http://www.plinky.com/answers/70888 Recipe for Deafness 2009-08-23T21:31:38-06:00

The Fox by Sleater-Kinney

Bodysnatchers by Radiohead

Wake Up by Arcade Fire

]]> http://www.plinky.com/answers/53249 When I feel the need to be a corporate tool... 2009-05-06T02:16:40-06:00 I have a sky blue pinstripe blouse that is incredibly flattering, though it's falling apart a bit around the cuffs (that's easy to hide, though). That goes on over a black skirt with just a little swish to it.

For shoes I dig out my one pair of heels, fairly low closed-toe numbers with ankle straps, in soft leather the color of peanut butter. They're beautiful, they're so comfortable I could run in them, and they cost me two dollars. They also perfectly complement the blue of the shirt, and the contrast between the black skirt and my impossibly pale legs makes me look like I really know what I'm doing when it comes to fashion, at least.

]]> http://www.plinky.com/answers/53247 Babe, I'm On Fire 2009-05-06T02:05:42-06:00 I dropped a lit sparkler on my foot when I was nine. I was wearing flip-flops.

In the figurative sense, I've never been more passionate about both music and feminism than I was immediately after volunteering at Southern Girls Rock & Roll Camp in 2008. I only hope that fire will sustain me through being the camp director in 2009.

]]> http://www.plinky.com/answers/53246 The Twenty-Five Cents Dinner 2009-05-06T02:02:47-06:00 Brown Rice

For six months while Aaron was on deployment, I ate brown rice with lima beans almost every night. The secret is to cook it in vegetable broth--it tastes better and it's more filling.

Now I subsist mostly on things other people cook, or things I can microwave, but on days when I don't mind doing a little work for my food I'll still whip up a batch. For Christmas the in-laws sent us six giant canisters of textured vegetable protein, and now one package of rice and one can of lima beans plus half a cup of TVP makes about four bowls. Each batch costs maybe a dollar. Yum.

]]> http://www.plinky.com/answers/38258 Keep quiet or Mom will hear. 2009-03-26T16:16:22-06:00

It was cute, I guess. Coldplay's Parachutes was playing, and I still get chills during "Sparks" because of that night. He gave me a really great backrub, complete with back-kisses, which have never gotten any less exciting for me no matter who bestows them. Then we just sat there for a while and eventually kissed. No tongue, though--he was as hesitant to do that as he was to take my virginity (which he didn't). It was all rendered more exciting by the fact that Mom could walk in at any moment.

Aaaaand we broke up about a week later.

]]> http://www.plinky.com/answers/38243 Choose Your Own Adventure: Apocalypse Edition! 2009-03-26T15:51:55-06:00 The walking dead (or shambling, or sprinting, as the case may be) could gain access to my home far too easily, so rather than try to fortify three entrances and two giant windows, I would quickly abandon the place.

Immediately a difficult choice presents itself: do I flee the city in my Toyota Corolla (2009, 20k miles, excellent condition) or Aaron's Jeep Cherokee (1980-something, 100k+ miles, prone to breaking down)? Aaron's Jeep is roomier, so we can haul ourselves and the dogs and a shit ton of supplies as well as a few worthy survivors we might encounter on the way. It's also a four-ton vehicle, so we can pretty much plow through any obstacle short of a semi across the road (in which case we'll just go around). The Toyota would probably get us farther in the long run, but I plan to end up walking at some point no matter what, and I'm not particularly picky about when it happens.

Once a vehicle is selected, there are a few things I want to accomplish before ditching the city. First is looting. Let's assume that we managed to survive in the indefensible house for several days, long enough that most of the city has been devoured and we are free to break into whatever businesses we choose. The first one I visit will be the Tractor Supply Company a mile from my house. There I will take any pointy farming implement I can find that comes on a long handle. I might grab a machete as well, if one is available, just 'cause it looks badass to slice zombies with a machete and it's a good backup if they get past my long-range pokers. I'll also get some rope and bungee cords and other miscellaneous handy supplies that strike my fancy.

I will also get a nice long handsaw. Not for zombie-killing, but for playing with a cello bow I will loot from a music store (or from Ryan's house, since he'll probably be dead and it would be a shame to let all that gear go to waste). Once the power grid dies, I won't be able to use my Telecaster anymore, and the theremin I could also steal from Ryan's house will be useless. I've been meaning to learn proper saw-bowing technique for a while now, and God knows I'll have plenty of time to practice.

Once that pit stop is out of the way, I'll head for Wal-Mart. UNDER NO CONDITION will I set up a camp and attempt to live in Wal-Mart. This is stupid. There are two large sliding glass doors, a garden section with another glass door, an auto repair wing with at least two drive-up bays, a side entrance or two, and several semi loading bays in EVERY Wal-Mart. This is far, far too much to defend, even with all the crap in Wal-Mart you wouldn't use to make your home. Additionally, there's an awful lot of raw meat, produce, milk, cheese, and otherwise perishable food in Wal-Mart that will go bad when the power dies, and you do not want to go through the trouble of tossing all that crap out the back door (and probably attracting zombies in the process). And worst of all, most Wal-Mart stores are open twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, which means when the zombie epidemic reaches critical mass and spreads through the populace faster than you can keep track, Wal-Mart will be full of zombies. Do you want to set up camp, or a buffet?

No, there will be no settling in Wal-Mart. My goal is a very quick looting run. I will take a couple of my recently-procured weapons, tie a couple of carts together, and fill them with the following:

Distilled water
Medical supplies (including antibiotics from behind the pharmacy counter)
Non-perishable food items
Writing materials (to chronicle my adventures in the absence of blogs)
Camping stove
Sleeping bags
Tents/tarpaulins
Automotive supplies (spare tires and the like, enough to get us out of town without incident)
Large, sturdy backpacks
Dog food and treats
Kerosene/lighter fluid, kitchen matches, and other firestarting necessities
Two expensive rifles and their associated ammunition

N.B.: Firearms are useful as a backup, never a primary weapon. Eventually I will run out of ammo, and while they are good for taking out the undead from extreme range (provided my aim doesn't completely suck), they simply won't last as long as a solidly-built farming implement. Of course, I plan to stop at any army surplus or farm supply stores I encounter on my travels and upgrade or replace my close-range tools as necessary.

Now, if I decide after loading up on supplies at Wal-Mart that the best course of action is to hunker down someplace safe, I will make my way to Home Depot or Lowe's. They're across the street from each other and essentially identical, so it doesn't really matter which one I choose. I'll clear any straggler zombies with home improvement needs ("Bathtuuuuuuubs. BATHTUBS!") and set up a temporary--it doesn't have to last forever!--barricade over any possible entrances.

Then I will rig up a pulley system and begin construction on... a rafter house. That's right. I'll drag all that lovely lumber up to the ceiling and create what amounts to a high hide where no zombie could ever reach me (unless they grew wings or developed the ability to jump impossibly high). I'll use some fancy wood, and sand and varnish it; no reason to live in a shack when the world is my oyster. I'll also rig up some kind of innovative waste management system. As fun as it would be to poop on zombies' heads, I don't want to abandon all modcons.

Once the rafter house is done, I will pull down the barricades and ascend majestically to my new home. The zombies can swarm beneath me, providing entertainment and target practice when the mood strikes, and I will watch from elevated safety. When necessary, I will be able to descend to scavenge more supplies.

If we decide that perching in the rafters while rotting corpses mosey beneath me isn't all that enticing and a nomadic lifestyle is more to my taste, we'll hop back in the car and hit the road. Seven hours of driving (provided the zombies struck so quickly that no one had time to panic and try to evacuate the cities and clog up the interstate) will bring us to my hometown, where I will try to ascertain whether my friends and family were smart enough to survive the zombie hordes, or if they perished with the rest of civilization. A brief period of mourning may be in order.

With or without survivors in tow, I will then head for the most inspiringly zombie-proof house I have ever seen: a giant log cabin on a farm half an hour outside of town whose fundamentalist Christian owners have an arsenal of semi-automatic rifles at their disposal, not to mention a lot of farming implements. They grow their own food and I'm pretty sure they have a well on the property--the perfect self-sustaining stronghold in which to weather the storm.

Aaron may have to feign not being Jewish in order to get in with them, but it's a small price to pay for three square meals a day and the security of abundant firepower (and more ammo than we could ever carry in the Jeep). And if it happens that the family made the mistake of leaving a door open and were eaten by zombies before we got there, all the better! We'll just move in, toss up some boards where they're needed, and wait for the whole thing to blow over.

Or I may decide to perfect my hand-to-hand zombie combat (zombat?) techniques and just keep on going across the countryside on foot, like Johnny Appleseed (Johnny Zombieseed?). I'll be some kind of post-apocalyptic superhero, slaughtering zombies who cross my path and saving the malnourished survivors from certain doom! Aaron can come too.

Whatever I choose, it's gonna be SWEET.

]]>