Rob Harmon - Plinky Answers

A Letter to My Great-Great-Grandchildren

2011-03-18T00:57:20-06:00

Dearest great-great grandchild, I hope you have a chance to read this letter. But given the production of public schools I would be quite astounded if you know how to read. If you are reading this then you made it off planet! I'm glad to see that the new Martian atmoshere is holding up. I do however apologize for polluting Earth irreversibly...but hey it sure was fun while it lasted! Well I'm a little short on time right now after going through the new cryo-thawing process. They are not allowing any 20th century people to have direct contact with post-mortality humans, however I am told that if I survive my nano-laser autopsy that I will be allowed to live out the rest of my days in the survival caves on Earth. Either way this will be the last you will hear from me, so if you learn nothing else from me know this..."Soylent green is people!"

What I'd Say to My 16-Year-Old Self

2010-08-20T02:37:57-06:00

Stop drinking now! It will be your biggest downfall and quitting one of your greatest accomplishments!

First rule of relationships: 1 rule and only one:

2009-04-17T05:39:48-06:00

1 rule and only one:
She's always right!!!

Real Fathers is someone I admire

2009-04-08T01:38:46-06:00

Real Fathers
I mean men who stay with the mother of their child, And men who even with a judicial system which tends to be against them. Still fight for custody of their children, rather than see them once a week and be okay with that.
Men who don't have casual sex with people they don't know, And make babies they can niether afford or have plans to take responsibility for.
The real fathers like myself who raise the bar for these Part-time dads. Someone once said "Any man can be a dad, but it takes a real man to be a father" And to any real fathers who read this "Thank You for giving your children and women hope for the male gender." Because we need more real fathers out there setting good examples.

When I grow up...

2009-04-07T04:40:26-06:00

I wanna be a little bit taller, I wanna be a baller, I wanna have a girl who looks good and I'll call er', I wanna have a rabbit in a hat with a bat and a 64 impala.

Stuck in an elevator with Richard Dean Anderson

2009-04-03T01:10:27-06:00

Richard Dean Anderson
He may just be an actor, but who doesn't want Macguyver around when there in trouble!

Here, have a million dollars

2009-04-01T01:11:41-06:00

First I would post classified adds in all of the local newspapers asking for volunteers who would be willing to give up 3 months of their time to work at a summer camp for children with HIV and AIDS.
The money would be divided up equally between everyone who shows up.

I demand 70 virgins

2009-04-01T00:55:15-06:00

70 virgins

Zombies!

2009-03-27T02:00:46-06:00

If illegal aliens get stimulus money I'm sure zombies will too. So I'm going to steal their stimulus cheks and buy guns.

My favorite line from 'Men in black'

2009-03-26T05:11:30-06:00

The difference between me and you is, I make this look good!