I have never laughed so hard reading a book. I was on a trip in Brazil when I read it, and every single page I would stop and read it aloud to the others with me.

In chronological order:

My abdomen has an 8" horizontal scar just above my belly button from my first stomach surgery when I was 3 days old.

Above that, on the left side of my abdomen, for about 21 years I had a "second bellybutton" that was actually a scar from the feeding tube I had as a baby after that surgery.

My neck, the right side, has about a 1" scar that I believe was from some procedure at that time as well.

Also from this time I think I have 2 little scars on my ankles from IVs.

I have 2 chicken pox scars on my nose. One on the end and one on the side.

When I was in junior high, I went to a band competition and hit my knee on a chair. I have a little scar from that on my left knee.

There is a 6" vertical scar on my abdomen that skews my belly button now. This is the result of 2 surgeries (2003 and 2005) using the same incision location.

Also from those surgeries I have 4 small, circular scars from drainage tubes on my lower torso.

In 2003 I had a J-tube which left a scar at the left end of the horizontal scar. This is the same place where I had another feeding tube for 6 months in 2005-2006.

In 2003 I also had a G-tube which replaced the original "second belly button". Now it looks more like a small line than a circle.

I have a small scar on the right side of my ribcage where I received a chest tube when my lung collapsed in 2005.

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Rationally, these are battle scars that prove my strength and resilience and the goodness of God. So why am I halfway terrified of listing them here for the world to see?

If I were a famous rapper, who would be in my posse?

Ira Glass
He's one of those "hipster know-it-alls who makes normal people sound fascinating" (in the words of "The OC") And I would love to hear him narrate my life and feel fascinating each day.

Helen Thomas
She is one bad mama jama who can hold her own. I'd want to learn some of her confidence and rest assured she had my back against the haters.

St. Bono of Dublin
Spiritual adviser and keeper cool of things.