Scarlette Quille - Plinky Answers

I wish Flip Cup would get more respect

2009-05-23T03:30:38-06:00

Well, I like Flip Cup because its a simple beer drinking game. I do not like beer but if I have to drink beer, and not Vodka, then I would rather drink beer in a Flip-Cup tournament.
Its a team sport, and after several rounds you get drunk. It's a great icebreaker, and women and men can compete together in perfect harmony.
Also the pageantry of uniforms, referees, expensive equipment, and an audience are not needed.
I love it.

'Tis better to have loved and lost than be a pussy

2009-05-20T15:30:46-06:00

I have to say loved and lost, not because I am an incurable romantic, it's more due to the fact that I believe in taking chances.
I don't think that its possible to be truly happy unless you are willing to stick your neck out a little, take a chance, fight for what you want.
In order to answer this question, you have to have known what it is like to love, otherwise, you aren't qualified to give an answer... right?
Humans have an unfathomable capacity to experience emotions and heal. If you get your "heart broken" there are still billions of possibilities out there. To say that "you will never love again" is like saying you will "never work again" after getting laid off. It doesn't make sense.
I believe that the romantic notion of being in love with someone so much that you can never love again after its over...is ridiculous.
People do not cease from all matters of the heart because they are so deeply wounded by a past lover. They stop searching because they are scared, romance has little to do with it.

Shoes Suck

2009-05-05T09:12:16-06:00

I rarely wear shoes. In fact I only wear shoes if I absolutely have to. Right now I am barefoot. When I was a teenager I was grounded several times for driving barefoot. I often take my shoes off in the office, and when the booze hits me just right I've been known to kick off my heels at a bar.
I'm not really sure what my hatred of shoes says about me. Maybe it suggests that I am a hillbilly. I like to think of myself more as a free spirit, but if the shoe fits...I won't wear it.
I believe this aversion to shoes has something to do with my fear of confinement. I don't like to wear tight things. In my opinion tight things include: underwear, shoes, and jeans. Obviously I wear all of these apparel items, but I take them off as soon as I can in favor of t-shirts and sweats or boxer shorts.
Also shoes require socks, and I can never find a matching pair of socks.
I realize that it isn't exactly sexy, but I don't feel the need to conform to society's standards for women at the price of my comfort. Sure I will wear high heels and dresses when the occasion calls for it, however if you catch me on any given day I would say I spend 75 percent of it shoeless!

Goin' All The Way was a let down

2009-05-01T15:39:34-06:00

Well, I was in high school at the time, and I was somewhat of a wild child. I assure you am so much more refined now. However; I'd been hearing this rumor that sex was super fun and that everybody was doing it.
I had an understanding of sex obviously, but I thought it would be more like plugging in a night light: you just push it in and the magic begins. It took me years to get over that disappointment.
When the opportunity to go all the way presented itself I was overnight babysitting for some people. In the grand tradition of baby sitters I invited my boyfriend over about 5 minutes after I put the kids to bed. I think I drank half a bud light to "relax". And then we did it on the couch. And it wasn't memorable or fun for that matter. No fireworks, no screaming God's name.
I was seriously like, um is that it? I think I'll stick to dry humping.
Needless to say, I became somewhat of a sex expert as far as my mostly virgin friends were concerned. I had about 5 minutes of experience, but it didn't stop me from handing out advice.
It took me a few years to figure out how to have fun going all the way. Living with my parents prevented me from practicing my craft as freely as I would have liked to. Moral of the story: some places have to be visited more than once before you figure out the fun things to do there.

Maksim from Dancing With The Stars Can Hit It from the Back, I mean have my back

2009-04-30T12:41:32-06:00

The strategy is for Maksim and I to make out while Ellen distracts the enemy. If they still want to rumble? I'll turn on our ghetto blaster to Beat It, and let the ass beating begin.

Maksim from Dancing With The Stars
Maksim can dance and kick ass at the same time. He is a dick to all of his partners, and the only reason anyone likes him is because he's hot. He would be the perfect guy to have in my gang because l can't think of anything more humiliating for other crews than to get a beat down by some one who wears sequined spandex. Also I'm pretty sure he is the gang leader for the dancers in DWTS so he would come with a lot of back up and spray tanner.

Ellen
I would choose Ellen as the other member because she can really break it down. And I want to be her friend in real life so I see this as a win/win situation. She can dance her heart out and distract the enemy with her wit and charm. Also she wouldn't succumb to the sexiness that is Maksim, because girlfriend don't roll that way.

Sometimes Burning Up Is a Good Thing

2009-04-29T20:07:18-06:00

If a year was a tangible object and not just a memory I would kiss last year tenderly on the face and then make love to it.
I was on fire last year, just one year ago today.
It was glorious, I had a great job, a marriage proposal from my boyfriend, and I was on the way to Japan to star in a reality tv show. Sometimes I would just make money for no apparent reason. While other people were getting laid off and companies were crumbling I was living my dream.
Life was sweet, and I was skinny.
If I had to be on a new movie called "Groundhog Year" and relive last year over and over again, I would do it for the rest of my life.
As we all know though, a lot can change in a year. I think about that all the time when I am paddling down the ranch dressing river in my french fry canoe, wondering if I will ever be employed again. I don't have a job, or a reality show anymore. But I do have a husband, last year he gave me diamonds and asked me to marry him, this year he hogs the remote and farts openly.
If I could impart any words of wisdom to my fellow Plinksters (a lot like gangsters just replace the glocks with laptops) I would say if you are on fire: SAVOR EVERY MOMENT. Bottle it up, keep it in a special drawer and draw on its fragrance in your darkest hours. The memories of our best times get us through the tough ones!

Jessica Simpson: You are Full of SH**

2009-04-28T23:40:14-06:00

Jessica please quit pissing on everyone's leg and telling them its water. If you want to get your career back then you should take this advice:
Quit lying.
Saying things like "I am not dumb, I just pretend like I am dumb" is desperate. This is the classic line of dumb people who wish they were smart, but aren't smart enough to say something smart.
Secondly, no one believes that you are a size 2. I understand that "admitting" to being a size 2 in hollywood is like admitting that you free base the cream out of Twinkies. However; the people in hollywood are not your fans, trust me. The regular people, who buy your shitty CD's and hair extensions, think that a size 8 is skinny. You could be honest about it and people would be far more forgiving. Another option? Fire the person who dresses you. If that person is you, you are really screwed.
Thirdly you are not an actress or a country singer. You are a blonde pop singer with a B- voice. You have a nice rack and that can get you far in the world. There is no shame in embracing your assets. Pretending that you can act and sing country music, is just an insult to humanity.
There are worse things to be in the world than dumb and pretty.

My Unemployed Ass Is Just Taking Up Space

2009-04-27T18:11:26-06:00

Because I love you I didn't attach a picture

I am the wife, and the most useless thing at in my house. Right now I am blogging, and playing on Plinky instead of cooking, cleaning, or sexing with my husband. I was laid off three months ago, and still have no job prospects. I have spent a lot of time feeling sorry for my self, and getting a giant ass.
I suck at anything domestic, my only talent is my "personality", how do I know that? Oh, because I was on reality tv.
I picked my daughter up from school last week, and she asked me "Mommy, why do you look so pretty?"
I had brushed my hair.
I am really good at having a job. With out a job and the safety of a cubicle I am lost. Now that I have to do this whole house wife thing, I'm beginning to wonder why God hates me.
I'm pretty sure that its because I say fuck all the time, and haven't been to church for at least 10 years.
Anyway, I don't think its any secret that I am the useless one.
Oh, and the next time I hear someone that has a job complain about the economy I might just kick them in the privates.

Marijuana is the gateway to the bottom of a bag of Doritos...

2009-04-21T12:07:33-06:00

I went to the Warped Tour at the Gorge in George Washington a couple of years ago. Great place to watch a concert if you haven't been I highly recommend it.
I have never really been much of a pot head, but that was one day in which I wished marijuana was legal. Why? Because they were charging between $7 and $9 for domestic draft beer, and you had to wait in line to pay that ridiculous price. If I had just smoked out with the other smart people in the parking lot, then I wouldn't have had to endure an 7 hour punk concert sober.
I will never understand why marijuana is not legal. How many people do you know smoked some pot and then got in a fist fight or beat down their girl friends door? We can drink booze, smoke cigarettes and eat fast food until our arteries are so clogged that we have heart attacks....and that is perfectly legal. But smoking weed is illegal...mostly because it is a "gateway" drug. What the hell? Its less dangerous than booze but a gateway to the hard stuff?
Pot is the gateway to one thing and one thing only: the bottom of a bag of Doritos.

1 companion and No Booze. NO Thanks!!

2009-04-17T14:03:47-06:00

I can't think of anything in the world as torturous as only having one person to talk to for an extended amount of time. I would probably murder my companion. I can't handle most people longer than 4 days, then I start to imagine things happening to them. I don't consider being stuck with one person for a long period of time relaxing.
And when they say food do they mean healthy organic island shit, or good stuff like ice cream and steak?
Also you didn't mention how much booze is available. Can you imagine being stuck with one person, and having to be sober the whole time? Yuck.
Also I have small human lives that I am responsible for...I don't think you are allowed to abandon your children when they are still in elementary school. I also have a cat and a husband. So there would never be toilet paper at my house or a clean litter box.
I think I'd lose my mind worrying about them...
So TAKE ME HOME.

Learn from your first marriage...

2009-04-12T21:23:08-06:00

Separate Bank Accounts...
You should never completely co-mingle your assets. I don't really want to know how much money my "mate" spends on Ebay, and car parts. And I certainly don't need him to know what I spend on booze and shoes.

Don't let the dog watch you have sex.
Its weird. Have you ever been in the middle of a good romp when you look across the bed and a pug is staring you in the eyes? Maybe one of you will be like "who cares" but its hard for the other one to enjoy it when they feel like they are traumatizing a friendly creature.

Never spend a more than a weekend with the in-laws.
Going on a weeklong vacation with your own parents can be slightly annoying and stressful. However; you can kick your own sibling's ass or tell YOUR parent's to stop bugging the shit out of you.
When on vacation with the in-laws you have to silently endure all of their bizarre customs. Ie; undercooking chicken.
For one weekend its an inconvenience, anything longer than that is straight torture.

He was a hippie that lived 8 hours away,

2009-04-09T11:38:19-06:00

The things you discover a year in...

This relationship is now over, but it lasted for about a year. The reason that it worked out so good is that we only saw each other twice a month. Therefor, it took me 4 times as long to realize that we needed to break up. His "once in awhile" pot habit was more like an everyday 4 times a day one. And he was 28, and still drove his parents broke down subaru wagon. The passenger door didn't work, so when we arrived at our destination he had to walk around the car and open my door with a screw driver. At first this little oddities seemed cute, and different.
And then after a while it just clicked...I'm driving 8 hours to see a lazy pothead with prettier hair than mine. Also he has been in "college" for 8 years and doesn't even have a Bachelors yet.
I turned my car around went home, and broke it off.

A haiku about Beverly Hills Chihuahua

2009-04-09T11:26:07-06:00

little racist dog
falls in love with landscaper
after he saves her life

Urinating Outdoors Helps the Environment

2009-04-06T16:05:52-06:00

There are lots of things you can do to save the environment, but my personal favorite is urinating outside.
Peeing outside saves water, toilet paper, and electricity. It also allows you to feel the cool breeze on your privates. This sensation can't really be described as it is something we all should experience.
Also peeing outside is a skill that everyone should master whether or not they are male or female. It is a vital skill when attending keggers in your youth, if you don't know how to do it right, you will inevitably get urine all over your feet or shoes. In adulthood the need to relieve yourself outside happens when vacationing in Mexico and on long road trips. I do not use porta potties, why?
Because I think they give people the trots. Have you ever been in a porta potty that doesn't have a huge mound of diarrhea staring back up at you when you go to sit down? Seriously.
I am a little off topic now. The point is that that I probably don't do enough to protect the environment. I believe that there is a real threat to our environment, I don't think people are making that up as part of a propaganda filled agenda. It's just hard to see the desperation when you literally live in a forest as I do. There isn't room to plant more trees, and no one here is rich enough to afford a hybrid, but I would get one if I could. Sure would beat the hell out of driving my gas-guzzling 1992 Chevy Blazer.

At Least I Got a Free Trip To Japan...

2009-04-06T15:43:40-06:00

I had my 15 minutes of fame last summer. I was a contestant on the ABC reality show: I Survived a Japanese Game Show. I am from a rather small rural town, so I have had a lot of attention and press from my some what disappointing performance on the show. I made it to the 3rd episode (out of 7) when I was eliminated by a buxom blonde bimbo. Sad.
Anyway, when ever I go to the local mall, and when I say mall I mean Walmart I get accosted by fans.
The conversations always go like this:
Random Person: Are you the girl from the Japanese Gameshow?
Me: Yep
Random Person: Those people were so mean to you. Why didn't you tell them off.
Me: I did but apparently the editors at ABC didn't feel the words "cock bite" and "dumb shit" were things that an naive innocent from North Idaho would say...
Random Person: They really do that?
Me: Yes.. can't you see I am much more of a bitch in person?
Random McRandomson: Uh, yeah.

Don't say 'Creamy' around me

2009-03-26T17:40:55-06:00

Creamy
I can't explain why I hate the word creamy so much but I find it disgusting. It reminds me of this pile of dog crap that my brother flinged on me when I was about 7.
I was crying hysterically, my Mom was like "nobody likes a tattle tale" and then I was like "It was the creamy kind Mom."
Yeah, I guess it reminds me that my brother is the favorite.

Zombies Don't Come To North Idaho, but if they did...

2009-03-26T11:34:21-06:00

Logistically I am not in a Zombie friendly zone. North Idaho is a place where most households own at least one rifle and know how to use them. It is also freezing and sparsely populated here, not exactly a feeding frenzy for something that moves as slowly as a zombie. I mean if they came to my house they would have to drag their mangled bodies 2 miles to get to the next house.
Upon arriving in North Idaho, I feel like the Zombies would probably realize that it isn't worth the trouble and go somewhere where their prey is a little easier to pick off.
I was taught how to shoot a gun when I was about 6. So I have no problem pointing the barrel of a gun out the window and blowing a zombies head off.
FYI: I am considered to be a liberal in my neck of the woods. I do have a gun, because someone tried to break into my car once, and I live way too far out of town to wait for the cops. Only a really scary person tries to rob people out in the woods. A few weeks after that a Moose attacked my dog nearly killing it. I wish that wasn't true...but it is.
So my Dad got me the gun, and I enjoy the false sense of security it brings. Although it does freak out my Southern Californian husband.
Now we have the gun in case an intruder or enraged moose comes into my yard, then I can wave it in the air like a crazed hick, and watch them scuttle into the night. And if that doesn't work I let the dogs loose. I have 3 large dogs, and yes I am ultra paranoid.
However, in the case of Zombies, I would just open fire, and use our plow truck as an escape vehicle.
I'm so glad you asked this question, now I am prepared for almost every kind of intruder..

There is a fine line between sex pot and slut.

2009-03-25T19:58:35-06:00

Its my opinion that most people are capable of being a slut at times, and sexy at others. One only needs to go out on Halloween to discover how many people have an inner slut. However; this question asks for a definition so here we go...

The difference between sexy and slutty has to be dissected in at least two seperate ways:
First there is the completely shallow appearance based "slutty" I would define that as people who have an almost 75 percent artificial look, fake tan, fake hair, fake nails, fake boobs, fake teeth paired with a navel baring outfit. A perfect example of this would be any person on Rock of Love. A sexy look is mostly natural with sparing usage of enhancements. A perfect example of this would be Kate Winslet and Leonardo De Caprio on any given day.
The next kind of Sexy Vs. Slutty is the type that is based on a person's actions. Dating someone that is 20 years or more older than you because they are rich, is slutty. Going on reality tv with the intention of sleeping with people in order to get notoriety is slutty. Sleeping with someones spouse is not only fucked up, it is also slutty. Sexy actions are usually easy to spot: a person who respects and cares for their significant other, sending your partner a suggestive (not expletive) text, taking off your clothes for fun not money, being nice to animals, in my opinion people are the sexiest when they aren't being ass wads to others.
Having said that, I think most people are capable of being a slut sometimes and sexy at others. Its a choice.

I Got Dumped By A Man Carrying a Purse

2009-03-19T14:05:56-06:00

First of all I need to clue you in on somethings. This guy was really weird, he was hairless he tanned all the time, and he wore manties (bikini underwear). He came over to my house all the time to discuss our "feelings" and brought me a present almost every time he saw me, either a plant, booze, and gossip magazines. You can't blame me for thinking that he was into me, I let down my guard and began dating him exclusively.
He stayed over night and left before work one morning, it was Halloween. I didn't hear from him all day, which was weird since he called me twenty-four seven. He had promised to come with me and take my daughter's trick-or-treating. He never showed up, I went with out him.
I was worried that he was hurt or something. Then I went into my bedroom and there was a note on my bed. He had broken into my house and left me a break-up note. It was beyond fucked up. It said things like he didn't know who he was, and he was an angry messed up person that doesn't deserve love. I was pissed, so I decided to go and confront him.
He was pulling out of his friends driveway when I caught up to him, I jumped out of my car and it looked like he was just going to speed away. I don't really know what came over me but the next thing I know I reached into the car and grabbed some cupcakes that were in the passenger seat leftover from a kids Halloween party, When he got out of the car I just starting pelting him with the cupcakes. It was surreal.
Anyway, getting dumped the next day via note when he stayed the night with me the night before, was pretty crushing. I never saw it coming.
I think the reason that he was fucked up is because he really wanted to BE a girl not date one, I should have known when I saw his manpurse.

Any Power Ballad Will Do, But these are Exceptional

2009-03-14T02:03:37-06:00

Careless Whispers by George Michaels

Time After Time by Cyndi Lauper

Don't know what you got (Till its gone) by Cinderella

Used To Fit In These jeans, is my name

2009-03-12T00:27:11-06:00

Interestingly enough, I LIKE Flaming Hot Cheetos, So eating them has become a HABIT, and now one of my traits is that I can't fit into my pants. Which has become a problem, when I have a vacation looming in the next two weeks.
Yikes.

Dumb Fantastical Question Not deserving of An Answer

2009-03-09T16:20:44-06:00

This is the dumbest Plinky PROMT EVER

I can't believe that I am answering such a very stupid question. For a shark and a bear to have a fight, one would have to NOT breath during the duration of the entire fight, considering the fact that bears are not aquatic animals and sharks don't even have legs.
So then you are left with trying to figure out a scenario where such an event could possibly happen, which again is almost impossible because sharks live in warm climates where salt water is abundant and bears live in cooler climates with vast supplies of fresh water.
Seriously, I can't answer this question, I picked bear because I find them more attractive, and you had to pick one.
I am ashamed for even taking the time on this one.

My favorite line from 'Moulin Rouge '

2009-03-06T11:49:31-06:00

"We are creatures of the underworld Satine, we can't afford to love."
I suppose you have to first experience being in a dark place, and knowing better than to drag another person there with you. Its not funny, I know, I usually write nonsense in order to get a laugh, but you asked me for a FAVORITE line from a movie, and that my friends is it!!!

My favorite line from 'Moulin Rouge '

2009-03-06T11:38:32-06:00

I Regret Being the Bigger Person:

2009-03-03T15:31:31-06:00

One evening my daughter had the poop flu. In case you are not aware of this ailment, you'll know you have it when you shart every 10 minutes or so. I had to pull into Walmart for some emergency items basically fluids and pepto, and I parked my car in a loading zone. You see us Moms will do that kind of thing when our 8 year old child is standing in the back seat of the car with their pants full of shit.
I ran into the store grabbed 3 items out of the pharmacy threw a $10 bill at the cashier and ran back to my car, it took less than 10 minutes.
However; some old fucker came up to my car and started yelling at me for being so "irresponsible" parking my car their and leaving the kids in it. I wonder what he would have though if I brought shit pants in the store with me? I honestly wish I would have jumped out of the car and stuck my daughters shitty drawers down his throat.
Instead I looked ashamed and drove away.
If I had to do it over again, I would have called him every version of the world asshole I could think of.
Funny how you always regret NOT telling people of but seldom regret when you do....
Maybe thats just me.

I'm Handy if it suits me!

2009-03-03T14:55:18-06:00

I bought a lampshade because its so very lovely and matches my green glass lamp, but I didn't know that it actually doesn't have the right stuff in it to hook it up to my very vintage lamp. So I made a connection with duct-tape string, and a paper clip.
You can't even tell unless you look under it.
My husband however; says its the most ghetto thing he has ever been a part of....
I can also make a tv antenna out of just about anything, and I am a sound wizard, I can make a 50 year old tv speaker work on a walkman.
However; my handiness is mostly confined to entertainment devices, ask me to fix a car or a vacuum, and I will go tits up.

Lahaina Prison is the oldest place I've been, that comes to mind, because it was last year.

2009-02-25T22:01:39-06:00

The town of Lahaina was my favorite place in Maui, it had really crazy trees old trees, as well as the hundred year old prison...I'm having a hard time making this post exciting, I mean a historical landmark. Boooorrrring,
Lahaina is a great place to walk off a hang over and enjoy delicious food and great shopping...
see no matter what I write it sounds like a tourist ad.

Everyone Becomes Their Parents...

2009-02-25T01:28:56-06:00

I resolved never to be like my parents because they were the epitome of "do as I say and not as I do". They partied, and stayed up late, ate bad food, basically had all the fun. I had to go to bed early, baby sit my siblings, and tuck my shirts in for school.
Now I do it to my kids even worse. For example, I drink between 3-6 diet cokes a day, and they are not allowed to drink soda. I take my kids to church activities even though we don't go to church. I do this in hopes that some really good morals will rub off on them, to counteract the amount of times a day, they hear me say things like "Who shit their pants?"
It always gets a laugh, but I'm pretty sure you are not supposed to say it in front of kids.

I peed my Garanimals in second grade....

2009-02-18T16:57:10-06:00

I peed my pants at school in second grade. My teacher was a nazi and wouldn't allow me to use the bathroom...
It was during my computer time, when computers were like the brand new thing and as big as a pin ball machine, I begged her pleaded, and then lost my faculties my brand new pair of purple Garanimals, it was mortifying. My parents treated me like a "special" child and had discussions over it, and lets not even talk about what it did to my social status..
Mrs. Jordan was a bitch.

My Comfort Foods Defined...

2009-02-18T01:41:31-06:00

I drown my sorrows in Grey Goose, Flaming Hot Cheetos, and Sweedish fish. And to ask me to choose just one would be like asking Bill Hendrickson to pick a favorite wife.
The Goose is necessary for mind alteration, if I am stressed I find that booze helps, and I don't like the cheap stuff.
As for the Flaming Hot Cheetos, I like the way they burn and crunch, its as close to eating tapatia sauce that a person can get, and the pain helps me forget my problems.
As for the Sweedish fish, they are the perfect candy sweet, chewy and completely artificial.
I mean seriously, who the F-ing H wants to eat carrots when their stressed?