- hello Zoe Graves
- Username: solarecreator
- In response to: "If you were in a movie right now, what music would be playing?" Gothic opera because I'm so epic. Nah, kidding, probably something slow and depressing.
- solarecreator's latest answers
- What I Appreciate About My Family
Oooooohhhhh, you so sneaky, making me think good thoughts about people I spend so much time complaining about. My family isn't close, in fact we barely tolerate each other. We're all intelligent and with very strong personalities so it's hard to get along when you're constantly butting heads over the smallest things.
That said, here's my list:
Eldest step-sis - determination. She managed to drag herself up from a very dark place to a decent current life. good girl.
Eldest younger bro - cutest new daddy ever, who'd've thunk it?
Elder younger half-sis - paid her own way through private high school and college and nanny school, damn girl!
Younger younger bro - um. always speaks his mind and doesn't back down or compromise. sometimes this virtue is annoying but I'll give it to him.
Younger younger half-sis - she is artsy and can draw a bit.
mom - *sigh* um. she is... a sensitive soul who takes care of old people... I guess?
dad - great cook, world's best driver, advice-giver extraordinaire.
dad's dad - gives until he has nothing left
dad's mom - ughhhh. fine. she has a sense of style and home.
mom's mom - loyal to a long-past love
mom's dad - the long past love, and he was always willing to bend his beliefs to fit new information. a lesson the rest of his family could stand to learn.
Auntie S - also artsy, when she gets the chance to practice it.
Auntie L - can crochet like no one's biznez
Uncle T - knows how to run a biznez
Aunt and Uncle: L and N - survivors who don't stay down
Aunt and Uncle: D and D - supportive of their family through good times and bad
Aunt and Uncle: S and K - sweetest dang people you'll ever meet
Aunt and Uncle: M and P - managed to stay together despite a whole Jobian heap of crap and drama
Aunt L and former Uncle J: J is gone, sadly, but L soldiers on in the face of trauma while being a second mom to her grandkids cause mah cousin... grrrrr. doesn't do a god job as a mom. Sorry, very little good to say about that girl.
I could go on and do the cousins but then I'd be writing for hours cause I've got about 50 of them. And second cousins and twice removed cousins, and just a whole mess of family I rarely see and have no reason to even think about.
I pretty much concentrate on just making it through the day. If I took on worrying about everyone's life I'd never be able to function. It's not because I'm a cold-hearted witch, it's because I'm not and once I start to feel it's hard to turn it off. So I just stay out of it, stay alone, and keep treading water.
- The Best Holiday Gift
I don't know about best, but here's a funny story:
My mom had this awful habit of buying me a gift every birthday and Christmas that SHE wanted, passing it off as something for me, and then when I opened it and obviously didn't want it (because it was old lady stuff to a kid) she would say "Well, if you don't want it, I'll take it!"
I remember several of these gifts. One was a little decoration that goes on the wall, a house-shaped thing with a little curio in each 'room'. To a 9 year old that's snoresville. I wasn't unappreciative, I was just a kid, and that wasn't a kid's gift.
One year she went so far as to buy a dress IN HER SIZE and give it to me as a gift. It was a navy blue with little white and yellow flowers all over it.
Well I finally got her back. One Christmas we were living in New York Mills, MN in a blue house at the end of a cul-du-sac. I had asked for various toys and such but was just dreading opening whatever she wanted for herself this year.
When I got to the gift I knew it was the one because I saw her sit forward in anticipation of delivering her usual line.
Well the joke was on her this time. I opened up a clock radio. She had no idea that a little kid would possibly want a clock radio. I loved it! I gushed over it! Her face fell and she was grumpy for the rest of the day because I'd beat her at her own selfish game.
The next day she went out and bought herself the EXACT SAME clock radio, same model, everything, at an after Christmas sale.
She only stopped doing this little charade when I moved out to live with my dad at 14. Since then gifts have been mostly money or she pays for something I wanted on-line.
I've never brought this up with her, because she'd deny it if I did, but I still have the little seed of an idea in the back of my mind of how I'd give her something that I actually wanted and use the line on her instead. Haven't done it yet, but the thought is there.
- On Lying
Of course! Can you imagine a world without lies? Even in that one movie with Ricky Gervais where there are no lies, he finds a use for them. Civilization as we know it would not exist without lies. Humans would never had made it down from the trees.
Animals lie all the time! A duck will lead a predator away from her nest by pretending to be hurt, an octopus will change color to trick prey, a butterfly will look like a twig!
Our own senses lie to us! What we see is often not what's really there. they've done studies on this! Change blindness, the gorilla in the room, etc. We hear noises that aren't there and feel our phone vibrate when it's not in our pocket. Our brain lies to us every second of our lives.
Everything and everyone lies.
Now do we NEED lies? Hell yes!
For self preservation, for fun and jokes, for mating-- lies are essential. But like most things, there are the shades of grey between a bald-faced hurtful greedy lie (you car needs a new transmission!) and pure, innocent white lie you didn't even know was a lie (someone stole my glasses! - they're on your head).
So when is it ok to lie? What kinds of lies are acceptable? In my opinion, the non-malicious ones. If your intent with the lie to to harm, then it is a bad lie. If you intent is to protect something or someone, then lie away.
Now does it hurt when someone uses a white lie on you? (you said you were fine! now I find out you were really sad, why didn't you share that with me?) Yes, it can feel like you're not trusted by the liar.
That's where communication comes in. We all need to work on being more open and accepting of each other and not be so afraid to share, then we won't need those little white lies as much. Because, be honest, they mostly come from fear, right? Fear of rejection an abandonment and conflict.
So be better to each other, talk it out, trust a little, and don't depend on the lies to see you through.
- Five Things I'm Good At
I'm only good at these things because I've screwed them up so many times I now know better.
1. Writing. I still think most of my work is crap but every once in a while i feel I've created a gem. Plus, all my old work now looks like the steaming piles of dookie it really is so I can recognize I've improved.
2. Baking cookies. No explanation needed, my cookies rock.
3.Traveling. I've made it around the world. I can negotiate airports and figure out bus and subway systems like a boss.
4. Teaching. I'm not always the most patient but damn, I'm creative and enthusiastic about my craft.
5.Quoting movies and useless trivia. Now if only I could make money off this somehow...